Boston Area Surgeon Pays Tribute to Super Bowl MVP

Funny story written by B. Elliot Stern

Monday, 2 February 2004


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Tom Brady & His Cleft Chin

In an attempt to capitalize on New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's notoriety, a plastic surgeon in the Boston area is offering a special to anyone who wants to have their face altered to look like the newly crowned Super Bowl MVP.

Doctor Barry Goldenbaum of Quincy, Mass a lifelong Patriots fan, came up with the idea Sunday night as a way to pay tribute to the young, handsome star of his beloved football team. "I figure that Tom Brady shouldn't be the only one to get laid as a result of his incredible performance in the Super Bowl. "That cleft chin of his should be something any man can look in the mirror and say I want one just like Tom's" he added.

Upon hearing of the opportunity to have his face altered to look like Brady's, Northeastern University junior Charlie Watkins skipped his classes Monday to be the first in-line at Goldenbaum's office. Watkins, who noted that he has not had sexual intercourse in his life, sees this as a chance for a new beginning with the female gender. "With Tom Brady's face, I know that girls will overlook the fact that I'm five feet six inches tall and weigh 245 pounds. I mean, who wouldn't want to have sex with Tom Brady. I know I would and I'm not even gay, I don't think." said Watkins.

Attempts to reach Brady were unsuccessful, however a Patriots team spokesman did issue this statement "Tom is of course very flattered by Dr. Goldenbaum's jester to the men of Boston and hopes that those who do go through with the surgery can enjoy the high quality Grade A ass that he's been able to enjoy since his cleft chin developed back in the 10th grade."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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