Victor Nicholas & Erskin Quint Discover the Second Source of the Great Bumbogoola River - Part The Three
Just as the audience at the exclusive Threadbare Street Bogus Officers Club finished gasping with awe after Erskin Quint of the newly formed Adventurer's Club extemporized on his journey with Victor Nicholas to the Ufganufgwa Interior in search of the source of the Great Green Bumbogoola River of Eastern Nbomoland they were treated to yet another tale of adventure by Victor Nicholas regarding the...
Read full storyThe Scandal-Ridden TV Reality Show "Models of The Runway" Is Cancelled
NEW YORK CITY - Insiders are stating that The Lifelong Channel modeling show Models of The Runway has been cancelled. The shows executive producer Slizza Huffnagle-Filterfield stated that from the very beginning the show was plagued with lots of prob...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Randy "The Dawg" Jackson Gives Crystal Bowersox A Standing Ovation
HOLLYWOOD - It does not happen very often, one of the American Idol judges was so moved by the excellent performance of Crystal Bowersox that he gave the Ohio singer a standing ovation. Randy Jackson, no relation to Michael, Jesse, or Andrew, said...
Read full storySusan Boyle to appear at the Edinburgh International Festival
Scottish singer, Susan Boyle is set to appear at the world famous Edinburgh International Festival in August. She has turned down the opulence of the Usher Hall to appear, nightly, on stage at the Princes Street Gardens. The singer has expressed a...
Read full storyThe Word on The Street is That American Idol's Mike Lynche is Gary Coleman's Long Lost Son
HOLLYWOOD - A reliable source, but one who wishes to remain totally anonymous, has stated that this year's gigantic black contestant, Michael Lynche, is in actuality actor Gary Coleman's long lost son Mike Coleman. The unnamed source said that he...
Read full storyBeing Stupid Hurts Your Brain: Studies link dumb thinking with declining mental faculties
Being stupid could make you lose your mind, recent research suggests. One recent long-term study found that really dumb people experience a much more pronounced and rapid decline in brain functions, writes Ima Smartie at the New York Times. Another f...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Crystal Bowersox Breaks Down During Her Live Performance
HOLLYWOOD - The pressure of being the best contestant of this years American Idol bunch has finally gotten to the group's leading singer. Crystal Bowersox, a 24-year-old blonde dreadlocked mom from Elliston, Ohio had not quite finished singing her...
Read full storyVolcano ash saves Earth from enslavement
The volcano ash that has been terrorizing Europe for the past week turned out be our savior. According to NASA, an alien fleet of battleships was crossing the North-Atlantic ocean on their way to North America, when they all suddenly crashed in the o...
Read full storyJon Gosselin Goes In To Get His 3-Inch Penis Augmented
BEVERLY HILLS - Jon Gosselin of the cancelled reality show Jon and Kate Plus 8, has revealed that he has decided to go in to have his little bitty 3-inch pecker enhanced. Jon said that he really and truly felt betrayed when his ex-girlfriend, Hail...
Read full storyLorry driver seen over-taking safely!
There were amazing scenes on the M4 yesterday immediately after Steady Eddie, HGV driver for only a week, succeeded in over-taking another HGV inside 30 seconds and without holding up any other drivers. This amazing and unheard of occurrence was...
Read full storyDoubt cast on Donner Party cannibalism; remains of Chinese takeout at Alder Creek campsite
The infamous Donner Party, which legend says resorted to cannibalism after being stranded in the Sierra Nevada in 1846-47, may not have eaten each other after all, surviving instead on eggrolls and Moo Goo Gai Pan, new research indicates. A study...
Read full storyChurch to be rebranded to be more politically correct
Concerned by falling attendances and worried that this may be related to its paternalistic approach, the church has decided to change certain aspects of their approach to make them more politically correct in an attempt to win over modern day feminis...
Read full storyUS Treasury Unveils Redesigned $100 Bill
Standing proudly about as if they had done something, US Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner, Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke, Treasurer of the US Rosie Rios, and US Secret Service Deputy Director Keith Prewitt, today unveiled America's newest...
Read full storyThe Icelandic masterplan
Henrik and Olaf (not their real names to protect anonymity) are two vulcanologists, geologists, and economists who are extremely well educated and have taken advantage of every uni and college course Iceland and Denmark has on offer. They did not hav...
Read full storyAshcroft seen in Ash cloud
A strange sighting happened today when A homeless Icelandic man claimed he saw Former Attorney General John Ashcroft floating within the volcanic ash cloud hovering over Europe making an complete ass clown of himself. He said he was singing a cov...
Read full storyAirlines to Seek Compensation from "Chicken" Governments
The heads of major airlines across the globe were united in their attack on the European air safety chiefs, as "not making money" finally overcame their initial cautious response to the cloud of volcanic ash. Wee Willie Walsh, one time leprechaun...
Read full storyKate Garraway Rushed To Hospital After Being Told Adrian Chiles Was Joining GMTV
GMTV presenter Kate Garraway has been rushed to hospital following being told that Adrian Chiles was joining the GMTV team. One ITV insider said "She suddenly went very pale, cried out 'No!' and began to vomit uncontrollably. We called an ambulance s...
Read full storySir Alex Ferguson Names Gordon Brown As His Successor
Sir Alex Ferguson has finally announced the name of the man he wants to replace him at Manchester United. Typically, Fergie has gone for a fellow Scot. Gordon Brown may seem like a surprise choice to many, but Sir Alex is certain that such an appoint...
Read full storyFellas, Check Those Tattoos, Chinese May Have Last Laugh
More and more stories are coming out of small tattoo parlors in every China Town from New York to San Francisco about authentic Chinese tattoo artists who have recently decided to have a little fun with what they perceive as the "gullible and boastfu...
Read full storyDummy's guide to being a family court judge part 2
Continuing our undercover investigations into the dark and seemy world of family law, here is another excerpt from the book, the Dummy's guide to being a family court judge, given to all solicitors/barristers and magistrates about to embark on their first sitting in that Alice in Wonderland world of the Family Courts... Definitions - to make your life a bit easier, we have defined some of the c...
Read full story"England Will Win World Cup" Claims Carol Vorderman
Maths genius Carol Vorderman has unveiled a mathematical formula that proves that England will win the next world cup. Vorderman studied form and past tournaments in a bid to uncover the winner. "If you take all the facts into account the answer i...
Read full storyDavid Hasselhoff to Reprise Old Roles in 'The Hung and the Breathless'!
Hollywood embraced recycling today when it was announced David Hasselhoff agreed to headline the new cable soap opera 'The Hung and the Breathless.' Hasselhoff is best remembered by reviving the lifeguard series 'Pamwatch' and starring in the sci...
Read full storyAbner and Annie visit Scotland
Abner and Annie are from Illinois and they love to travel. They have come to Scotland to visit the home town of Miss Susan Boyle, Annie's heroine. Abner is a great reader and has asked his Scottish friend, Jimmy Broon to show them round, starting...
Read full storyIndian "Sex Guru" is arrested for being "obscene" as under-age prostitutes Pimps are declared "clean"
Indian Guru, Nithyananda Swami, has been arrested and dumped in the "Black Hole of Calcutta" for being obscene. He was filmed "bunking" it off with a couple of female mistresses and his ashram hasn't been the same since. Disgusted followers of...
Read full storySusan Boyle autobiography news has the fanatics flapping
News of a Susan Boyle autobiography, ghost written, has sent the fanatics into a flurry of file searching. An advertisement, on a fansite, for any and all information on the singers rise to fame, has created a maelstrom of one-upmanship. One Ca...
Read full storyDummy's guide to being a family court judge
This intrepid under-cover reporter has secretly obtained a copy of the 'Dummy's guide to being a family court judge'. This is supplied to all solicitors and barristers when they offer to do one day a week as a deputy district judge at their local county court. It is also supplied to the volunteer magistrates before they sit on family cases in the magistrates court. Excerpts include: a)...
Read full storySusan Boyle: the fairytale
Once upon a time there was an ugly duckling, sorry I am looking at the wrong fairytale. There once was a simple unemployed , woman who claimed she had never been kissed, called Susan Boyle, rather ordinary looking, a bit eccentric, maybe but you would not take any notice of her in a crowd until the day she appeared in front of three plonkers on a talent show called Britain's Got Talent. She sto...
Read full storyA new campaigning organisation gets Labour Party backing
The Labour Party have publicly endorsed a new campaigning organisation called the Heterophobes Against Heterosexuals Army (HAHA) who have been targetting male-female couples who have been seen in public together without a chaperone. HAHA have bee...
Read full storyNHS near collapse
This undercover reporter has obtained documents showing that the NHS is near to collapse. Owing to the success of the pro-female recruitment campaign, 75% of trainee doctors are female. In a study recently published, however, it showed that femal...
Read full storyMagna Carta nobody gives a Rats Arse
The Magna Carta, is probably the greatest document in England's history regarding the protection of the peoples liberty. It restricts the right of monarchy to be unjust against ordinary citizens but also through its declaration of freedom makes it cl...
Read full storyTories accept that Fathers are important
David Cameron amazed seasoned news reporters by claiming that he realised that fathers were important. Following the release of Iain Duncan-Smith's report which indicated fatherless families were the overwhelming main cause of all the negatives i...
Read full storyLabour sue The Spoof for stealing their manifesto
In a coup for Spoof writers, this undercover reporter has heard that the Labour Party is planning on court action as a result of writers obtaining leaked documents pertaining to Labour Party proposals after the election. Spoof reporters have rece...
Read full storyMan City PR man has a very public meltdown!
At the beginning of the Premier League season, a huge debate was going on among football fans across the country. The question being considered was whether or not Man City would surpass United as the dominant football force in the city? A quick gl...
Read full storyLabour appoint FW De Klerk as Equalities adviser
Labour moved quickly to snap up Mr F W De Klerk to replace Harriet Harman as Deputy Prime Minister in order that she can run for PM against Gordon Brown after the election. Mr de Klerk will also take over her job in charge of Equalities Adviser.
Read full storyStaffs Uni enter BUCS 7s but leave Mary out
This year Staffordshire University Men's Rugby Union Stoke have competed a rare treble after winning the league, Midlands Cup and varsity against Keele. This is not bad for a university that two years ago were relegated into the lowest league in...
Read full storyMichael Parker Pen & The Your Going to Die Plan
Daytime television its a nightmare when it comes to the commercial break because your sure to see that ad with Michael Parkinson, or should that be Michael Parker Pen, because he offers you a free parker pen as you long as you give them money till th...
Read full storyHow a man's drinking Buddy became his stinking body
Alan Derrick hid the body of his friend for ten years after he died because he feared being evicted from his council flat. His friend Dennis Pring, apparently died ten years ago and Mr Derrick, hid the body under a sofa for all that time. Basil...
Read full storySamantha Cameron Better In Bed Than Alan Titchmarsh says Miriam Clegg
London - (Larkspur): A filthy rumor on the internet has compared politicians' wives' erotic skills in the mixed herbacious flower beds. Samantha Cameron and Miriam Clegg have both been pollinated by legendary TV horticultural pundit Alan Titchmars...
Read full storyPalin, God, Ahmadinejad and the Pope
Recent revelations seem to confirm that Sarah Palin now considers herself to be the hand of God in America. Reports of her belief that she was doing God's will in Alaskan politics has now been outdone by alleged comments made at the end of last...
Read full storyBody of Soldier killed at Culloden in 1746 found
The body of a soldier killed at Culloden, has been found at the sight of the massacre carried out by the butcher Duke of Cumberland, against the Highlanders. Although there was nothing left but bones around the skeletons neck was a name tag Camero...
Read full storySt George's Day comet hovers ominously over Windsor Castle
Windsor - (Order of the Gutter): Harbinger of death and totem of volcanic fiascos Comet C/1861 G1 Thatcher, source of the annual 16-26 April Lyrid meteor shower, has been spotted hovering menacingly over Windsor Castle's St George's Chapel. The 1...
Read full storyLabour to offer a Mens Minister
Finally bowing to criticism that Labour had a women's minister and no men's minister, Labour announced that as a sop to male voters that if any of the turkeys voted for Christmas, sorry Men voted for Labour, then they would make a new post reserved f...
Read full storyLabour admit 'failures' in Afghanistan
The Ministry of Defence will for the first time pay 'significant' compensation to the family of the dead servicewoman killed in Afghanistan. A commentator said: "It is a terrible tragedy to lose a daughter in these appalling circumstances and the...
Read full storyCSA to be renamed as Mother Support Agency
In order to further ensure the votes of women in general and single mothers in particular, Labour have announced plans to rename the failing child support agency with a more accurate title based on what it is ACTUALLY there for - Mother Support Agenc...
Read full storyDerek Acorah releases an album
World famous psychic Derek Achorah has released his first album of songs to an unsuspecting public. Acorah who hails from Liverpool, the home of the Beatles, the Lightning Seeds and Cilla Black, is following in a long tradition of TV celebrities s...
Read full storyDaVinci Invented the Star Jump
The mystery surrounding the Vitruvian Man, the iconic drawing by Leonardo DaVinci, which has baffled scientists and historians for centuries, has finally been solved. In a latest ground breaking study, Dr Benchpress, from the Institute of Ground B...
Read full storyFabrice Tourre 'is Bernard Madoff's son' - reports
New York - (Off-the-Wall-Street): Suspended Goldman Sachs bookie Fabrice Tourre 'is being scapegoated' after DNA swabs suggested he is likely to be Bernard 'Ponzi' Madoff's son. The London-based trader has had his business licence withdrawn by Cit...
Read full storyLabour extend plans to prevent crime by aborting potential criminals before birth
In order to appear tough on crime in the run up to the election, Labour plan to use further profiling to target resources on those most likely to commit crime in the future. In addition to plans to build another 100,000 places to lock men up inde...
Read full storyLib Dems extend parental leave to some fathers
Lib Dem manifesto proposals offer a tiny crumb of comfort to the huge numbers of misguided men who thought that they were a slightly safer haven than the other parties for their vote. WRONG! Lib Dems propose to share parental leave between parents...
Read full storyLabour proposes plans for new tax on men
Labour have announced that if elected they will introduce new taxes only on men. As part of their continuing wealth transfer from men to women, the incoming Labour government, which is desperate to fund the huge benefits bill for single mothers, w...
Read full storyHarriet Harman admits men do exist
Following recent reports that Harriet Harman is 'leader-in-waiting' to take over from Gordon Brown following the election, she has moved to quell suggestions that she will remove the few remaining rights men have, if elected. In an under-cover in...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson and Kristin Stewart Make Another Headline
Soon to be 50 and quite willing to admit he isn't too bright, urban hermit, part time Spoof writer and permanent curmudgeon, P.M. Wortham reveals that he has no freaking idea who Robert Pattinson or Kristin Stewart are, or why their names garner as m...
Read full storyThe Chuckle Brothers Children Conundrum
Children's entertainers The Chuckle Brothers, alias Paul & Barry Chuckle, have been on television, for twenty one years and they tour the country with their stage shows every year. Although their slapstick comedy is mainly for children some of...
Read full storyWorkington's new flood tightrope opens to daredevils
Motorists who faced an 18-mile detour after a Cumbrian town was split in two by flood waters can now use a £4.6m temporary tightrope. The previous pontoon was destroyed in the floods which caused severe damage in Workington last November. PC Wi...
Read full storyAlex Ferguson could quit Manchester United to enter World Chewing Gum Championships
Alex Ferguson is considering leaving as Manager, of Manchester United, to enter the World Chewing Gum Championships. For the last two years Mr I Chew, Chairman of the World Chewing Gum Championships, has been sending emails to Ferguson, on a daily...
Read full storyNick Clegg Election Strategy The Work of a Taxi Driver
Nick Clegg's sudden surge in the polls is the work of a London taxi driver. The Liberal Democrat leader was in third place when he hailed a cab one evening. That journey may have changed the course of British politics. The cab was being driven by...
Read full storyiPhone demand boosts Apple egos
Strong sales of its iPhone and Macintosh computers helped Apple egos to leap by 90% in the first quarter of 2010. iPhone users head size increased on average by 49% in the three months to 27 March. Apple said it sold about nine million of its popu...
Read full storyCharlie Sheen seen in disguise
Charlie Sheen is apparently now out of rehab for all his addictions and is apparently starting to shit, I mean shoot new episodes of the television comedy series Two and a Half Men which had to be put on hold while he was away. There are reports t...
Read full storyBritney forgets to pull her zip up
Britney Spears, was spotted leaving the Mondrian Hotel, in West Hollywood recently but she had forgot to pull her zip up in her blue jeans and she seemed totally oblivious to the fact that her zip was completely down. Had she made a quick visit to...
Read full storyLady Gaga moons to the audience on stage
After watching that historically inaccurate movie, Braveheart, about Scotland's National Hero William Wallace, singer songwriter Lady Gaga, was so impressed with the mooning scene that she appeared on stage in Tokyo, and mooned to the audience. Th...
Read full storyAmerica isn't full of obese people
In an explosive article that's sure to rock the rest of the World, Professor Jules von Liebentrop has categorically stated that 10 years of research in a pizza parlour has been worthwhile public spending. The USA is in fact full of morbidly obese...
Read full storySubo to write her own story
Publishers fearing a catastrophe are frantically trying to convince Susan Boyle to allow a ghost writer to pen her story, but she's having none of it. Subo wants to write it all herself! A representative of her publishing firm said "We don't know...
Read full storyCowell "I would have told that 10 year old how bad her song was!"
Simon Cowell doesn't even hold back when he rates the kids on BGT. Cowell was ill and so his chum Walsh filled in at the last auditions and Cowell was not happy with one contestant's offering. The person in question was little Amy Phillips from Wolve...
Read full storyBrown loses cock in very suspicious circumstances
I felt rather sorry for poor old Boris Johnston when he lost his cock, then I heard that Gordon Brown had also lost his cock and became very suspicious about the circumstances of the loss that purportedly occurred in the middle of the night. Apparently Sarah was known to be quite jealous of the constant attention he lavished on it. I rather suspect that after being disturbed by his incessant sn...
Read full storyNick Clegg TV debate details found in cab
The leader of the Liberal Democrats has apparently left his hand written TV debating notes in the back of a cab in Westminster. They are now being circulated around UK media outlets and Clegg is denying it all. We managed to get hold of them and h...
Read full storyPope admits to 'Anus Horribilis'
The Pope is today said to be 'in hiding' in the Vatican after a humiliating typing error made him the laughing stock of the world's media. The spelling mistake that caused all the hilarity was found in an 'Open Letter to the Faithful' intended to...
Read full storyEngland named least Patriotic country in Europe
A recent survey shows that only one in three people know when St Georges Day is. Maybe They should ask Cameron, Brown, & Clegg only one is bound to know. The survey also discovered that England is the least patriotic country in Europe which is a...
Read full storyObama on Cattle Guards
For those of you who have never traveled to the West or Southwest, cattle guards are horizontal steel rails placed at fence openings, in dug-out places in the roads adjacent to highways (sometimes across highways), to prevent cattle from crossing ove...
Read full storyVolcano Flu Claims First Victim
Doctors in the Icelandic capital, Rejkjavic, say they have recorded the first known fatal case of Volcano Flu, a man who lived only about 3 miles from the Eyjafjallajoekull volcano which has been belching black, acrid smoke and ash into the skies ove...
Read full storyIcelandic Volcano Dust Could Be Down To 'Unstable Volcanic Activity' - Claim
The volcano dust that has wreaked havoc with air flights over Europe for the last seven days has been seen pouring out of the summit of the Eyjafjallajoekull volcano in Iceland, it has been belatedly reported, and could well be the product of 'unstab...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Enraged
Robert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart, are really enraged about the stories on the internet about them. Pattinson is particularly annoyed about Spoof writers Colonel Juan, Skoob and Spectrum and made it clear this morning that he is after their bloo...
Read full storyRush Limbaugh Under Attack as Florida Moves to Protect Retarded Panthers
TALLAHASSEE, Florida - Last year, 17 Florida panthers were struck and killed on roadways in that state, a record high and a devastating blow to one of North America's most endangered mammals. Only about 100 or so panthers remain in Florida, so the sp...
Read full storyCure for Cancer found
It's a headline that many of us never thought we'd see in our lifetime, but it would appear that researchers have finally discovered a cure for Cancer. Scientists from the University of Bunkum-on-the-Wold claim that if you're not born between the...
Read full storyGigantic scorpion fossil found in Fife was mother-in-law
A cast is being made of tracks left by a two-metre long 'mother-in-law-type' ancient animal in north east Fife. The tracks were made by a giant six-legged water scorpion called Mrs Gimlet as she crawled over damp sand about 330 million years ago.
Read full storyKate Gosselin's Butt Gets Booted Off of Dancing With The Stars But It Will Appear In PlayMister Magazine
CHICAGO - Like the old Lithuanian saying goes, 'when one door closes another one opens.' And Kate Gosselin is proof of that. No sooner had "King Kate" gotten her Pennsylvania puckeroo kicked off the dancing reality show when her cell phone rang w...
Read full storyDancing With The Stars: "Graceless" Kate Gosselin is Going, Going, Gone!
HOLLYWOOD - Pamela Anderson found herself in Dancing With The Stars bottom two again. But she managed to get by as the American viewers voted to send Kate "The Statue" Gosselin back to her Reading, Pennsylvania home. When her name was announced as...
Read full storyLarry Kings' Kids Baseball Coach Was Hitting Homeruns With Mrs. King
LOS ANGELES - It is the time of the season when the words "Play Ball!" ring out all over the United States. But the term apparently had a different meaning to Shawn Southwick, aka Mrs. Larry King. Unnamed, but highly reliable sources say that the...
Read full storyThatcher Primed To Endorse Conservative Fiscal Policy
Former Conservative leader Margaret Thatcher is expected to make a public show of support for 'Do Nothing' David Cameron's only concrete election strategy to date - cut benefits to those in need. Thatcher, whose impartial brand of politics culmina...
Read full storyNation's Capitol Shown to Have Three Baseball Teams
Washington DC: The Washington Nationals have been a part of major league baseball (MLB) in this city since 2005. However, there are two older MLB teams resident in the District of Columbia, namely the Democratic Liberals and the Republican Conservati...
Read full storyJeremy Kyle To Take Over From God
Jeremy Kyle - the UK version of Jerry Springer - the daytime TV host, has announced that after years of interviewing the scum of the earth for daytime TV he is now prepared to take over from God. According to sources, Jeremy Kyle has tired of maki...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Say Skoob Is A Lying Scumbag
Twilight stars Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart today branded Spoof satirist Skoob an outright lying scumbag, as the inadequate author approached them in a futile bid to sustain his overinflated chart status on satirical website TheSpoof.com P...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart & Skoob Perplexed As SPECTRUM Closes Gap In Writer Chart
Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart were today perplexed as Spoof writer SPECTRUM vowed to top the site writer chart. Spoof writer Skoob was reported to be hitting the bottle with a vengeance after being informed that it was only a matter of time...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson & Kristen Stewart Aware Of SPECTRUM
"He's the guy who grabs us all the headlines," Rob announced. "And he's going to take over the Spoof website writer chart," Kristen added. Moving on... Spoof writer Skoob1999 narrowly escaped certain death today when he became enveloped in a...
Read full storyBlind Squirrel Finds Nut. Trampled to Death by Angry Moose!
At a research facility studying the effectiveness of political polls a blind squirrel by the name of Rocky was brutally hoofed to death by his long time civil partner Bullwinkle. The two are among a menagerie of retired cartoon stars at the joint and...
Read full storyDesperate Octomom Kate Gosselin has emergency foot surgery
In what is called foreshadowing a frantic Kate Gosselin chose 'Don't Forget About Me' on 'Dancing with the Stars' and her abysmal performance has forced her into drastic measures. Kate's disgusted partner, Tony Divamona, slammed on the child ditc...
Read full storyJohnny Depp To Teach Robert Pattinson How To Be A Right Proper Cockney Geezer
Robert Pattinson has announced that he wants to follow the trend set by David Bowie, John Travolta, and Madonna before him by re-inventing himself as a proper 'Cockney Geezer' like Jack 'Sparrer' the famous drunken movie pirate. And he's going to...
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