Written by Rebel Not Taken

Tuesday, 13 December 2011

image for QPR bit by "rat" Suarez
Luis Suarez goes down in the penalty box.

Neil Warnock has claimed that Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has the most dangerous teeth in the Premier League.

"Suarez was like Ken Dodd on acid out there today. His hampsteads never stopped moving and they tore our defence to shreds. Our forwards looked toothless by comparison", admitted the QPR manager after his team's defeat at Anfield.

The Uruguayan has previous for chomping at the bit and was branded the "Cannibal of Ajax" last season after biting the shoulder of Dutchman Marco van Edam during a game before being transferred to Liverpool for £23 million this year.

"Suarez's teeth are a constant threat. They were in our boys faces all afternoon and our back four were sent for rabies jabs as soon as the final whistle went", said Neil Warnock.

But QPR fans were not so complimentary about the gnawing scouser after he scuttled through their defensive traps to scratch the only goal of the game.

"That Mickey Mouser looks like a rat. He could eat an apple through a letterbox" claimed Terry Snide, a Rentokil operative from Shepherd's Bush.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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