The Once Great Soccer Player Cristiano Ronaldo Is Depressed and He May Get Traded

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 15 March 2023

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"Cristiano has to face the fact that he's become a 'Has-Been.' " -ERIC CANTONA

RIYADH, Saudi Arabia - (Sports Satire) - The once fantastic footballer Cristiano Ronaldo has become increasingly more frustrated of late due to the fact that he is just not the same Cristiano Ronaldo of yesteryear.

Reports are that the former Manchester United Red Devils striker has an ingrown toe nail, an elongated right thumb, an undescended left tonsil, and a terribly bruised ego.

Ronaldo, the Portuguese player who wears #7, has been receiving yellow cards like they were free lollipops, and as a result the fans at Mrsool Park have started booing the ever living hell out of him.

Crissy, as his ex-girlfriends call him, has even had several fistfights with fellow teammates, soccer fans, an Uber driver, a Saudi transgender whale, and even an elderly camel who has season tickets to the Al-Nassr Knights home games.

Meanwhile team manager Rudi "The Real Rock" Gomez Gaucho Garcia, recently told his maternal grandmother Socorro Esmeralda Cozumel, 91, that he is considering trading the diva's arrogantly arrogant ass for a cantankerous llama.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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