"England Will Win World Cup" Claims Carol Vorderman

Written by Earl Grey

Wednesday, 21 April 2010

image for "England Will Win World Cup" Claims Carol Vorderman
2+2= another penalty shootout defeat

Maths genius Carol Vorderman has unveiled a mathematical formula that proves that England will win the next world cup. Vorderman studied form and past tournaments in a bid to uncover the winner.

"If you take all the facts into account the answer is obvious. England won the world cup in 1966. Queen Elizabeth II was on the throne, Labour were in power and people were speculating about who would replace a Scotsman as manager of Manchester United. The similarities are uncanny."

Vorderman's formula goes further. "If we subtract David Beckham, multiply by Fabio Capello, add Wayne Rooney and divide Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard we get the result we all want."

The FA have been suitably impressed to offer Ms Vorderman a job making the tea at half time. England centre back John Terry was asked to comment. "I'll have one from your bottom please Carol".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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