HOLLYWOOD - The pressure of being the best contestant of this years American Idol bunch has finally gotten to the group's leading singer.
Crystal Bowersox, a 24-year-old blonde dreadlocked mom from Elliston, Ohio had not quite finished singing her song by Curtis Mayfield when she suddenly dropped to the floor and started crying.
Her mascara ran all over her face giving her the look of a Comanche war party brave. Her eye liner ended up on her upper lip, giving her a Charlie Chaplinesque appearance.
Crystal's lipstick ended up on her chin making it look like she had a horrible case of the hives, not much unlike what Lindsay Lohan has been looking like lately.
Ryan Seacrest who usually hugs the contestants after they perform went up to Crystal and simply gave her a fist bump.
Bowersox asked if she could borrow Ryan's handkerchief and he said no way because it had been a special Valentine's Day gift from Lance Bass.
Crystal then asked Randy "The Dawg" Jackson if she could borrow his handkerchief and he told her that his wife had borrowed it and had forgotten to return it.
Simon Cowell said that he has not used a handkerchief since his senior prom back in 1978.
Bowersox then turned to Ellen DeGeneres who was also crying. Ellen said that she did not have a handkerchief but offered Crystal the use of her size 12 pink "Tuesday" panties. Crystal smiled and told Ellen that she would just go backstage and ask Big Michael Lynche if she could borrow one of his socks.
Ryan asked Crystal why she had totally collapsed on stage the way she did. She said that the song that she was singing which is titled, "People Get Ready To Be Gettin' Ready To Get Yourself Ready," brought back memories of her baby and how Crystal had yelled, and screamed, and hollered like hell, and that was just during conception.
SIDENOTE: American Idol producer Simon Shindlebocker and director Simon Witleywine both agreed that because of her most unusual outburst, Crystal Bowersox will be deducted a total of 15,000 votes. Shindlebocker also added that they will caution her that any such outburst in the future may result in her being terminated and sent packing back to Ohio.
