This is Anfield, Liverpool: Takeover frenzy has hit Liverpool FC, with reporters going down to the Eagle and Jackass Pub, picking out a drunk, and quoting him as a "source close to the negotiations...".
One day a headline reads, "Liverpool to be bought by China!", the next day "Liverpool to be Sold to Some Croney from Syria!", the next "No One at Liverpool FC Can Get Their Story Straight!"
Jamie Carragher has recently got into the act about Joe Cole ascending to stand atop the steps to Olympus;
"Joe has lifted the whole city. It is not just on the pitch or in the dressing room, it is the entire place. He is staying right in the centre of town and people are wishing him well all the time, so he is starting to realise just how big this club is."
"He is like a god in the city already and he has only played a game and a half. He is going to be a major asset for us.
"He has already got the fans onside and he was talking before about how big a game this was for him, which is quite a statement given the games he's played for England in World Cups and for Chelsea."
As for Joe Cole, in describing Liverpool as "the biggest in the country", because when Joe Cole knew Liverpool were interested, "...it was a no-brainer because they are the biggest club in the country."
Cole revealed the memory of playing at Anfield for Chelsea in the 2005 Champions League semi-final, which Liverpool won before going on to lift the European Cup in Istanbul, clinched the deal for him.
As Joe Cole said, "I tried to take everything out of the equation, take the financial and location side out of it and just thought in football terms," said the England midfielder, who has signed a four-year contract.
"I thought about the Champions League semi-final when I ran on the field and the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. I was thinking about playing in that atmosphere every week - that swung it for me."
Joe Cole has insisted his move to Liverpool was not motivated by money - he simply wanted to join 'the biggest club in the country'. As Joe said, "I chose Liverpool transfer for love, not money." Cole's reported £90,000-a-week wage demands were not met by Chelsea.
Many have asked, is Joe Cole the new David Beckham? Exactly what has done his career, to justify all this gushing talk about him? When Capello fell to pressure and and played Joe Cole in a Tommy Cooper's England formation against Slovenia, Joe Cole was as dire as the rest of them.
Rt Rev Bishop of FootBalls, has even given a brief Sermon;
"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to worship the one true God, our cockney Lord, Joe Cole. Please give generously to pay his meagre wage."
"Modern English football is 'multi poisoned', give mercy upon it."
"Dodgy Football Owners. Carpetbaggers and gun runners, forgive them all."
"Too many footbal matches, it is greed."
"Inflated wages. Yaya Toure is reputed to earn £200,000 a week. John Terry, £160,0000."
"Top footbal clubs run horrific debts, Manchester United to the tune of 677 million,"
"As a fan of over forty years, I, Rt Rev Bishop of FootBalls, feel let down, betrayed."
