Horses Genetically Engineered To Have Cupholders

Funny story written by Blind Fool -••-

Thursday, 26 February 2004

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Daisy - Ready To Hit The Road

COLLEGE STATION, TX -- It's not your father's horse. Researchers at Texas A&M University have successfully altered horse DNA so that each one is born with a cupholder on it's neck. The feat is being hailed as a biological engineering breakthrough.

The project initially started out a few years ago as a bet between two professors. One said he could do it and the other said he couldn't; and the rest is history.

The future is bright for the two men and the university as well. It's predicted that, if marketed correctly, millions could be earned.

The cupholder, positioned just an arm's reach away for the average rider, consists of cartilage covered in the horse's own natural skin and hair (which aids in insulation - an added bonus). It's big and stretchy enough to fit the largest cups, even ones from fast-food restaurants and convenience stores.

The extra appendage causes the horse no discomfort, unless you have hot coffee and it spills. For this reason, it is suggested that only cold drinks be placed in the holder. Coffee mugs with a sliding door on the lid are acceptable.

Animal rights activists are said to be against the change unless the horses can be altered to have an airbag in case there's a horse wreck due to the rider drinking alcoholic beverages. The Aggie scientists believe they can achieve this goal with some carefully calculated swapped genetic code and a lung.
Currently only right-handed models are available.

Later next year, south-paw versions will be rolling off Mother Nature's assembly line, but will cost a bit more due to lower demand. Horses with both left and right-handed cup holders will also be produced, but only the wealthiest elite among us will be able to afford them.

Other cool gadgets slated for production are ash trays, coin holders, trash containers, and a cel phone pouch.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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