Pokemon Toys Turn Evil using Rechargeable Batteries

Written by KendoMonkey

Monday, 9 February 2004

image for Pokemon Toys Turn Evil using Rechargeable Batteries
Light reading before the rampage

TomCal, one of the world's largest toy manufacturers, has been forced to recall many of its lines of autonomous Pokemon robots from shop and homes around the world. Warnings on the cardboard back of the product read that "Do not use re-chargeable batteries in this unit", however many people have been ignoring the warning, which can have dire consequences.

"We tried to make sure everyone knew the risks," says TomCal spokesperson Matt Dolby. "We warned against the use of re-chargeables because of the known adverse affects that they can have...unfortunately, no-one was expecting these kinds of results."

The results Mr Dolby speaks of may be found rampaging towards you right this second with a feverish blood-lust. The toys, it seems, have turned and are out to destroy you.

"It's not true to say that our toys have somehow reverted to being evil...no no. They were *always* evil...but given a regular supply of 1.5V up their arses kept them in a stable condition. 1.2V is no match for these psychos and they will get you."

For now, TomCal is offering free mini Sledge-hammers to combat the situation.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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