Spencer Pratt To Release Scandalous Sex Tape of Him and Heidi Montag
UNIVERSAL CITY, California - Spencer Pratt, who was married to Heidi Montag for 15 months, has announced that he is shopping around a sex tape that he made of himself and his then wife Heidi "The Plastic Woman" Montag. Pratt said that the tape is...
Read full storyGossip websites and paparazzi ready to lash out on Miley Cyrus after 18th b-day!
Popular actress and singer(?), Miley Cyrus, will probably have to deal with hell from Gossip sites and paparazzi after her 18th birthday. On November 23rd, Miley will be turning 18 and after that there will be probably a big convention on ways to...
Read full storyAshley Tisdale Suffers Chipped Tooth in Hog Jaw, Arkansas Karaoke Bar Melee
HOG JAW, Arkansas -- Something sure did happen Wednesday night at Laverne Langford's Double Diamond Karaoke Bar near Hog Jaw, Arkansas, but just exactly what that was depends on who you're talking to. 25-year-old Ashley Tisdale told a police offic...
Read full storySperm-lover Rev. Frankie Graham can't help obsessing about Obama's father's 'seed'
Ask any atheist what belief in imaginary and non-existent gods means and to a (wo)man they will say: "Religion has been the curse of mankind." Depending on what one believes in this is either the wisest assessment of why men behave as they do...
Read full storyHog Jaw Ferret Leggin Champion Challenges the All-UK Champ to Ten-Hour Death Match
HOG JAW, ARKANSAS (ABSNN) -- Stan Stilldamnya, Hog Jaw, Arkansas' answer to the legendary Reg Mellior, former world record holder in Ferret Legging, issued a sharp challenge to the All-England, Scotland and Wales Ferret Leggin "pansies." "Ain't...
Read full storyObama a Muslim? Poll shows 5 out of 5 Americans don't know what Obama looks like and identify his photo as that of "Harry Belafonte's lovechild"
Is he or isn't he? - Numerous polls conducted across America in the past 2 days have thrown up all sorts of figures. Leading the pack is the "Birther" issue where right-wing crackpots who believe babies are found under cabbage bushes or delivere...
Read full storyEmma Watson's pussy shot, mistaken for giant rat.
Giant rats - of the kind terrorising an estate in West Yorkshire and Lincoln, have now been found in Oxfordshire. Pest firm Rent-to-kill was called to Oxford after residents complained about a pair of giant rodents stalking the grounds at night, a...
Read full storyShakira Admits To Stretch Marks Scandal
BARCELONA, Spain - Colombian belly dancer and singer Shakira performed her infamous song and dance routine at Barcelona's Running of The Bulls Convention Center. After her two hour performance, the South American firecracker, who says that she los...
Read full storyVampire Obama Sucks Glenn Beck's Blood
NEW CANAAN, Connecticut -- Officials are baffled by startling images that appear to confirm Glenn Beck's theory that President Obama is in fact a bloodsucking vampire. According to a statement released by the Fairfield County Sheriff's Department,...
Read full storyMarmite in a jar. Royal Glums to exile Andy and Sarah to Falklands to "conduct business away from prying media". Princess Di offers advice from the beyond
"Fergie facing bankruptcy" - "Andrew must answer questions" Media headlines are screaming for answers to yet another sordid £500,000 Fergie saga coupled with the dubious role played by Randy Andy - Britain's "roving" Trade Ambassador. Suddenly...
Read full story30 Sadist spectator's entertainment, of watching bulls being destroyed, ends with them being hurt!
A bullring, Spain: Amid intense debate in Spain over the centuries-old tradition of bullfighting, where the northeastern region of Catalonia last month became the first part of mainland Spain to ban the practice, 30 Sadist Spectators were hurt at a...
Read full storyCarrie Underwood's Honeymoon Marital Shocker - She Wants To Live In Nashville and Hubby Wants To Live In Ottawa
NASHVILLE - Carrie Underwood, one of the most popular country music singers of modern times, sat in her brand new spacious living room floor rearranging the lamp end tables. She looked happy but deep down inside she was as sad as a catfish in a We...
Read full storyHog Jaw Bikers head to Port Dover for Friday 13th August 'rally'.
Residents of Hog Jaw got news that a bikers' rally has been held in Port Dover, Ontario every Friday 13th since 1982. This surely WAS news to them and bikers from Hog Jaw, Arkansas, gathered together with other bikers from nearby Leaky Cock County and Drippy Dick Springs at one of their favourite 'watering holes',The Hog Jaw Sports Bar...or as Jimmy Bob Scrotum of Leaky Cock County prefers to c...
Read full storyFrog-marched by US Pak finally 'accepts' India flood aid. Responds by sending India PM suspicious 'basket of mangoes'
There seems to be no end to Paki hubris and stupidity. At yesterday's Oscar-losing performance at the UN Pak's top buffoon-diplomat jawed his way through threats of: "If you don't help us the extremists will take over" - to expressions of incred...
Read full storyTaylor Momsen Performs in England and Confesses Why She Likes To Perform In Her Underwear
ISLINGTON, England - America's "Gossip Girl" Taylor Momsen performed before a sell out crowd on a smoke filled stage in Islington's O2 Academy. Taylor the lead singer with the band The Pretty Reckless, not to be confused with Norway's The Reckless...
Read full storyHate Illustrated Magazine Has Just Named Mel Gibson and Dr. Laura Schlessinger As The Most Hated Man And Woman In America
CHICAGO - The highly reputable magazine Hate Illustrated has just announced that it is naming Mel "From Hell" Gibson and Dr. Laura "From Hell" Schlessinger as August's most hated man and woman in America. Magazine Editor-in-Chief Allison Phoebe Pa...
Read full storyTop 3 Blockbuster sequels never made
The Spoof is pleased to bring to you three film sequels that spent time in the pipelines but never managed to materialise... Titanic 2 Plot Jack was last seen slipping beneath the waves at the end of the first film. However, in the sequel, it would be revealed that Jack washed up on an iceberg where he survived for two weeks. After being picked up by a fishing boat and taken (finally) to...
Read full storyPresident Off To Martha's Vineyard To Swim In Shitty Water
After taking a plunge into the oil soaked waters of the Gulf of Mexico with his youngest daughter two weeks ago, to show that the water is safe, President Obama made a quick trip to Martha's Vineyard today. Since the First Family is getting ready...
Read full storyAnswer to drug abuse among youths found, Ban youth, not drugs.
Being young will be banned immediately for 12 months under new Home Office powers to halt the escalating use of drugs among young people. Tougher penalties will be brought in, with youths facing 14 years in prison and an unlimited fine if they are...
Read full storyBrave father saves tiger from girl
A fully grown female Bengal Tiger had a lucky escape after a 7year old girl fell into its enclosure yesterday at Berlin Zoo, Germany. The disobedient child climbed a large fence surrounding the Tiger enclosure, dropped into the trees and clambere...
Read full storyDumped Beckham signs up for Subbuteo Squad
One-time darling of the England football team David Beckham has bounced back from his humiliating sacking by failed Italian manager Fabio Capello . He has signed a 3-year contract to play for the Subbuteo squad. Beckham will need minor adjustments...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson Not Named 'Sexiest Man Alive' By GCHQ Magazine
Twilight heart throb Robert Pattinson, who plays vampire Edward Cullen in the Twilight saga of movies may have been voted the sexiest man alive by teen readers of several magazines, but GCHQ Magazine was not one of them. The editor of GCHQ Magazin...
Read full storyAunty sends Top Gear's Stig to Guantanamo Bay, Eastenders cast next?
The BBC is facing a human rights battle with "The Stig", the mystery stunt driver on Top Gear, in an effort to stop him disclosing his identity. The corporation is bringing legal action to prevent him writing an autobiography - a move which would...
Read full storyEdgar Davids Reluctantly Signs For Crystal Palace
The former Holland international midfielder Edgar Davids has tonight reluctantly joined the Championship club Crystal Palace on a pay-as-you-play deal, but he's not particularly happy about it. Davids, 37, left Ajax in 2008, and has been without a...
Read full storyIsle Of Wight News - Dozens Named And Shamed
Ryde, Isle of Wight - Dozens of people were today named and shamed by Mrs Elsie Bickerstaff of Jockey Mount, Ryde. It has not been clearly ascertained at this point exactly what the people who Mrs Bickerstaff named were being shamed about, as she...
Read full story1 in 5 Americans believe Obama is Osama Bin Laden
WASHINGTON: Americans are increasingly convinced that President Barrack Obama is in fact Osama Bin Laden. Nearly one in five or 18% of those polled were sure that the President is the leader of Al Qaeda. 40% knew he wasn't. Another 10% said they d...
Read full storyMiss Nude Universe contestants stage nude catfight telethon to raise flood-aid. Phone lines now open! Ban Ki Moon thrilled to bits with amount raised
With cries of "Our money is as good as anybody's money", 152 Miss Nude Universe contestants tumbled and rumbled, grabbed and groaned, pulled and tugged , huffed and puffed and contorted their way to the World's biggest flood-aid fund-raiser. The t...
Read full storyJesse James Asks Kat Von D to Ink Sandra Bullock on His Back
It's confirmed. Jesse James is either brain dead or just oblivious to what women want these days. Sources close to Kat von D claims he may only be dating her for her mad tattoo skills and nothing more. Evidence of this came this week when it is repor...
Read full storyWhite House: "Obama Is Christian, Prays Daily"
White House press secretary Robert Gibbs insisted on Thursday that President Barack Hussein Obama is a Christian who prays daily, responding to growing doubts about the president's religion. Gibbs made the statement after a poll showed that 18 per...
Read full storyCongress Should Consider 35 mph National Speed Limit Law
Gasoline prices have increased greatly over the last several years. High fuel prices have focused attention on conservation. Congress previously used a national speed limit as an approach to conserve fuel when, in 1974, it legislated a national 55 mi...
Read full storySpurs shafted by Young Boys of Bern
Young Boys of Bern delivered a stiff example to Spurs mid week who initially thought they could sneak a quick result away from home. Spur's Tom Huddleston admitted today that they were left exposed at the back and therefore well and truly shafted by...
Read full storyIf you want help take the cure
Coffee drinkers throughout the UK are running scared at the news that they may be refused help if they don't agree to drink decaffeinated coffee. 'I'm dependent on this drug' said business man Edgar Shott 'I have to have my caffeine or I go banana...
Read full storyAston Villa Goalkeeper Injured By Kitchen Sink
UEFA have requested a report from the referee of Thursday's Europa League qualifier between Rapid Vienna and Aston Villa before they decide whether they will take any action after Villa goalkeeper Brad Guzon was injured by a kitchen sink that was thr...
Read full storyASBOs to be discontinued
At long last ASBO effectiveness has been questioned. Findings from studies indicate that a high percentage of individuals having 'ASBOs slapped on them', have been found to be suffering from mental illnesses, learning difficulties and many were foun...
Read full storyBaby joy as Chelsea Clinton vows to name firstborn Vlad 'after her DNA Pa in the Kremlin!'
Washington AC/DC - (Reuterus): Chelsea Putin and her new husband Marc Lewinsky-Mezvinsky are over the moon. A wedding night bullseye shot saw one of her sunny-side-up Dubya (sic) yolkers fertilised by brave bridegroom Marc! OK, he had to be gag...
Read full storyLockerby bomber definitely ill says Scottish Leader
Alex Salmond, the Scottish First Minister confirmed today how he personally witnessed how ill Megrahi was before they let him loose. Salmond the Scott equivalent of John Prescott said 'Megrahi looked well rough when I saw him in his cell.' He ad...
Read full storyDefamation League Proposed by Palin
In a Twitter post late Thursday Sarah Palin praised Laura Schlessinger, defended her use of the "N" word, and proposed a new organization to be named, The Defamation League. "It is a first amendment issue," states Palin in her post. "Political correc...
Read full storyHog Jaw Hog Calling Champion Trademarks "Sooooey" Call
Thought to be an open source and common calling technique for farmers across America, the legendary "Sooooey Pig Pig Pig" call was finally trademarked by regional hog calling champion, Emmett Thickley. The only man in Arkansas without opposable th...
Read full storyLetter to the Editor of The Spoof - written by Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones of Cargo Fleet Middlesbrough
Dear mister editor of the Spoof. We are riting to let you know how we both luv the Spoof and all the luvly riters. We are in the libary at Berwick Hills and the lass who werks 'ere keeps comin' to 'elp us with the computer. We don't get the papers coz they can be ded borin' but wen our lad told us we cud use the computer in the libary, we star'ed reeding your paper. We are thinkin' of...
Read full storySuBo fanatics make an arrest!
Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies have today announced that they've made an arrest after their favourite meeting place was allegedly infiltrated by evil forces. "We are pleased to announce that after an extensive, half-hearted, slips...
Read full storyBull mauls crowd in, "Unprovoked attack."
A bull has injured over 14 and a half people during a bullfight in the Spanish Capital, Madrid. One of the victims was revealed as a 78year old woman who is suffering from, "deep buttock horning injuries." The incident happened yesterday during o...
Read full storyRt Rev Bishop of FootBalls: "Eagle and Jackass Pub, reporting Liverpool FC transfer and takeover gossip!"
This is Anfield, Liverpool: Takeover frenzy has hit Liverpool FC, with reporters going down to the Eagle and Jackass Pub, picking out a drunk, and quoting him as a "source close to the negotiations...". One day a headline reads, "Liverpool to be...
Read full storyCheryl Cole pregnant by Piers Morgan?
It has been announced to the press, by me, since I've just made it up, that X-Factor Judge, Cheryl Cole and Britain's Got Talent Judge, Piers Morgan are expecting a child together. It is alleged that the two met several months ago, during one of...
Read full storyDentists Slam Ugly Betty's Braces
Orthodontists are sick to the back teeth of patients refusing to wear dental braces - all thanks to Ugly Betty! TV's eccentrically-clad magazine tyro Betty Suarez is famous for her lack of fashion sense, her hair - and, of course, her braces. B...
Read full storyThe future is ours
Young enthusiastic people are celebrating their exam results and their future at the great academic institutions of the country. It makes you feel so good to see their eager faces full of confidence in the future. There may be a few who fall by th...
Read full storyChanging Room Knee's-Up For Miserable Footballers
Premier League changing rooms will soon echo to the sound of nursery rhymes and other happy songs in a bid to cheer up depressed professional footballers. The news follows revelations by Stoke City striker Dave Kitson that players were being made...
Read full storyBabies' Butts Art Exhibit Banned at Hog Jaw Contemporary Art Museum
Bubba Larson, Hog Jaw's only contemporary artist, has had another of his exhibits banned from the Hog Jaw Contemporary Art Museum after Edna Farkle complained that his Babies' Butts Photo Splay was not appropriate for all ages. Edna is especially ups...
Read full storyAmerican Airlines Security Threat Deemed "Non-credible" By Men Travelling With Foreign Passports, holding One-Way Tickets, Without Luggage.
"Please, go about your business," requested two men on-board an American Airlines plane in San Francisco today. "Our threat against this airplane is non-credible. Thank you, come again." So began Flight 24, bound for New York's JFK Airport.Did you...
Read full storyProms: Prom 45 Review
Mozart - Der Schauspieldirektor, overture Liszt - Piano Concerto No 1 Rimsky-Korsakov - Scheherazade Dillon - La Navette Tchaikovsky - Symphony No 2, "Little Russian" Pierre Noxious writes: Let's be clear about this - I love Scheherazade (that's how it's spelled on my favourite recording - Muti and the Philadelphia - so I'm sticking to it). In fact Rimsky-Korsakov is my favourite compose...
Read full storyGovt to ban painful practice of ball-clamping
The painful practice of ball-clamping, whereby if somebody loiters in the same spot for more than an hour his testicles are clamped and he must pay a fee to have them released, is to be banned. The practice sprung up during the 1990s, as councils...
Read full storyBlind Muslim student who accidentally used transparent shower curtain as niqab to receive 50 spankings
Brenda Begum has apologised to the Muslim community for walking round the streets of Bradford wearing a see-through shower curtain as a niqab. The 25 year old convert, whose faux pas revealed she's quite a looker, took a bus to the university, whe...
Read full storyMellowed Out Bears on Canadian Pot Farm No Danger to Law Enforcement Officers
Deep in the Canadian woods, law enforcement officials were checking out complaints by neighbors that a woman living there was acting a bit strange. Upon entering the property, the officers upwards of a thousand pot plants growing. Even more alarming...
Read full storyBritney Spears and Hayden Panettiere to Star in "Lesbian Cheerleaders of The NFL"
LOS ANGELES - The Duffy Bayou-Gauche production of Lesbian Cheerleaders of The NFL will be in theaters one week before the start of this year's NFL season. Bayou-Gauche said that he worked for three years to secure the rights for the motion pictur...
Read full storyCameron Diaz Drops A Bombshell: She Has Not Had Sex In Three Years
VENICE BEACH - Cameron Diaz who recently starred with Tom Cruise in Knight and Day revealed quite a bombshell to a reporter for Rolling Stone Magazine. Cameron said that she is not the middle aged sexpot that a lot of people think she is. Everyone...
Read full storyProsecutor Claims Snooki Annoying On and Off Screen
The New Jersey Prosecutor who brought charges of disorderly conduct and creating a public nuisance against Snooki Polizzi for her antics on a beach in July, has now added a third charge of annoying behavior to her rap sheet. Snooki's attorney, upo...
Read full storyThe Spoof Rating System Changes from Stars to Thumbs Up, Ousted Stars Protest
The UK headquarters of The Spoof was the scene of a major protest yesterday. Ever since The Spoof ratings system was changed -- having readers rate stories with thumbs up rather than stars -- the stars had been quietly fuming. They had been f...
Read full storyHog Jaw Cock Fights Cancelled Due to "Damned Women!"
HOG JAW, ARKANSAS (ABSNN) -- Male frustration mounted this evening over the cancellation of the weekly Cock Fight at Arnold Dubby's farm. The weekly fights have never been cancelled because the Hog Jaw Ladies' Sewing Circle, Elvis Séance and Vibrato...
Read full storyGeorge Michael hurt by Gorilla
London: There's no truth whatsoever in the stories that George Michael was chased by a gay anaconda when he visited the men's restrooms in a pub in Liverpool last night, say the star's managers. The pop-star has been the subject of weird stories r...
Read full storyCheryl Cole and Derek Hough Go To Disneyland and Cheryl Gets Goosed by Goofy
ANAHEIM - Cheryl Cole and her boyfriend Derek Hough spent an afternoon at Disneyland and had a great time. The gorgeously sexy looking Cheryl remarked at how many different attractions the amusement park had. A little six-year-old fan went up to h...
Read full storyAdam Lambert Gives Birth To The Concert Concept of Tongue Diving
PROVIDENCE, Rhode Island - Modern day pop music icon Adam Lambert traveled to the smallest state in the nation and gave birth to a brand new concert concept which he calls LTD, or Lambert's Tongue Diving. As he sang his hit song "If I Had You And...
Read full storyAmerican Melting Pot's boiling over
New York: Blame it on the Founding Fathers, America The Beautiful is gonna be pockmarked with minarets, just because they lacked the foresightedness to see beyond the Pacific, said visionary and author Kluxie Mendonca. "Why blame Obama or the May...
Read full storyWin one get one free, latest CWG offer from India
New Delhi: It's a new introductory offer for the Commonwealth games (CWG). The Indian Sports Department and co-organizers of the biggest sports bash in Blighty has come up with an offer that they think athletes cannot refuse. "Every foreign athlet...
Read full storyWith Aerosmith Popularity Waning, Steven Tyler and Joe Perry Add Three Stooges Act
The last couple of weeks have seen Joe Perry and Steven Tyler of Aerosmith smacking each other around, the latest smack by Joe at Steven sent Steven into the crowd. A year earlier, the same kind of unnecessary roughness sent Steven Perry to the hospi...
Read full storyLisa Marie Presley Seeing Ghosts!
The police in Memphis, Tennessee received their nightly call from Lisa Marie Presley when she's not on the road. "She calls us every single night she's at the family home there at Graceland, saying she just saw a ghost of Lisa Marie Presley", stat...
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