Written by Patrick Kemp

Saturday, 14 February 2004

image for President Denies Codpiece

Washington D.C. -- The White House press office issued a release denying assertions that George Bush was wearing a codpiece last May when he alighted from a Navy S-3B Viking fighter onto the deck of the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln.

According to the interview, Marine Corps Lance Corporal Ida May Kisse of Chula Vista, California, was on duty at the pre-flight ready room at North Island Naval Air Station, San Diego. She recounted how Bush, while suiting up prior to the flight observed Marine pilots who were going to accompany the flight. Kisse said, "He looked a little stirred up and asked his aides to clear the ready room of military personnel. I was the only one allowed to stay."

Kisse described the incident, "I didn't understand it all, but he was real stirred up after one of his aides said something about the Marine packages, but I didn't see any packages there at all. Anyway, all of them started looking around, searching for something, and finally the President looked right at me, and asked if I could find some padding because he wanted a little extra protection for the flight."

She then went to the female pilots' dressing area and returned with a sanitary napkin. According to Kisse, Bush was very pleased with the results and later remarked, "I might have to hunch over a little, but that's okay. This'll make those guys eyes pop right out of their heads."

The White House rebuttal stated, "The President wore only regulation olive drab flight gear. The assertion that he would don any kind of theatrical device is pure poppycock."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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