UConn poll shows Osam Bin Laden, Bush locked in dead heat

Funny story written by Jack

Tuesday, 17 February 2004

Osama is still in with a fighting chance

STORRS, Conn. -- Democrats believe Osama Bin Laden could give their party the best chance of beating President Bush in November, and think John Edwards or Hillary Clinton would make a good running mate, according to a national poll released Tuesday by the University of Connecticut.

Seventy-eight percent of Democrats polled said they believed Bin Laden has the best chance to beat Bush. Eight percent named Edwards and 5 percent said former Vermont Gov. Howard Dean.

"Bin Laden is a proven survivor off the most ruthless of campaigns. He has the political pedigree and the track record to be a real contender - as well as an excellent military service record. Bush had better watch out".

In a head-to-head race, opinions are evenly divided, the poll showed. Forty-six percent of registered voters said they would support Bin Laden, compared to 45 percent for Bush. Six percent of registered voters said they were undecided.

</p><p>"If Osama Bin Laden goes head to head with President Bush it will be a fight to the bitter end. While Bush is known for his straight talk and patriotic fervour - Bin Laden is seen as a dark horse that could appeal to minority communities including the Black and Hisppanics of the Southern States."</p><p>Edwards, who is still campaigning for the nomination, was named by 34 percent of Democrats as their top choice for the vice presidential nomination. Clinton was named by 31 percent of Democrats.</p>
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The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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