Bush Denies Cross Dressing Past

Funny story written by Wally

Monday, 16 February 2004

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Democratic Party leaders and high ranking Democrats in the House and Senate today called on President George W. Bush to release any records he may have that would prove that he never dressed in women's clothes and went by the name of Wilma.

Rumors of a cross dressing past surfaced this weekend, hard on the heels of rumors of an adulterous relationship between Senator John Kerry and a young intern.

"The issue, as I understand it, is whether the President is or has ever been a cross dresser," said Kerry, the Democratic front runner in the presidential primary campaign.

"I did not make this charge, but as long as it's out there, the President has an obligation to be honest with the American people about whether he is a cross dresser - not that there is anything wrong with being a cross dresser, mind you," said Kerry.

The allegations involve a time period in which Democrats have questioned the President's attendance during his National Guard service in Alabama. The White House released payroll records and the results of a dental examination done by an Alabama National Guard dentist as proof he was present during the time in question.

Democrats immediately discounted those records.

"It is not an unheard of thing in the great state of Alabama for a person to be in one place and his teeth to be in another," said Walter Ray Smith, Chairman of the Washington County Democratic Party.

"We think the little sissy left his teeth with his National Guard dentist and took his alter ego on a few party weekends," Smith said.

The White House released a written response, saying that "the President is not, has never been, and has never considered being a cross dresser," and accused the Kerry campaign of taking the campaign "to a new all time low" in order to deflect attention from his "little girl problem."

They did, however, promise to release records of all the President's clothing purchases for the time period in question.

Meanwhile, in an interesting and unexpected twist, some Democrats were quietly trying to quash the story after flash polls in the Northeast United States and the San Francisco area showed a bump in the President's approval ratings.


The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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