Leeds United to Sell Remaining Players on E Bay

Funny story written by Andy Tattersall

Tuesday, 10 February 2004

In an effort to stabilise the Yorkshire club, Leeds United have taken the drastic steps of offloading their remaining players to other clubs through the internet auction site E Bay.

The club are facing the real prospect of extinction if they do not raise finances soon in a bid to keep creditors from closing down the Premier League side.

Leeds' first option of a new buyer stepping in to save the club has not materialised so as a final attempt to ensure they safety they have decided to offload the whole team in one go.

Leeds Caretaker Manager Eddie Gray said: "It doesn't mean that this is the end of the team. I personally have a couple of young nephews who are capable of knocking the ball about."

"I just need to persuade their mam to let them out of school a few afternoons a week and for me to have them for Saturdays. With them and the ball boys and that lad with the one eye who cleans the toilets - we've got a team," Gray added.

Leeds plan to put the players on the auction site with some names being sold as a team whilst others will be sold separate.

The likes of Mark Viduka, Alan Smith and Paul Robinson are expected to be listed separately with a starting price of anything between five million to 15 million.

Other players such as David Batty and Lucas Radebe will be sold as a team with a reserve price set at around £10.
Leeds originally got the idea from Manchester United Manager Alex Ferguson, who used the auction site to offload unwanted Dutch defender Jaap Stam to Lazio with a ‘Buy it Now' option.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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