Plucky Brits Advised: - Enjoy Your Turkey - Next Year It'll Be Roast Rat And Pigeon Pie

Funny story: Plucky Brits Advised: - Enjoy Your Turkey - Next Year It'll Be Roast Rat And Pigeon Pie

As Britain reels under the pulverising blows of the double-treble salsa cheesy dip recession, Chancellor 'Gorgeously Ugly' George Osborne warned legions of plucky Brits to enjoy their turkey this Christmas, because next year - if economic indicators...

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Interpol Seeking "Tits for Tarts" CEO

Funny story: Interpol Seeking "Tits for Tarts" CEO

Interpol has issued an arrest warrant for Jacques Teton, CEO of "Tits for Tarts" on charges of perpetuating a fraud. The basis for the arrest warrant was the French government's recall of all the defective breast implants that were manufactured by T...

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"Father Chrismas Is Real! I've Seen Him!" Insists Local Man

Funny story: "Father Chrismas Is Real! I've Seen Him!" Insists Local Man

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock, a stunningly athletic Olympic gymnastics gold medallist and three time World Ker-Plunk champion, today shocked friends, family, neighbours, the media, and former boxing champion, Ricky Hatton, by declaring to the world...

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Air Jordan limited edition for sale?

Funny story: Air Jordan limited edition for sale?

People with an intelligence quota between 22-68 caused a frenzy at retail outlets across the nation as scuffles broke out that nearly caused riots in many places. Garry Kasparov, World Chess Grandmaster, who possess an intelligence quota of 190 s...

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Taliban set to sue French makers of breast implants

Funny story: Taliban set to sue French makers of breast implants

The makers of breast implants said to be causing concern amongst users because it is alleged they leak silicone, now have a totally new headache to contend with in the form of cuddly terrorist organisation the Taliban. Speaking from a cave outside...

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Britain's favourite Christmas TV

It's Christmas, and despite the economic crisis, Britons are pulling together and doing what they do best - sitting on their fat arses (the biggest in Europe) and watching TV. So what programmes are the most popular during this festive period? We did a survey to find out. The most watched TV show was "When Sharks Attack at Christmas", a graphic documentary about the dangers of swimming near...

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Nike's new Air Jordan shoe causes riots in the US!

Funny story: Nike's new Air Jordan shoe causes riots in the US!

Nike has released a new version of their successful shoe range, Air Jordan, and thousands of desperate punters attempting to buy a pair have caused riots in many major cities. Sneaker shop keepers just couldn't provide every customer with a pair o...

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Aaaargh! Bloody dead rodent in Queen's Heston Blumenthal Orange Xmas Pudding shock horror

Funny story: Aaaargh! Bloody dead rodent in Queen's Heston Blumenthal Orange Xmas Pudding shock horror

Norfolk - The discovery of a partially boned, defurred and lightly marinated rat inside the Christmas dessert has stunned the Queen. The anonymouse-ly executed prank is the latest of HM's Yuletide mishaps which started last night when Phil the Gre...

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Discovery Institute to buy the Vatican

Funny story: Discovery Institute to buy the Vatican

The Discovery Institute, the public and commercial face of the Intelligent Design Creationism movement have made a bold bid to buy the Vatican from the Catholic church. "We believe that the Catholic church has lost sight of what it was set up to a...

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"Mutiny on the Spoof"' as writers jump ship for Christmas!

Funny story: "Mutiny on the Spoof"' as writers jump ship for Christmas!

There has been a Christmas "Mutiny on the Spoof" as writers jump ship after being chained to their computers all year. Taskmaster and evil captain, Mark Horatio-Hornblower (not in a gay way) attempted to thwart the mutiny, but was left legless after...

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Arne Duncan Axes Mississippi and Louisiana: Fourth Grade Reading Proficiency Soars

A provision in the much maligned No Child Left Behind Act has helped Arne Duncan, United States Secretary of Education, succeed where Jesus Christ failed. What is particularly remarkable is that Duncan's success came without 140 mile per hour winds,...

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Prince Phillip in Greek Tragedy

HRH Prince Phillip, husband of HM the Queen, has barricaded himself into Papworth hospital and is refusing to leave and return to festivities at Sandringham. Despite visits form all four royal; children he remains steadfast in his desire to escape a...

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Negative Numbers Hold Kids Back, by sharing positive things into negative parts

The Department of Education has released a consultation green paper asking educationalists and teachers to consider the possibility chopping negative numbers from the national maths syllabus. Despite years of negatives emerging through simple "take a...

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Chelsea Players To Show 'Support' For John Terry By Wearing T-Shirts

Funny story: Chelsea Players To Show 'Support' For John Terry By Wearing T-Shirts

Chelsea players have voted unanimously to wear T-shirts to show their support for team captain John Terry over the current allegations of racism against him. The shirts will show the simple but succinct message: "John Terry Is A Cake". The Blue...

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Celebrations as Apple launches innovative 'IDeath'

Funny story: Celebrations as Apple launches innovative 'IDeath'

It was champagne all round as the sales team of the Apple Company uncorked a bottle celebrating the launch of its revolutionary new product the IDeath. Following the release of previous successes ITunes and IPod, this latest innovation attempts to br...

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Thieves nick Trafalgar Square Christmas tree!

Funny story: Thieves nick Trafalgar Square Christmas tree!

Trafalgar Square, London: In an astonishing blitz-attack thieves nicked the huge Norwegian Christmas Tree standing in Trafalger Square. It was last seen speeding towards the M25 on the back of a low-loader and then disappeared behind a motorway lay-b...

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Nottingham News for W/E 24 Dec 2011 - with comments

Funny story: Nottingham News for W/E 24 Dec 2011 - with comments

19 Dec 2011: Nottingham Police launch a crackdown after increase in burglaries Category: Crime 'Nottingham Evening Post' Police have launched a crackdown on burglaries after a rise in offences in Nottingham. In October, Home Office National statistics from June 2010 to June 2011 showed that the number of burglaries had fallen. They fell by 32% or nearly 3,000 fewer victims. But in October...

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Latest terror threat from midgets posing as kindergarten students

Funny story: Latest terror threat from midgets posing as kindergarten students

Emmaus, PA - A bevy of emergency vehicles, on the triangle at 11 A.M today, are responding to a terror incident at the 6th Street Elementary School in Emmaus. Kindergarten students, ranging in ages from five to seven (repeaters) are lined up against...

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Congress to reinvent itself as a reality TV show to balance the budget

Funny story: Congress to reinvent itself as a reality TV show to balance the budget

Washington DC - Our mole in the Ways and Means committee reports that the rules of parliamentary procedure are to go the way of the dodo bird and the Bill of Rights. Tough economic times dictate that the government reinvent itself in a form that w...

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"Imminent Threat Of Terrorists Posing As TSA and DHS Personnel," CIA says

Funny story: "Imminent Threat Of Terrorists Posing As TSA and DHS Personnel," CIA says

President Obama was informed yesterday about definite threats to the homeland from terrorists posing as TSA, DHS or other government officials. There was also specific intelligence about a female terrorist, a lookalike of DHS Secretary Janet Napolita...

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Pilot for new TV show "Methbusters" ends in disaster

Funny story: Pilot for new TV show "Methbusters" ends in disaster

New York, NY - The fire department was called to quell street celebrations here after the live television audience of the pilot for the new reality TV show, "Methbusters", was accidentally exposed to massive amounts of crystal meth, according to anon...

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Queen reveals truth about hubby

Funny story: Queen reveals truth about hubby

Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh and established racist, was recently admitted to hospital with complaints of chest-pains. Though at first it appears as a standard symptom for someone his age the Queen has revealed information that implies they may...

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Kim Kardashian Says She's Been Secretly Fantasizing Doing The Horizontal Hokey Pokey With Ex-Boyfriend Reggie Bush of The Miami Dolphins

Funny story: Kim Kardashian Says She's Been Secretly Fantasizing Doing The Horizontal Hokey Pokey With Ex-Boyfriend Reggie Bush of The Miami Dolphins

BEVERLY HILLS - Kim Kardashian was getting her nails done at the Haven of Hair Salon when she was asked how she was holding up with the circus spectacle of her divorce from NBA player Kris Humphries. Kim replied that she has really taken it hard,...

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A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Six

Funny story: A True Diary of Woe - Part Thirty-Six

A diary of one man's utter failure, depression, frustration, cock-ups, and impecuniousness, starting in August 1947 Chapter 66 - Christmas 1955 The first Christmas I can remember after Mater had hopped it, leaving me and Dad in peace. Dad being Dad, and not inclined to spend money unless it was absolutely vital, did get me a few Christmas presents though. A packet of the new fire-lighte...

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White House to Become a Bed and Breakfast

Funny story: White House to Become a Bed and Breakfast

Washington DC: White House Press Secretary Carney announced that President Obama and the First Lady will be converting the White House to a Bed and Breakfast (B&B) for millionaires in 2012. President Obama had hoped to tax US millionaires to r...

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Katie Price to undergo world's first human head transplant

Funny story: Katie Price to undergo world's first human head transplant

So exclusive, it is exclusively exclusive, news reaches us that human blow up doll, Katie Price is set to undergo the world's first total head transplant. An aficionado of cosmetic surgery, Ms. Price has become a little bored of the more popular s...

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