Written by El Presidente

Monday, 2 July 2012

image for JFK: Zombie Hunter Set to Surpass Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter
Back, And To The Left, Back, And To The Left

Hollywood may well have surpassed itself after it was announced today that Kevin Costner has signed up with Universal Studios to write, produce, direct and star in the highly anticipated JFK: Zombie Hunter movie which, along with the recently released Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter flick, will confuse and give a new slant on history for millions of impressionable kids.

The movie will be set in 1958 and will chronicle the former Presidents efforts to juggle a political career and his battles with the undead that rise up and threaten to derail his rise to power and eventual Presidency.

The movie will culminate when Kennedy is shot, in error, by Lee Harvey Oswald, Kennedy's sidekick and protégée, who was actually trying to shoot a Zombie in the crowd, that fateful day in Dallas.

Costner told gathered Entertainment reporters that there were many similarities between Kennedy and Lincoln.

"Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846 and that John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946? Did you know that Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860 and that John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960? Did you also know the names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters? Did you know both Presidents were shot on a Friday? Did you know Lincoln's Secretary was named Kennedy and that Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln? And did you know that they both battled fictional and mythical undead supernatural beings?" said Costner, his voice croaking with emotion and sweat dripping from his brow.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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