Olympic officials have sanctioned a new spectacle for the Olympics that should give the Games a real boost, in the light of so little publicity for the event so far.
David Cameron, visibly shaken, declared that it was a great opportunity to get away from 'the fucking mess' he had made of things. He was also annoyed at the attention given to Boris Johnson who is becoming his rival for the Premiership. Plans to drive austerity measures through for the London Mayor are in the pipeline and include compulsory shaven heads for all Mayors.
Jeremy Hunt already writhing at the terrible error that had the American stars and stripes replacing the British flag for the Football tournament, had the misfortune to ring a bell which disintegrated - it had been clearly sabotaged by terrorists.
So to redirect public opinion away from total shambolic cock ups Naked Olympics are being introduced.
'We want to get away from Cock Ups' said the Hunt 'ladies volley ball will now be naked.' The Sun has exclusive rights to photograph the stars in training in a bid to boost their sales. 'We will keep our readers abreast of all the naked truth' said editor Clara Butt from her prison cell.
