Former Conservative leader Margaret Thatcher is expected to make a public show of support for 'Do Nothing' David Cameron's only concrete election strategy to date - cut benefits to those in need.
Thatcher, whose impartial brand of politics culminated in the Poll Tax riots, civil unrest in the streets, the castration of the Trades Union movement, the decimation of British manufacturing industry, and the wholesale annihilation of Christian values is expected to back David 'Kick Ass' Cameron's election pledge to shake up the very people Thatcher consigned to the scrapheap 30 years ago.
By taxing benefits paid to the generation Thatcher lost whilst she was busy making off-the-record, undisclosed millions by sucking up to Ronald Reagan.
One ever so slight flaw in this theory.
Thatcher championed the removal of power and influence from the people who paid the bills - the people who mined the coal and rolled the steel and cut the components for jet engines.
She passed that power on to bankers.
And when it all goes tits up? Who's to blame?
The very generation that the Conservatives consigned to a lifetime of ignominy.
But never the bankers who served Mrs T so well.
The very people who made this country what it is - warts and all. The people who were pissed on from a great height and made to feel disenfranchised.
So now the only strategy is to hit the poorest where it hurts the most.
But never mind - it won't hurt them.
They're too dumb to feel pain.
And when they're flat broke, where will the money come from? Many desperate people robbing, thieving and killing their way through life. For money. That's sound economic policy - shit in the sink and piss in the bath.
For more information on Conservative Party policy, please log on to yourehavingafuckinglaff.org.lostworld.uk
We'll take the fucking piss as long as you let us.