Ousting Walt Disney

Funny story written by dav

Monday, 23 February 2004

image for Ousting Walt Disney
Even Yanni Hates Roy Disney For Attacking Eisner

BURBANK, CA--We have all heard long winded stories about how the charming Roy Disney, nephew of co-founders Walt and brother Roy, helped forged one unprecedented imagination based empire. But now he calls for the elimination of Michael Eisner, a man he helped elect to the board he resigned from just mere months ago.

We have uncovered ridiculous, and unthinkable evidence to suggest that nephew Roy was planning a rivalry with Walt Disney himself! Calling him, 'old' and 'out-dated' there are proofs within several handwritten messages, all awaiting logistic terra-form carbon dating, have been put in to the mainstream press.

Early anticipation of these tests concludes that they had been written, delivered and acknowledged 6hrs before Walt Disney's demise.

"Mine, mine, mine!" was over heard as animators passed Roy's desk, it is an odd find, as his own father not only helped create the business, but he was still alive and very much in control as Vice-President. It is ridiculous to think that this family was in the midst of an insurrection, one that had very little weight or a slight event horizon of possibility.

We presented this new evidence to Michael Eisner CEO of the Walt Disney Company, who looked at us longingly, "And where do you suppose that you got this preposterous evidence? It has been my experience that news like this could be drummed up over the weekend, and has so little exponential value... wait, did you say that guy who is trying to oust me, is the same guy that was trying to kick uncle Walt out of his own company!

We all nodded with acknowledgement to his inquiry.

He turned around, looked out at the back of his coffee mug, spun around in his executive leather chair a few times, and stood up dancing and singing like we have never seen before.

Then he spoke right at us, very seriously. "Then, only then.... might I have a chance to run this company right in to brilliant success! I can save it from inevitable bankruptcy, and who knows, maybe even win a couple Oscars! Build upon the very fabric of ultimate creativity can be enhanced, the streets will survive!"

We left his office, touched in a new and special way that we have never really experienced before. A bit puzzled and curious, but overwhelming in confidence that perhaps we can expect greater things out of Eisner, now that he has forgotten that he already saved the company, and is very much in full control of that enterprise. We shall see.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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