It's a headline that many of us never thought we'd see in our lifetime, but it would appear that researchers have finally discovered a cure for Cancer.
Scientists from the University of Bunkum-on-the-Wold claim that if you're not born between the 21st June and the 22nd of July, there is no chance that you will be cancer.
The news was met with rapturous applause as the waiting journalists gathered to hear the long-awaited announcement. It's now envisaged that the government will effectively halt all planned spending on research into the disease and channel it back into the arms race and trying to find Dusty Bin Laden.
