Funeral homes: the new Starbucks

Written by foodallyoucan

Thursday, 12 July 2012

In the midst of dwindling sales at home and stiff competition from other coffee shop chains, Starbucks management have recently turned to growth regions such as Asia to open up new stores while closing several existing shops in North America and Europe.

Much recently, corporate thinking in Starbucks have tried a new tack. Once, a top-level executive of this American icon recently attended a wake of a close relative at a high-end funeral home. He observed that guests there were drinking a lot of coffee and staying for an average of two hours per visit.

He embarked on an idea: why not make a list of high-end funeral homes all over North America and pitch them a business proposal of tying up their premises with a Starbucks outlet. Whether a full service or a take out counter (depending on the feasibility of the funeral home), a starbucks will be there to service the perk-up coffee needs of grieving guests.

There was unanimous board approval at Starbucks. And now two Starbucks at Southern USA funeral homes are opening soon with plans to open more in California and New York states. Witness the rebirth of Starbucks.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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