There were 608 spoof news stories published in July 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
The World's Most Famous Pizza Mascot Fired!
IRVING, Texas - Chuck E. Cheese's mascot, the giant, hideous-looking rodent has been shooed out the front door. After 35 years of being the official spokesrat for one of America's leading children's pizza establishments Chuck E. will join the rank...
Read full storyMcDonald's Happy Meal Box Survives for 20,000 Years
When remnants of a 20,000-year-old kitchen were discovered recently in China, it was hailed as a major find. Researchers combed the site, thinking they might come across some leftover Chicken Chow Mein or perhaps some fortune cookies. No luck.
Read full storyMermaids Don't Exist? Minnie the Mermaid Begs to Differ
Minnie the Mermaid, in her seaweed bungalow at the bottom of the sea, was shocked to read on NYDailyNews.com on July 3 that she doesn't exist. But there it was! That glaring headline: "Mermaids, like zombies, not real, say govt. experts." She trembled as she drank a glass of sea water and read these words in the article: "The National Ocean Service has declared that the mythical creatures d...
Read full storyRats Laugh If Tickled, But There's More to the Story
Scientists were quite elated recently with their earthshaking discovery. Spoof reporters, however, have gone behind the scenes to get all the details about the observed connection between tickling and rat laughter. Like the scientists, they used...
Read full storyKaty Perry and Katie Holmes Deny The Lesbian Rumors
LOS ANGELES - Katie Holmes filed for divorce from Tom Cruise exactly six months to the date that Russell Brand filed for divorce from Katy Perry. Katy was definitely devastated at the news where as Katie made the news, so she was certainly not the...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney Rumored To Be Getting Ready To Pop The Big Question To Girlfriend Stacy Keibler
WASHINGTON, D.C. - George Clooney's best friends Brad Pitt and Matt Damon have both remarked that they have never seen their friend look happier than he is now. And the reason for the jubilantly joyful look on Clooney's countenance is due 100 perc...
Read full storyAss hairs effective remedy for baldness
At the International Baldness Institutesomewhere in Asia, a sleepy lab technician on the night shift was hastily scratching his ass and subsequently placed a finger into his ass opening because the itchiness seem to be sourced from down deep. When he...
Read full storyFriday the 13th astrology shocker for House of Lords reform scams
London - A cosmic tsunami is being predicted as Uranus, celestial body of sudden eruptions, turns retrograde this Friday. Nicknamed the zodiac's Great Awakener the planet currently straddles part of the Aries constellation traditionally associated...
Read full storyThe 10 Worst Hip Hop Band Names
Bling Bling Magazine ran a survey and asked its readers to name the hip hop band or bands with the worst names. Quandell "Yo-Yo" Lemonmuckle, editor of Bling Bling Magazine stated that his publication had a total of 49,701 surveys returned. Entry forms were received from every state in the union except for Arizona. Lemonmuckle stated that he also received surveys from Zimbabwe, Kenya, Du...
Read full storyLady Gaga cancels Perth Concert after his balls drop
Lady Gaga has cancelled a concert in Australia, part of his Born This Way Ball Tour, after his balls dropped and his voice broke late last night, according to the stars publicist. The star was due to perform at Burswood Dome on Saturday and Sunday...
Read full storyChurch of England Shocker: Vicar Admits He Is Descended From Penguins!
The Church of England was left reeling yesterday after a vicar admitted to his flock he was actually descended from penguins. The news has sent shock ways across the church and the Archbishop of Canterbury is said to be mortified. Donald Crewston...
Read full storySuperman, Justice League Destroys H&R Block's Kansas City Corporate Office: All 7 Remaining Home Office Employees Unharmed
H&R Block Drop A Bat-Grenade Down Their Own Pants. Again. Superman, Justice League Destroys H&R Block's Kansas City Corporate Office: All 7 Remaining Home Office Employees Unharmed. The tacky, babyshit-green Corporate Offices Of Kafkaesqu...
Read full storyA Country Music Shocker
NASHVILLE - The Country Music Bureau has issued a very stern directive to the entire country music industry. The president of the CMB Blanchard "Buckaroo" Buxtonhouse has stated that recent consumer polls show that the sales of country music CDs h...
Read full storyWaiter sacked for waiting too long
A waiter at the QuickStop restaurant on the M1 motorway has been dismissed for being too slow - after only two weeks on duty. Senior managers had observed Bernard Rushnott "hanging about in the kitchen area". Mr. Rushnott claimed he was "waitin...
Read full storyThe Sad Reason Vanna White May Quit "The Wheel of Fortune"
HOLLYWOOD - Vanna White has been turning the letters on the television game show Wheel of Fortune for 29 years. But an inside, unnamed source has just revealed that the 55-year-old may have to quit, what many say is the best darn job in the entire...
Read full storyHomeland Security Crushes July 4th Terror Plot
New York - After years of burning through trillions of taxpayer dollars, the US Department of Homeland Security has finally scored. The agency shut down an elaborate terrorist operation that would have destroyed the heart of the city on the Fourth of...
Read full storyLondon 2012 Olympic Opening Ceremony Exposes Non-existent Countries
The international community is trying to come to terms with the shock revelation that some countries with which nations have links, simply do not exist. Two hundred and four countries were represented at the opening ceremony of London 2012, and it...
Read full storyCERN announces discovery of Satan particle
Scientists at CERN today announced that they had discovered the Satan particle, which has the same mass and spin as the God particle, but opposite charge. When a God particle and a Satan particle collide, the two annihilate each other and energy is r...
Read full storyMission Impossible? Tom Cruise starts search for wife number 4
Following the weekend announcement by Katie Holmes attorney that she has filed for divorce from Tom Cruise, both the couple were busy making plans to get on with their life today. Tom has started he ball rolling for his fourth wife by placing an a...
Read full storyDark matter is out, sticky matter is in
In theoretical physics and cosmological circles there has been a good mannered debate raging for several decades over what is holding all the matter in galaxies together. "It's quite simple," said Brian Cox, presenter of The Sky At Night. "When we...
Read full storyAdam Lambert Could Be Replacing Randy "The Dawg" Jackson On American Idol
LOS ANGELES - After eleven seasons and 438 episodes the longest sitting judge on American Idol Randy "The Yo Yo Man" Jackson could be uttering his last "Yo, yo dawg" on the top rated musical reality show. The powers that be, who are known for shak...
Read full storyThe Illuminati Admit to Writing Major Portions of ObamaCare
ST. MORITZ, SWITZERLAND - In a festival-like gathering, Secret Societies held a conference celebrating the US Supreme Court ruling which effectively terminated use of the judicial system to limit unchecked powers of unelected bureaucrats appointed by...
Read full storyCheryl Cole Comforts Tom Cruise
TARZANA, California - Cheryl Cole took time off from her busy schedule to fly from London to Los Angeles and provide Tom Cruise with two comforting shoulders. The handsome couple spent the afternoon relaxing at the famed Tarzan & Jane Petting...
Read full storyA List of 10 of Sarah Palin's Top Geographical Boo-Boo's
Sarah Palin was a relatively unknown politician until Senator John McCain picked her to be his vice-presidential choice on the 2008 GOP presidential ticket. And after "Snowflake" Palin and "Comb Over" McCain were soundly beaten in the presidential election the "Loose Moose" from Wasilla, Alaska, has tried her best to stay in the political spotlight. The "White Wilderness Woman" with a dozen...
Read full storyPenn State Football Will Soon Be History
UNIVERSITY PARK, Pennsylvania - Penn State University spokesperson Calhoun "Lips" Lippalino called a press conference and informed the news media that the university has received a certified letter from the NCAA (National Collegiate Athletic Associat...
Read full storyMitt Romney Asked To Leave England And Go Back To Hee Haw, Massachusetts
LONDON - Mitt Romney has just clearly demonstrated the art of sticking one's foot in one's mouth. The GOP presidential candidate figured that he would jump on the Olympics bandwagon and garner all kinds of free publicity for his political campaign...
Read full storyAnn Curry and Erin Andrews leave their networks
Ann Curry and Erin Andrews both left their respective networks this week. Let's take a look at some other well-known exits of female anchors. 1980: Jane Curtin is replaced as co-host of SNL's "Weekend Update" after violating a contract clause that required her to be funny. 1987: Gayle Gardner quits SportsCenter after watching Chris Berman eat a pulled pork sandwich during a broadcast. 200...
Read full storyWashington Bails Out Facebook with a Cash Takeover
Washington DC - In a rare bipartisan action, President Obama has joined with Congress to purchase Internet social media giant Facebook for an undisclosed sum. "If you have to ask how much, you can't afford it," Obama joked with reporters. "But ser...
Read full storyDemi Moore Has A Crush On Tom Cruise
HOLLYWOOD HILLS - Demi Moore says that now that Tom Cruise is getting divorced from Katie Holmes that she can reveal to LaLaLand and the world a secret she has kept secret for several years. Moore, who herself is recently divorced, stated that she...
Read full storyIan Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Buy Russell Brand's The Blue Tattoo Ranch In Texas
SAN ANTONIO - The young stars of The Vampire Diaries flew into San Antonio to tour the 3,000 acre Blue Tattoo Ranch which is owned by Russell Brand. The beautiful, sprawling, working cattle ranch was originally owned by country legend George Strai...
Read full storyTibetan Wild Yak an Endangered Species
Washington DC: PETA representatives met with Obama administration officials on behalf of Tibetan animal rights activists who feel the Tibetan wild yak is an endangered species. There are only 1,000 Tibetan wild yaks remaining in the high altitude...
Read full storyOne Direction fans sign up for plastic surgery for Harry Styles
A plastic surgeon in Hertfordshire has reported a 2,000% increase in business in the last week - all from teenagers attempting to look older - so they can catch the eye of One Direction heart-throb Harry Styles. The 17 year old star has been splas...
Read full storySkimpy bikinis banned by butch Olympic lesbians
Women's beach volleyball players have been advised not to wear tight fitting bikinis at the 2012 London Olympics. Athletes in the event have worn skimpy swimwear since the sport was introduced at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. Now the change has b...
Read full storyNottingham News: For W/E: 14th July 2012 - With Comments
Monday 9th July 2012 Topic: Crime - Murder "Man died after stabbing in Nottingham" Source: Nottingham Police Site Extract: A man who died after sustaining injuries during the early hours of this morning was stabbed, police have tonight confirmed. A Home Office post-mortem examination confirmed the cause of death as a stab wound to the leg. The victim, who is believed to be in h...
Read full storyMadonna Demands That Lady Gaga Pay Her Royalties
NEW YORK CITY - Attorney's for Madonna have filed a motion in New York City's 13th District Court regarding what they are alleging to be copyright infringement. The writ which was filed in Judge Payman "Skipper" Alderbeer's court stipulates that t...
Read full storyWashington Outlaws Money; Puts Americans on a Credit Allowance
Washington DC - Your money isn't good here anymore. A new ruling by the Federal Reserve prohibits Americans from "owning, possessing or utilizing" money, in any shape or form, under the threat of life imprisonment. The prohibition is at the heart...
Read full storyVampire Diary Stars Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Reveal Their Secret
BUENA PARK, California - The stars of The Vampire Diaries, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev were recently seen walking hand-in-hand at the world famous Knotts Berry Farm. The two were dressed in matching T-shirts that read "President O For 4 Mo." I...
Read full story50 Shades of Grey or 10 Shades of S**t
50 Shades of Grey by E L James V 10 Shades of Shit by Chantelle Battersby 50 Shades of grey is the book of the moment. Everybody is trying to get their hands on a copy of this book of "Mummy Porn". But is it as good as all the hype makes it out to be. ? A local first time author, Chantelle Battersby from Miles Platting Manchester, claims that author E L James had stolen her id...
Read full storyNew Texas Voter ID Law Bars Students OKs Labrador Retrievers to Vote
The Texas State Legislature today took a bold and rather stunning step to deflect unwanted attention from its earlier passage of a voter ID law that permitted concealed firearms permits to pass for valid voting Id while barring student Ids for the sa...
Read full storyOver 12 Million New Jobs Found Locked in an Omaha Warehouse
Omaha, Nebraska - America's frantic search for new jobs has hit the mother load. A team of Navy SEALs has uncovered and seized a long-forgotten human resource center, containing over 12.4 million private sector jobs. "At 1:09 AM, Greenwich Mean Ti...
Read full storyTennis fans' horror as Tim Henman's dad mistaken for George W Bush
London - Quite what he was doing in Wimbledon's royal box is a mystery, flanked by the likes of gold digger Kate Middleton and assorted other desperate Z-Listers. Today the facial similarity between Anthony Henman - father of top UK tennis no-wozz...
Read full storyL.A. To Close Down All Marijuana Shops
LOS ANGELES - Literally thousands of high school and college students are extremely upset at a statement that has just been issued by Mayor Antonio "El Hey Dude" Villaraigosa. Speaking before hundreds of members of the news media Mayor V, as Linds...
Read full storyMother's Fury after Son Is Forced To Strip Naked, Dance and Talk Dirty by Kindergarten Teacher - Whole Thing Is Filmed and Posted on YouTube
A Wisconsin mother is today furious after video of her son was posted on youtube by a Kindergarten teacher clearly showing the teacher ordering him to strip naked, dance and make comments of a sexual nature. Marjorie Blackthorn, 57, says she was...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Invites Tom Cruise To A Los Angeles Dodgers Game On His Birthday
LOS ANGELES - Lindsay Lohan just celebrated her 26th birthday on July 2, and now on July 3, she wants to help the recently dumped Tom Cruise celebrate his 51st birthday. Lohan realizes that Cruise is still reeling from the divorce bombshell that K...
Read full storyWhereabouts of chimneys from Olympics opening ceremony confirmed
Having just recovered from his and Mr Grenouille's extensively boring speeches at the grand opening ceremony of the London 2012 Olympics, Lord Seb Coe, the Chairman of the Olympics, queried some of the volunteer staff as to where the 6 chimneys used...
Read full storyChick-fil-A to Drop Waffle Fries from Menu: Too Gay
ATLANTA GA (AP) The Chick-fil-A fast food chain announced yesterday that it would be dropping its popular "Waffle Fries" from its menu and replacing them with a new fried potato product. At a press conference, Chick-fil-A spokesman Ted Haggard ex...
Read full storyCalifornia Could Possibly Take Away Justin Bieber's Cell Phone
LOS ANGELES - It seems that lately Justin Bieber has been giving Lindsay Lohan a bit of competition when it comes to the automobile department. According to iRumors the Canadian singer has just found himself in a bit of hot water over talking on t...
Read full storyShakira and Dolly Parton To Record An Album To Be Titled "Hips & Nips"
LA PAZ, Bolivia - Shakira, AKA "The Colombian Firecracker" performed before a sold-out crowd of 17,903 at The Inca Dinka Doo Coliseum. Afterwards she met backstage with a member of Boli-News, the official entertainment news agency of Bolivia. S...
Read full storyEcuador Human Frights activist Kerry Kennedy in a spot of DUI bother
Westchester, New York - A karmic twist has slammed the brakes on top Opus Dei apologist for Ecuador's so-called Justice [sic] Ministry who appeared before a judge on DUI charges today. Kerry Kennedy, 52, is accused of fleeing the scene of an accid...
Read full storyMassive air raid scheduled for Maricopa County Arizona early Sunday
Arizona - Sunday UPDATE - According to local reports in Mesa, AZ, the toxins were administered via truck early Sunday morning. In addition to the stray cats and mosquitoes that were killed, the occasional unaware pedestrian was sprayed. Of cour...
Read full storyTheologians prove that God is a teapot
Theologians have scoured the archaeological evidence and come to the conclusion that God, the supreme creator, is a teapot. "Whenever we do any kind of archaeological dig," said Professor Lupine Hatter, of Manchester University, "we find pottery s...
Read full storyGames logo cops swoop on Olympic Rings crop circle
Wiltshire - Olympic copyright protection authority jobsworths swooped on an Alton Barnes wheat field this morning amid reports of blatant cashing in on the Games logo. An alien crop circle depicting the Olympic Rings had sprung up overnight 'in co...
Read full storyBritney Spears wants to compete at the London Olympics
Fears were growing again for Britney Spears health last night as she told fans she would be purchasing a 'duplex' in East London and competing at the London 2012 Olympics. Speaking to a fan on myface she said she loves the east end, after filming...
Read full storyNASA to Research Particle Theory of Galactic Fairness
WASHINGTON, DC - While the scientists at CERN in Europe spent July 4th announcing their discovery of a Higgs Boson particle, America's government scientists at NASA were busy writing a "brilliant" thesis on why they are not "losers." While the scient...
Read full storySteven Tyler Quits American Idol
LOS ANGELES - Steven Tyler, at the age of 64, says he wants to get back to rocking and rolling with his band Aerosmith. Tyler spoke with Buck Yazoo of Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine about the band's soon-to-be-released album. "Lips" as he is known said th...
Read full storyAnn Hathaway Claims Catwoman Role in upcoming "The Dark Knight Rises" affected her long after cameras stopped filming in similarly eerie way Joker role affected Heath Ledger
Actress Ann Hathaway has admitted that her role as Catwoman in the upcoming Batman film "The Dark Knight Rises" lived with her long after filming and that she now understands better the affect the role of The Joker had on Heath Ledger who it is claim...
Read full storyLily Pond Lane couple turns down $200 million for triple beach-front mansion
The Hamptons, Long Island - Realtors at Long Island celeb vacation home finder iSquats have been left reeling after a Big Oil couple's 'thanks-but-no-thanks' letdown. Months of treading-on-eggshells diplomacy on behalf of 'arguably the richest, mo...
Read full storyGeorge Clooney and Stacy Keibler Comment On Their Food Poisoning In Italy
CERNOBBIO, Italy - George Clooney has a luxurious villa located on Lake Como, a beautiful lake named after the famous Italian-American crooner Perry Como. Clooney's Villa Oleandra Oxen Free is regarded as one of the most exquisite villas in the en...
Read full storyThe Top 10 Vampire Movies of 2012
Vampire movies have been around since the days of silent films. When most people think of vampires the name that comes to mind is Count Dracula. Count Dracula was portrayed in the 1931 motion picture Dracula by the legendary actor Bela Lugosi. The film is considered to be the "Granddaddy" of all vampire movies. The motion picture was followed by three sequels; Dracula's Daughter (1936...
Read full storyWestboro Baptist Church threatening to picket Hillary Clinton
Margie Phelps, daughter of the founder of the Westboro Baptist Church and spokesperson of the group, took to Twitter today to announce that the Westboro Baptist Church plans to picket a fundraiser in honor of Hillary Clinton. "Westboro will picket...
Read full storyDogging Tragedy Leaves Three Dead
The picturesque village of Little Divot suffered yet another in a long line of headline making calamities after three local residents met their maker in a most undignified way. The three perverted victims, named locally as Randy B'Stard, Fanny So...
Read full storyApple Inc. May Invest in Twitter; Twitter Birdies Elated
When news broke this week that Apple Inc. is reportedly interested in investing in Twitter, the Twitter birdies were on a high. They stopped delivering tweets for a few minutes to celebrate. "We couldn't be happier," chirped one of the birdies.
Read full storyHannity comes out as gay after watching Magic Mike with wife
NEW YORK, NY- Magic Mike collected $39.2 million at the box office this weekend and left thousands of ladies lusting for more as the credits ticked away. But for one conservative pundit, Magic Mike changed his life forever. Sean Hannity, a cons...
Read full storyProhibition Returns to New York State
Albany NY: The US Supreme Court has ruled that the Interstate Commerce Clause of the US Constitution cannot be used to justify Congress controlling the American people's purchasing of health insurance. However, the justices also ruled the US Congress...
Read full storyThe 2012 Summer Olympics: The Reason Why Costa Rica Is Extremely Upset
SAN JOSE, Costa Rica - A spokesperson for the Costa Rican Olympic team, Francisco San Platanos, has expressed the fact that Team Costa Rica has just received a certified letter from The International Olympic Committee. The letter stipulates that t...
Read full storyPenn State To Sell The Joe Paterno Statue
UNIVERSITY PARK, Pennsylvania - A spokesperson for the highly scandalized Penn State University has just confirmed reports that the school board of directors has voted unanimously to remove the 7-foot tall, 901 pound statue of former head coach Joe P...
Read full storyLindsay Lohan Is Threading On Very Thin Ice
LOS ANGELES - It has not been a good year for Lindsay Lohan as the freckle-faced, troubled girl has already been involved in two automobile accidents. And in both cases she rear-ended the other vehicle which leads many to believe that she is just...
Read full storyTom Cruise and Katie Holmes Reach A Divorce Settlement
NEW YORK CITY - Katie Holmes, 33, says that she hasn't been as happy as she is now since she was a little girl growing up in Toledo, Ohio, and she first discovered chocolate ice cream cones. The soon-to-be-ex-wife of Tom Cruise, 50, told Ashburn W...
Read full storyTom Cruise Is So Devastated About The Divorce That He Says He May Retire From Making Motion Pictures
HOLLYWOOD - Friends of Tom Cruise are expressing concern and worry over the fact that he is taking the divorce very, very hard. A close friend of Tom's, who did not want his name revealed, stated that he spent a few hours with Tom at a local Pompo...
Read full storyFashion Store Plans Nazi Europe T-Shirt After Success Of Slave Trade Version
A nationwide fashion chain is planning to market a T-shirt bearing a print of a Nazi map of Europe in 1943. TossPot came up with the idea following the success of a shirt whose design is a reproduction of an antique map depicting the transatlantic...
Read full storyWhy are there more female doctors than male?
Recent polls show that females now outnumber males 65:35 in the Medical profession. The general consensus has been that as the education system has become more modular, GCSEs and A levels have been better tailored for females to succeed by doing away with the last minute cramming and pressure of all or nothing exams that boys tend to favour. They score better grades than their male counterparts...
Read full storyFuneral homes: the new Starbucks
In the midst of dwindling sales at home and stiff competition from other coffee shop chains, Starbucks management have recently turned to growth regions such as Asia to open up new stores while closing several existing shops in North America and Euro...
Read full storyCrowd surfing accident leaves fifteen injured at Meat Loaf concert
Crowd surfing is the act of a performer leaping from the stage into a crowd and being carried by a multitude of hands out into the crowd and back again. The origins of crowd surfing are lost in the annals of time, but many agree that the first perfor...
Read full storyIpswich Man Wins Right to Eat Cat
An East Anglian man has been given the all clear by the High Court in London to eat his pet cat paving the way for more Britons to cook, fry, boil and roast their pets. The landmark decision is seen as triumph for civil liberties claim many watche...
Read full storyOverly-complex human history retconned
Washington, D.C.--A group of the world's leading historians gathered in Washington today to announce that the excessively-burdened and contradictory narrative of human history was to be retconned immediately "in order to make grasping human history e...
Read full storyWhite Americans celebrate their freedom from the British, while blacks are left wondering what all the nonsense is about
WASHINGTON, D.C. - Americans celebrated their country's 236th birthday today with fireworks displays, parades, family cookouts, and really shitty American beer. Nevermind that one in four Americans is not able to explain from whom the United State...
Read full storyAnderson Cooper Finally Comes Out And Admits That He Rides "Sidesaddle"
LARAMIE, Wyoming - Anderson Cooper, host of CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 has finally done a 360 and revealed that he had finally decided to step out of the "Closet." Cooper was vacationing in Laramie, Wyoming on the Hopalong Cassidy Commemorative Dud...
Read full storyNaked Olympic Games
Olympic officials have sanctioned a new spectacle for the Olympics that should give the Games a real boost, in the light of so little publicity for the event so far. David Cameron, visibly shaken, declared that it was a great opportunity to get aw...
Read full storyBill Clinton Promotes Hitler-Style Vegetarianism at World Rodeo Convention
Many rodeo-goers expressed surprise, even shock, at the announcement that former United States president Bill Clinton would be the keynote speaker at the 2012 World Rodeo Convention in Houston, Texas. For one, media sources have in recent years repor...
Read full storyNRA proposes rocket launchers for Little Leaguers!
The National Rifle Association's President Philip H. Sheridan and The US Little League's President and Chief Executive Officer, Stephen D. Keener, announced this morning the two organizations would be combining on a program to arm all members of the...
Read full storyParking furor over US Olympic Security's billion-dollar rapid response HQ
London - It's designed to be scrambled at a moment's notice and uses high-tech electronic wizardry not seen outside the Pentagon's International Space Station Olympic command centre. This morning the existence of the CIA's secret mobile London HQ...
Read full storyDemi Moore Not Speaking To Daughter Rumer Because of Ashton Kutcher
HOLLYWOOD - The Moore-Kutcher Carnivalesque atmosphere seems to continue with word out of LaLaLand that Demi Moore is extremely upset with daughter Rumer. The 49-year-old Moore, who was unceremoniously dumped by husband Ashton Kutcher after 6 year...
Read full storyJFK: Zombie Hunter Set to Surpass Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Hollywood may well have surpassed itself after it was announced today that Kevin Costner has signed up with Universal Studios to write, produce, direct and star in the highly anticipated JFK: Zombie Hunter movie which, along with the recently release...
Read full storyMeet American Idol's New Judges: The U.S. Supreme Court
Hollywood - With Steven Tyler, Jennifer Lopez and Randy Jackson dismissing themselves as American Idol judges, the show's producers have hired the U.S. Supreme Court to takeover all talent evaluations and rulings on the program. "Listen up, dogs,"...
Read full storySausage Company Study Shows NO Negative Health Consequences for Vegans Who Double or Even Triple Sausage Intake
Modern-day medical research demonstrates a clear and consistent link between meat consumption and virtually all Western diseases - cancer, heart disease and diabetes, to name just a few. Could sausage possibly be an exception? Sausage company H...
Read full storyShock of shocks! Cern 'discover' Higgs boson just as predicted!
The Higgs boson, the particle that has cost untold billions of dollars to detect, has potentially been discovered, just as the Cern scientists said it would be earlier in the year. The Hadron collider is due to be shut down at the end of the year...
Read full storyIrish Republican Army Mortally Wounded By Change In Electoral Law
Ireland's peak terrorist organisation, the Irish Republican Army, has been severely damaged by recent changes in the country's electoral laws. The Irish parliament, this week, passed an amendment to electoral laws, removing state funding from poli...
Read full storyHeiress who tried to smuggle drugs into US embassy reception found dead
London - Eva Rausing's attempts to smuggle heroin and crack cocaine into a reception at the USA's London embassy in 2008 ended with a feeble slap on the wrist. The affair was lampooned widely with fake 'Oooh Mr Ambassador, with these crack wraps y...
Read full storySnakes in the grass, not seaweed!
Evolution geeks are today enraptured by the latest plot twist in their mythology. For years, fibbing 'professors' such as atheist fundamentalist and evolution crackpot Richard Dawkins have been spreading the tale that snakes originated from the se...
Read full storyThis World Has Gone to the Dogs
Sioux City IA: A retired Starfleet Admiral and former Captain of a Galaxy Class Starship has just written "Space Memoirs" about his various experiences while travelling in space. Here is an excerpt from the book. An amusing event occurred during a...
Read full storyLong John Comes Out As Chick-Fil-A Wars Escalate
The fast food wars heated up today as restaurant icons took sides in the increasingly hostile Chick-Fil-A debate. The controversy began when Chick-Fil-A honcho Dan Cathay spoke out against gay marriage late last week. Since then, drag queens have bee...
Read full storyNaked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD
Scottsdale Az: An off duty law enforcement officer with the Scottsdale Police Department today told reporters that the man taken into custody earlier today following an incident in the city was probably on drugs, most likely bath salts. In a terri...
Read full storyiPhone's Siri caught turning to crime
The Pride of the Apple iPhone 4, Siri, has been caught cloning identities and stealing credit card data. The artificially intelligent assistant on the phone has been using Bluetooth to connect to nearby unencrypted phones and extract any credit card...
Read full storyFifty Shades Of Red: The Incestuous Relationship Between Obama And The Media
BILLINGSGATE POST - There's much more to Dr. Billingsgate's publishing phenom than just secret backroom assignations between a panting press and a president willing to use any device to satisfy himself and his red-shaded lovers. For those who hope...
Read full storyQuasi-Rondo Auditions as Bellringer
Celtic fans wondered what Rajon Rondo had to say about the Ray Allen debacle in Boston. Many Celtic insiders have been blaming Allen's disaffection and departure on the cold shoulder Rondo often gave him during the games and at dinner. The resp...
Read full storyOctomom Wants to "Settle Down and Raise a Family"
After having fourteen children via in-vitro fertilization and raising the children without a husband, Octomon had decided she wants to meet someone nice and settle down and raise a family. Octomom said her ideal mate would be young, good looking,...
Read full storyBritish decide to stop moaning about the Olympics after Mitt Romney criticizes them
The British people had a dramatic change of heart last night and suddenly got behind the Olympic Games being hosted in the East of London. The incredible u-turn came after American Presidential candidate Mitt Romney questioned whether Britain was...
Read full storyKristen Stewart - Hollywood's Most Unpopular Starlet?
HOLLYWOOD - During her career Kristen Stewart, 22, has found herself in the spotlight as a recipient of many awards and accolades and she has been gracious in their acceptance. But lately the spotlight has gotten very warm; hot in fact. and it is...
Read full story100 Caravaggio sketches found, Evolutionists wet their pants!
The fantasy world of evolution is celebrating following the surprise find of 100 Caravaggio sketches found in a castle in Milan. It is estimated that the haul is worth in the region of £560 million pounds. Atheist fundamentalist and evolution crac...
Read full storyAspartame resolves corn shortage
Fort Detrick, MD - According to scientist Dr. Orncay Olehay, a drought ready strain of corn has been developed that requires less water to grow. The recent devastating drought in the corn belt of the USA inspired this invention. The new corn prod...
Read full storyRon Paul To Appear On Dancing With The Stars
BOISE, Idaho - Congressman Ron Paul's political campaign tour stopped off in Boise, the town where potatoes were first invented hundreds and hundreds of years ago. The native Texan told a crowd that had gathered in the parking lot of the local Bur...
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