Being Stupid Hurts Your Brain: Studies link dumb thinking with declining mental faculties

Written by Tragic Rabbit

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

image for Being Stupid Hurts Your Brain: Studies link dumb thinking with declining mental faculties
Your brain on Adam Sandler movies.

Being stupid could make you lose your mind, recent research suggests. One recent long-term study found that really dumb people experience a much more pronounced and rapid decline in brain functions, writes Ima Smartie at the New York Times. Another found that middle-aged stupid people have smaller, more atrophied brains than Mensa members and that atrophy is a leading feature of dimension.

Still another study noticed that even among the young and smart set, their dumber friends had lower brain-matter density.

The effect could be a genetic one as there appears to be one gene tied strongly to both cluelessness and brain functions, or it could be a result of the brain tissue itself, which secretes hormones that have been linked to what is now being called 'the Adam Sandler Effect'.

Even movie choice could play a role: lab mice forced to watch repeated viewings of movies starring Adam Sandler or Mike Meyers showed signs of decreased synaptic response. But whatever the reason, this doesn't bode well for a US population where 33% of adults are steady multi-plex low-brow-movie goers and already pretty damn dumb.

Doctors advise: don't eat the petroleum byproduct popcorn.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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