It has been announced to the press, by me, since I've just made it up, that X-Factor Judge, Cheryl Cole and Britain's Got Talent Judge, Piers Morgan are expecting a child together.
It is alleged that the two met several months ago, during one of Simon Cowell's famous, "Tupperware Parties" and quickly became infatuated with one another.
"The relationship moved fairly quickly... fairly quickly upstairs to be honest..." said an anonymous source from Ms. Cole's circle, "She liked his fluffy hair and hard-to-get attitude... I think it probably had something to do with getting revenge on Ashley too. I can't think of a better revenge than showing you'll pretty much sleep with any old pig."
Ashley Cole has declined to comment on the situation.
Ms. Cole was admitted to hospital last month, "shaking and sweating, with Malaria-like symptoms."
It can now be revealed however, that Cheryl wasn't suffering from Malaria at all, she was simply, "knocked sick" after discovering the true identity of her baby's father.
"It took her a long time to get over." said the source, "She kept saying, "Imagine my legs and his hair on them!" over and over. She's fine with it now though. She's going to carry on as normal with her X-Factor work."
It doesn't look as if "happy families" is on the cards for Cheryl just yet, as Piers is unlikely to remain involved in the relationship. Piers told a friend he found the Geordie girl, "Mildly irritating"
Betting shops are already offering odds on the potential name of Ms. Cole's child with "Old King" at 7/1, "Joel" 4/1 and "Beryl." the favourite at 3/1.
