And finally, Moby is a monkey.

Funny story: And finally, Moby is a monkey.

That's right. Moby is a monkey. A simian musician. A primate philanthropist. A banana diet denizen of NYC. Moby Moby, of NYC, is a monkey. He has ears. He has a mouth with which to eat bananas and ants and the like. He has eyes with which to see nits on the other monkey's heads. He runs about in a very monkeyish way. He is friends with Michael Moore, as many monkeys are. That is no...

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Another Perpetual Motion Machine Patented

...

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President Grows Beard, Calls Self Osama Bin Bushy

In a move that will surely shock most sane people living in almost all the developed countries, George W. Bush has grown extensive facial hair (using miracle Hair Club For Men formula only available to presidents and those who are balding) and has ch...

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Public Enthralled By Rover Close-ups

Ever since NASA began releasing new images of the Martian surface the world has been rather dismayed. The worries need not continue however, NASA has heeded the public outcry.

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"Complete Idiots Guide" Publishers File Bankruptcy

Funny story: "Complete Idiots Guide" Publishers File Bankruptcy

Alpha Books, publishers of the best-selling line of "Complete Idiots Guide" how to books, has announced that lagging sales have forced them to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection today. In an official press release, Alpha cited lagging sales,...

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It's in the genes

Funny story: It's in the genes

Scientists from the US Institute of genetics in Utah have today released documents on there highly controversial research into behavioral attitudes in humans. These documents detail a breakthrough by the institute claiming that they have isolated the...

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Nanny State to provide State Nannies

Funny story: Nanny State to provide State Nannies

General Secretary Tony Blair today hinted that the oft-mentioned "Nanny State" is about to become a reality. Mr Blair made an announcement during a Downing Street finger buffet reception for one-legged lesbians of colour with learning diffi...

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Man Anally Probed by Aliens Over 100 Times!

Funny story: Man Anally Probed by Aliens Over 100 Times!

Rob Johnson isn't a bashful man. When asked, he will readily show you the damaged anus left behind by over 100 anal probes administered by aliens. Rob holds the world record with most ever reported anal probings. With over 113 in all and over 20...

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PETA Activists Recovering

The sixteen PETA activists that were injured last weekend at an animal rights demonstration in Modesto, California are "all doing fine", says Mercy Hospital's chief orthopedic surgeon, Wallace Fenturi. Fourteen are scheduled to be relea...

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Rumsfeld: "Killing is human nature, you liberal surrender monkeys"

Funny story: Rumsfeld: "Killing is human nature, you liberal surrender monkeys"

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld put a political foot in the wrong leatherette marching boots today when questioned about Tuesday's car bombing in Iraq, that killed about 50 people. In his infinite wisdom, Rumsfeld suggested that there are murders i...

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Fertility ‘a blight on everyday life'

Having children ruins almost all aspects of everyday life, according to a report. The study, by the British Medical Association, says having children has caused anxiety, panic and even death in millions of men and women aged 13-50.

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John-Jacob Jingleheimer-Smith Convention To Be Held In Disneyland

In news that may shock, appal and delight, the First John-Jacob Jingleheimer-Smith Convention is set to be hosted in Disneyland. The convention, as announced by John Jacob-Jingleheimer Smith yesterday, is "invite only" for other peop...

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Will He Drown??

Funny story: Will He Drown??

Dave Letterman, The host of "The Late Show" almost drowned last night while involving himself in one of the his most popular segments on his show called "Will it Float?"...

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John Edwards Worked Hard For His Money

Democratic Senator John Edwards is certainly an exemplification of the American Dream. From rags to riches, Mr. Edwards has espoused his "work ethic" virtues that led his meteoric rise from farm boy to big-shot Senator. But his candidacy...

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