Naked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD

Written by Skoob1999

Sunday, 1 July 2012

image for Naked Scottsdale Carjacker Was Probably On Bath Salts - Scottsdale PD
This Man Probably Uses Bath Salts - Like The Reporters Grandmother

Scottsdale Az: An off duty law enforcement officer with the Scottsdale Police Department today told reporters that the man taken into custody earlier today following an incident in the city was probably on drugs, most likely bath salts.

In a terrifying sequence of events which left several people injured, two seriously - including a pregnant woman with two broken legs - the arrested individual allegedly drove a vehicle in a carelss manner, causing several collisions.

The man then crashed his vehicle and was ejected through the windshield onto the pavement. At that point he carjacked a second vehicle, hauling the female occupant from the driver's seat before making off in the vehicle, causing several more collisions, before totalling it in a collision with a utility pole.

What followed was bizarre, to say the least.

The man then stripped naked, save for his socks, and clambered onto the roof of the vehicle and began singing, chanting and gesticulating wildly, before he was eventually taken into custody without further incident.

"I can confirm that a naked man was taken into custody earlier today," SPD spokesman Don Osmond announced. "He's currently being evaluated by psychiatrists. Off the record, I think it's safe to say that he was probably under the influence of drugs. My guess would be bath salts, given how he stripped naked. It's been a lousy day here in Scottsdale, but I guess we can all give thanks to the good Lord that at least this individual didn't run around biting the faces off down and outs. Or go on a wild shooting spree with a hunting rifle. Other than that it's been a pretty normal kind of a day here."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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