There were 254 spoof news stories published in February 2004. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
Janet Jackson's Superbowl Nipple Slip Reveals She's A Cyborg
The Superbowl halftime show, produced by MTV, promised some surprises, and boy did it deliver. At the end of a performance by pop icons Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson, Timberlake ripped off the cup covering Jackson's right breast, to reveal...Read full story
Clothing Designer Killed
Sydney ,Australia -- Reg Grundies,fashion Guru extrordinaire,and inventor of the Y-front and Jockette line of mens underwear ,was killed today.Read full story
50Cent to Rule Haiti, Renames Country
PORT-AU-PRINCE, Haiti - Promising to "lay it down on the mic", rap star 50Cent has announced that he will rule Haiti. "I don't need no Grammy for Best New Artist gangstaaa, I'll be runnin' my own d*mn...Read full story
Janet's Nipple Ripple
The aftershocks of Janet Jackson's and Justin Timberlake's strip tease at the Super Bowl are still being felt several weeks later. The latest event to fall victim to the tasteless in-your-face incident is an ABC biopic about Lena Horne.Read full story
Right Breast Spotted at Half-time -- Left Pup a No-Show at Super Bowl!
Tits Have a History of Exposure!...Read full story
Angry Vegetables - A Threat to Health?
Washington, D.C., U.S.A. - Scientists at the Scientific Test Area for Recent Vegetable Eating (S.T.A.R.V.E.) have confirmed that the vegetarian movement may be causing a significant shift in the natural order of our food chain.Read full story
Passion Of The Christ: A Warlock Hunt
Much controversy has surrounded Mel Gibson's film about the brutal torture and murder of humanity's most well-known religious figure. Taken from the gospel accounts in the Bible, the story revolves around the people who were ultimately respon...Read full story
Harry Potter goes 'gay'?
JK Rowling today announced details of her upcoming "Harry Potter" book. She suggested, of course, that the book would be the "best yet", a claim she knew could become true once she had decided to turn our beloved do-gooder wizard,...Read full story
It's Official: Bert and Ernie Get Married
San Francisco, California - Finally, decades of wondering are over. Bert and Ernie are gay. Yes. The Sesame Street duo has been hiding in the closet for decades because PBS decided that exposing their homosexuality would be detrimental to the...Read full story
Howard Stern "Born Again"
New York City, N.Y., U.S.A. - Shock Radio Jockey Howard Stern has announced today that he has been 'born again' after a recent screening of The Passion of the Christ and will repent for his previous radio programs.Read full story
Actor Tom Cruise To Change His Name
Los Angeles - Award winning actor Tom Cruise announced today that he will undergo a name change after he marries actress Penelope Cruz later this year. In a statement released through his publicist, the 41 year old movie star announced that he h...Read full story
President Denies Codpiece
Washington D.C. -- The White House press office issued a release denying assertions that George Bush was wearing a codpiece last May when he alighted from a Navy S-3B Viking fighter onto the deck of the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln.Read full story
George Will to publish book of children's stories
Conservative commentator and author George Will has announced that he is in the midst of publishing a book of classic children's stories.Read full story
Bush Denies Cross Dressing Past
Democratic Party leaders and high ranking Democrats in the House and Senate today called on President George W. Bush to release any records he may have that would prove that he never dressed in women's clothes and went by the name of Wilma.Read full story
Nude Dogs Offend
In response to numerous complaints, the Wowserboro Town Council, in Western Australia, has told owners of hairless Chihuahua dogs, that they must exercise their pets at the nude beach.Read full story
Star Wars on DVD This September
The original trilogy of Star Wars is to become available on DVD by September this year. Many fans have been requesting that the DVD include the original cinematic version from 1977 and Lucasfilm is happy to oblige:...Read full story
Snoopy's "comic" strip reveals peanuts!
The world's most famous mute beagle, Snoopy, today revealed his tiny-genitalia in an a surprise unveiling during a "Saturday Night Live!" special. Producers of the show, broadcast live, have since apologised for the upset.Read full story
Mars rover finds McDonalds drive-thru
In a shocking picture release by NASA today, Opportunity, the exploratory rover, has been spotted trundling up to McDonalds drive thru. Whilst the contents of the take-away were kept suspiciously elusive, rumours abound that the cheeky martian rover...Read full story
Top 10 Options For Saddam Hussein
1. Ask US President George W. Bush to step down and join him to stand trial for crimes against Iraqi people.Read full story
Tammy Faye Bakker and Ron Jeremy to Wed
Hollywood, CA- Surprising Christians and pornography viewers alike, porn star Ron "Hedgehog" Jeremy and televangelist Tammy Faye Bakker Messner announced plans to wed.Read full story
Dirty Bomb Shell Discovered - Fine for Public Lewdness Pending
New York City, N.Y., U.S.A. - Officials from the Office of Homeland Insecurity were called in late last night to deal with a suspicious package. They later identified the offending item as a "dirty" bomb shell and called in some Christian...Read full story
Anna K's Valentine's Game
Miami, Florida, U.S.A. - In a surprising game that left spectators baffled, Anna Kournikova served up boyfriend Enrique Iglesias' heart today in what was consider a Valentine's Day horror tennis spectacle.Read full story
Academy Awards cancelled amid fears of pro-Bush speech
The 77th annual Academy Awards are still over three months away, but have been indefinitely postponed after officials learned that a nominee may show support for President Bush in an acceptance speech.Read full story
Friends cast involved in Blaine-a-Like starvation stunt
The cast of popular TV show, Friends, have decided to end their comedy careers by starving themselves for forty days in an ice-cream truck's fridge. Cast member Matt Le Blanc explained:...Read full story
Zogby: Hung In Triple Digit Lead Over Bush, Kerry
WASHINGTON -- A new text-messaging poll conducted by Zogby International for The Spoof and UC Berkeley from February 12-19, 2004 of 3,137,209 likely voters with a margin of error of +/- .08 percentage points found that if the election for president w...Read full story
Campaign shocker: Drudge Report breaks news of Kerry affair with Matt Drudge - story quickly pulled
In a potentially campaign-ending accusation, it has been reported that presidential candidate John Kerry has had an extramarital affair with Matt Drudge.Read full story
2004 Best and Worst Tressed Male Celebrities.
New York City, NY -- Celebrity Hair stylist to the stars, Jai de la Jai Lai, released his top ten best and worst tressed list today. There were very few surprises. John Kerry, the Democratic frontrunner for the presidential nomination, and Donald T...Read full story
Justin Timberlake Apologizes Again
Justin Timberlake, the former 'NSync-er and ex-boytoy of Britney Spears, has gone to new, annoying heights, even for him. He has decided to milk the Superbowl fiasco, cleverly entitled "Boobiegate", for all of the publicity it is worth.Read full story
Horses Genetically Engineered To Have Cupholders
COLLEGE STATION, TX -- It's not your father's horse. Researchers at Texas A&M University have successfully altered horse DNA so that each one is born with a cupholder on it's neck. The feat is being hailed as a biological engineering brea...Read full story
Stop Press: WMD found in Iraq
Cable channel "Fox News" got the jump on the other media by being the only channel to carry live coverage of President George Bush's announcement that they had finally found WMD in Iraq.Read full story
New Reality TV Show To Premiere Soon
Salt Lake City, UTAH -- The Mormons have decided that it was high time to get in on the reality tv wagon. Mormon TV is going to start filming the show "Mormon Bachelor". It will be aired in Utah and several Fox affiliates in the Sout...Read full story
Viagra not effective on women shock
Fizzer Farmer-suiticals has pulled the plug on an 8-year research programme into the effects of Viagra on women after it appears that it makes no difference to their sexual satisfaction.Read full story
Should Angry Older Folks Be Denied Access To Certain Movies?
"At least it was only a dollar!" older people can be heard saying, after seeing Academy Award Nominated films such as "Lost In Translation" in their local dollar theater. "What was that trash even about?" is another common collective comment made by groups of elderly people who insist on spending their time going to movies they "heard were good" when...Read full story
Michael Jackson Made Honorary Priest!
The Vatican- Pope John Paul II today made Pop star and accused child molester, Michael Jackson an Honorary Priest.Read full story
Tories ban bald leaders
Tory spin doctors have introduced a new rule barring bald men from becoming leader of the Conservative Party.Read full story
San Francisco Prints Own Money, Rosie's Mug Replaces George W.
SAN FRANCISCO, CA (FP) -- In order to deal with the city's increasing financial crisis, San francisco has started printing its own money to pay off debtors and employees. The controversial move has caused an uproar among more fiscally conservativ...Read full story
Capture bin Laden? Brilliant!
In a stunning show of presidential initiative, George W. Bush has ordered his military to capture Osama bin Laden. Presidential watchers were flabbergasted at the order. "We were all sitting around wondering how we could make the war on terrorism su...Read full story
Number Of Electronic Devices That Actually Work Correctly On The Rise
A survey released by the World Trade Organization reveals that as many as 44% of electronic devices worldwide actually worked correctly last year, an increase from 39% the year prior.Read full story
George Bush Strategy: Revealed
George Bush has revealed that what he calls his 'government' is in fact "Reality" computer game "The Sims". The action centers around a mansion called "The Wihte Haus" and its inhabitants.Read full story
Monkeys Briefly Take Over White House
Washington, D.C. - Monday, 2/16/04, 7:35pm Eastern time, escaped monkeys took over the White House. Though rampaging and loudly destroying government property, the group wasn't detected until about 8:57pm the same night.Read full story
Ousting Walt Disney
BURBANK, CA--We have all heard long winded stories about how the charming Roy Disney, nephew of co-founders Walt and brother Roy, helped forged one unprecedented imagination based empire. But now he calls for the elimination of Michael Eisner, a man...Read full story
Pokemon Toys Turn Evil using Rechargeable Batteries
TomCal, one of the world's largest toy manufacturers, has been forced to recall many of its lines of autonomous Pokemon robots from shop and homes around the world. Warnings on the cardboard back of the product read that "Do not use re-charg...Read full story
House Pets, Ducks, Targeted by Cheney; "Spot" the Dog is Executed!
The deadly dog, cat and mouse game with the Taliban and Al Qaeda in America has literally hit home in America.Read full story
Record Price For Painting
Australian painter,Iva Brush today won the prestigious Archibald Prize for his entry called 'Black cat in a coalmine'.Read full story
Decline in German alcohol consumption marks continued good news for Poland
A recent study found that German consumption of alcohol was dropping dramatically, making older people in surrounding countries with long memories a little more comfortable.Read full story
E-Mail, Spam, Dogs and Anthrax, Uncle Sam Will Close Post Offices
There was a red, white and blue mailbox on nearly every corner of town. Junk mail was delivered twice a day to your doorstep and you didn't need to be a registered postal worker to carry a hand-gun (I'm going somewhere with this, trust me).Read full story
Jimmy White wins World Snooker Championship
Amazing comeback kid, Jimmy White, shocked the Wembley Arena last night after destroying John Virgo in a tough 19 frame battle. White, 17, found incredible form to see off the knowledgeable Virgo, 23, and win the World Championship title for the firs...Read full story
Saddam Capture: Revealed
Allied forces found a weapon of mass self-destruction in the form of an 8-bit video game console. Special forces units captured the former dictator of Iraq after they found him hidden in a hole playing Baseball Stars on the original Nintendo s...Read full story
Bush on Gay Marriage: I Believe in Dick
President George W. Bush weighed in today on the issue of gay marriage. Speaking from the Oval Office in response to the Mayor of San Francisco's allowing weddings between same sex couples to be performed, President Bush stated "I am deeply troubled...Read full story
It's a Good Job if You Can Get It
The loss of 2.2 million jobs in the United States since the beginning of the Bush Administration is actually a good thing, White House sources said yesterday. The "Outsourcing" of jobs to foreign countries, " Is just a new way of doing international...Read full story
Mel Gibson begins work on "Passion II: Electric Boogaloo"
With Mel Gibson's film "The Passion of the Christ" just opening, Gibson announced this morning that he has already begun work on the sequel.Read full story
Bush Reverses Stand on Gay Marriage
In a startling about face from his recent comments supporting a Constitutional Amendment to ban gay marriage, U.S. President George W. Bush announced that gay weddings were now "AOK" with him. Bush made the decision after meeting with lob...Read full story
Gibson's 'Passion' Subliminal Nazi Propaganda
Hollywood, CA -- Critical analysis of Mel Gibson's new controversial movie has revealed subliminal images and messages peppered throughout the flick. And they're not designed to influence your snack purchase or next movie choice, they're...Read full story
The Queen Stages Raunchy Janet Jackson Routine
Last night's prestigious Brit Awards Ceremony was brought to a standstill when Her Majesty the Queen staged a raunchy ‘Janet Jackson' routine with her Greek-born husband.Read full story
John-Jacob Jingleheimer-Smith Convention To Be Held In Disneyland
In news that may shock, appal and delight, the First John-Jacob Jingleheimer-Smith Convention is set to be hosted in Disneyland. The convention, as announced by John Jacob-Jingleheimer Smith yesterday, is "invite only" for other peop...Read full story
Bush To Star in Three Stooges Remake
Barring any unforseen goof-ups, misstatements, or an attentive public, Bush is confident about winning the 2004 election. Running as the incumbent and toting a hefty war-chest, Bush is perhaps the favorite to win despite his horrific economy and rock...Read full story
Grammy's Shocking Moments Censored by CBS
In the wake of the scandal surrounding the revelation of Janet Jackson's right breast by fellow pop icon Justin Timberlake at last week's Superbowl halftime show, CBS had announced that on it's 46th annual Grammy Awards telecast, it would...Read full story
World Leaders Resigned to Resigning
President George W. Bush has called on Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide to resign, citing the fact that half the country is against him. President Jean-Bertrand Aristide has called on President Bush to resign, citing the fact that more than h...Read full story
The Diary of Osama bin Laden
The whereabouts of Osama bin Laden, the most hunted man in this century or the last, are still unknown. A recent tape of bin laden is believed to be a fake or to have been put together from older tapes. The mystery of where in the world is Osama bin...Read full story
Jordan Ready for Monkey Business
Following the success of "I'm a Celebrity - Get Me Out of Here!", production company "Elladore" has announced a new show to be launched on ITV during April 2004.Read full story
Three-Way Weddings OK'd In Vegas, Reno and Tahoe
Girl, Girl, boy; Girl, boy; Boy; Boy, boy girl; Girl, girl, girl.Read full story
Man Anally Probed by Aliens Over 100 Times!
Rob Johnson isn't a bashful man. When asked, he will readily show you the damaged anus left behind by over 100 anal probes administered by aliens. Rob holds the world record with most ever reported anal probings. With over 113 in all and over 20...Read full story
Simon Fuller annouched today that he would do a religious Pop Idol. Pope Idol should hit UK screens later this year dubbed the "holy man's Pop Idol".Read full story
Pope Goes Hip-Hop To Attract Youth Back To the Church
Vatican City, Vatican - Cardinal St. Louis, the Pope's right hand man, announced to the world today that "the Pope is dead."...Read full story
Primary School Pupils ‘need stretching'.
A new report from the Department for Failing Pupils has come up with a startling recommendation to improve educational standards in English primary schools.Read full story
Corey Haim Primed for HUGE Comeback
Corey Haim, star of such blockbusters as Demolition High and The Double 0 Kid announced today that he is finally ready to return to the silver screen and please his legions of fans.Read full story
Satan Says: "Sin Away" Your Souls are Safe; Hell is Filled to the top!
A collective sigh of relief was experienced by the world's faithful Tuesday when The Devil told a group of Christians gathered for a religious symposium in New Orleans that Hell is overflowing -- the Ten Commandments are null and void-- And, in t...Read full story
Arnold to Terminate Gay Marriage
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has called on his states Attorney General Bill Lockyer to issue a ban on gay marriage, calling it "An imminent threat to Civil Order." In a statement issued from the Governors Mansion in Sacramento the former...Read full story
The Play's the Thing
The US Army is getting ready to release it’s latest video training game. If I remember correctly, the working name of the game is “ Killing Arabs for Oil” or something like that. I’ve always thought that military video games were a great idea.. I mean, if war isn’t fun, what fun is it? The game is a semi-realistic depiction of Special Forces operations in an unnamed Arab country (Iraq) and allows...Read full story
"Complete Idiots Guide" Publishers File Bankruptcy
Alpha Books, publishers of the best-selling line of "Complete Idiots Guide" how to books, has announced that lagging sales have forced them to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection today. In an official press release, Alpha cited lagging sales,...Read full story
Shocked Spies Spy On Themselves
Gevena, Switzerland - The spy world has been rocked by the realization that before the Iraq invasion by the US military, spies had actually been spying on themselves.Read full story
Short "will not be made a tomato"
Labour Party Chairman Ian McCartney, long-lost bastard brother of Sir Paul McCartney the well-known tunesmith, told a press conference today that Clare Short would not be ‘made a tomato' by the Labour Party. "Her recent comments about UK spices in th...Read full story
Italians riot in protest at Gibson's Christ film
Mel Gibson's new film The Passion of the Christ may be banned in Italy, amid protests that it is anti-Italian.Read full story
Sheik Unvak Buys Leeds United
The Saudi Arabian Sheik today bought the struggling Premiership side Leeds United. Speculation has been rife with many other Middle Eastern sheiks, such as Sheik Yabuti, also attempting to buy the club. But Sheik Unvak who has paid the total of 42p o...Read full story
Bush Prepares for "Meet the Press"
WASHINGTON February 7, 2004 (EP) Preparing for an interview on "Meet the Press" this Sunday, President George Bush practiced answering the difficult questions expected from NBC Washington Bureau Chief Tim Russert.Read full story
It's Official: Barbie and Ken Split Up
After 43 years of non-wedded, perhaps pretended bliss, Barbie and Ken split up.Read full story
Jesus H. Christ's Estate Grosses $30 Million
HOLLYWOOD- The Estate of Jesus H. Christ has just earned a stunning $30 Million in one day.Read full story
Bush 'Honors' Hymen
CIA Director George Tenet has said before a Senate hearing that the United States is as "fraught with dangers for American interests" as it was before the take over of Iraq, directly contradicting George Bush's claim that the world is a safer place w...Read full story
Are We a Nation of Nationalists?
EDITORIAL FEATURE - Canada/US Relations It's been said that the best way to ensure war is to nationalize people under separate flags. Are we a Nation of Nationalists?...Read full story
Do You Hear What I Hear?
Clair Short, British Prime Minister Tony Blair's International Development Secretary who resigned in the wake of the attack on Iraq has alleged that The British Intelligence Community had been eavesdropping on United Nations Secretary Kofi Annan's t...Read full story
Blair To Win Eurovision Song Contest
Clare Short heaped further humiliation on Tony Blair, by sensational claims that British spies had tapped the phones of Eurovision Song Contest entrants.Read full story
Phone is Nokia's best yet
Nokia's new 6969 phone has been lauched with a blast. Nokia's CEO Mr Ned Nedler says "We put a lot, and I mean a lot, of money into this design because we see this phone as the new benchmark in technology."...Read full story
FCC Attacks Muppets
Washington, DC -The interim head of the Federal Communications Commission, Charles Schultz III, has decided to attack the muppets. Yes, the muppets. Those furry, fuzzy and cuddly creatures that are so harmless.Read full story
Where Has J. Lo Gone?
Hollywood, Ca --Tabloid journalists all over the globe are still lamenting the breakup of Bennifer. It seems that J. Lo has become quiet, even shunning the press, or so it would seem, since the disastrous relationship finally ended.Read full story
Clear Channel Communications Makes Bid For Cheerios Brand
In a press release today, Clear Channel announced it has been in talks with General Mills to purchase the Cheerios brand of cereal.Read full story
Riot in the South West Forests.
Due to the decline in popularity of artificial raspberry cordial, the Western Australian Government has ordered the mass uprooting of the artificial raspberry plantations.Read full story
Groundhog Day Erupts in Chaos, Winter May Never End
Punxsutawney, PA The American tradition of Groundhog Day was marred today by an ugly incident in which the world's most celebrated groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, was captured by a family of hillbillies, skinned, roa...Read full story
Ex-Altar Boy Sues Priest for Not Molesting Him
Boston, Massachusetts -Today, ex-altar boy, Lexy "Yes I am Sexy" Smith, sued the Archdiocese of Boston because he was an altar boy who was never molested.Read full story
New reality show "The Funeral" sparks controversy
The idea behind the reality show was to trick an unknowing family into thinking that their parents have been killed. FOX stages a fake funeral tricking all the beloved of the "deceased" into weeping, and making fools of themselves in front of the cam...Read full story
Leeds United to Sell Remaining Players on E Bay
In an effort to stabilise the Yorkshire club, Leeds United have taken the drastic steps of offloading their remaining players to other clubs through the internet auction site E Bay.Read full story
Rosie O. Loses Her Heart and Her Singledom in San Francisco
San Francisco, CA -- It was a beautiful ceremony, quick and painless. Rosie O'Donnell, the Queen of Nice --(yeah, right), married her lover of many years today in the city by the Bay.Read full story
Is Breathing Safe?
Is Breathing Safe? Is the question being asked by the world's leading scientists today.Read full story
Guantanamo Bay Hotel declared ‘Island of Freedom' in Red Cuba
The Florida Tourist Board is promoting picturesque Guantanamo Bay as the ideal haven for tourists who want to see Cuba but don't want to meet Communists.Read full story
Hubble, Dubbya, WMD shock
The Hubble telescope has enabled scientists to observe the most distant object in the universe so far detected by man. Scientists at the California Institute of Far-fetched Phenomena today announced that despite recent problems with the mirror of the...Read full story
End Of The World?...Soon?
If you have been wondering whether the world has ended or not .....relax, it's official it hasn't.Read full story
It's Official - Bullshit makes you Bald
Scientists have found more evidence for a possible link between hair loss and long-term use of bullshit. A study of more than 1,300 bald men in Texas shows that those who began their bullshitting before 1980 increased their chance of becoming follically challenged by 40 percent. Among those who used permanent rather than non-permanent bullshit, who chose complete bullshit — and who bullshit...Read full story
FDA To Approve New Road Rage Cure
The old "Rush Hour Road Rage" may no longer be an excuse for road-weary travelers. Today, the FDA will view and test a new drug that could end road rage. The drug, a combination of several popular anti- depresants, and an alcohol based drug...Read full story