San Francisco Prints Own Money, Rosie's Mug Replaces George W.

Written by Blind Fool -••-

Saturday, 28 February 2004

image for San Francisco Prints Own Money, Rosie's Mug Replaces George W.
This note will become legal tender for all debts, public and private - oh boy.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA (FP) -- In order to deal with the city's increasing financial crisis, San francisco has started printing its own money to pay off debtors and employees. The controversial move has caused an uproar among more fiscally conservative citizens there as well as across the nation.

Opponents charge that the action is illegal and must be ceased immediately. City officials claim that the law against printing your own money and spending it is nowhere found in the constitution, therefore they have not only the right but it's their duty to America and humanity to continue.

Schwarzenegger asked the state's attorney general to enforce the law and make them stop. The people's governor received a reply stating, "Up yours you wannabe actor/governor. I'm in on this action too, and I am the law. If you want us to stop, come make us you gutless governator." Arnold quickly backed down.

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom says that the term "counterfeit" is a derogatory term used to bash that oppressed population who just want to do what comes natural to them - print and spend their own money. He insisted he would continue his policy despite criticism from national politicians, big business and even fellow Democrats.

City officials need a break as throngs of funny-money artists wanting legal counterfeit tender to spend have mobbed city hall. "We have human beings doing great work (at the City Hall print shop), they're exhausted," Newsom said. "I think we're on firm legal footing and legal grounds, and certainly I believe very strongly and passionately we're on the right moral ground. Want some money?"

In Washington, President Bush said he will back a "defense of money" act in an attempt to halt printing and spending that has been allowed this month in San Francisco. "He has always strongly believed that money is a legal covenant between the government and the people," White House press secretary Scott McClellan said.

He said the president wants to end "growing confusion" that has arisen from San Francisco's printing more than three-million O'Dollars (the money printed contains the likeness of Rosie O'Donnell rather than George Washington). "The president believes it is important to uphold the law," McClellan said. "There is widespread support in this country for protecting and defending the legality of money."

Critics ask where this will stop. They want to know just what will exactly constitute "money" in the future. What if they start drawing their own money on note paper? Will cocktail napkins eventually become currency? And the big question is, will other states have to recognize Frisco's O'Dollars as legal tender for all debts, public and private?

This will surely turn into national anarchy which will end up in the higher courts. It's unclear as to what will happen there, but most experts agree that laws against counterfeiting will eventually be overturned, and that all municipalities will be able to print and spend their own money as they see fit

And everyone will have to accept it as completely legal or face the consequences of the law -- unless they decide to defy that law too, in which case they could make the courts to decide whether laws punishing those who defy the law are legal or not.


The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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