Mermaids Don't Exist? Minnie the Mermaid Begs to Differ

Funny story written by Gail Farrelly

Saturday, 7 July 2012

image for Mermaids Don't Exist? Minnie the Mermaid Begs to Differ
"Do mermaids exist? According to Sir Roger de Coverly, 'There is much to be said on both sides...'"

Minnie the Mermaid, in her seaweed bungalow at the bottom of the sea, was shocked to read on on July 3 that she doesn't exist. But there it was! That glaring headline: "Mermaids, like zombies, not real, say govt. experts."

She trembled as she drank a glass of sea water and read these words in the article: "The National Ocean Service has declared that the mythical creatures do not exist after Animal Planet aired a seemingly realistic TV show in May about the half-human, half-fish sea creatures."

Then Minnie sputtered and screamed, "I'm close to 90, and they're telling me I don't exist. Glug, glug, glug -- this is an outrage."

Later that day, though, a visit from her friend, SpongeBob SquarePants (who brought along his pet snail, Gary), helped her to calm down. Gary gave Minnie a boost when he told her she looked absolutely spectacular in her new Juicy Couture bathing suit of sparkling green.

But SpongeBob had even more comforting words: "Have you ever met anyone who believes anything that the government says? C'mon. Fuhgeddaboutit."

So she did.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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