There were 601 spoof news stories published in August 2012. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Angelina Jolie Wants Custody of Michael Jackson's Kids

Funny story: Angelina Jolie Wants Custody of Michael Jackson's Kids

NEW YORK CITY - Angelina Jolie has made it known that she would like to adopt Michael Jackson's children Paris, Prince, and Blanket. Jolie and her fiancé Brad Pitt already have six children but the actress stressed that Kate Gosselin has eight and...

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Arizona Bans The Hit Song "Call Me Maybe"

Funny story: Arizona Bans The Hit Song "Call Me Maybe"

PHOENIX - Governor Jan Brewer acting on the advice of her good friend and political supporter Sheriff Joe "Pinky" Arpaio has taken steps to issue a song band for her state. The governor recently met with Arpaio, the self-proclaimed toughest lawman...

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Mars Rover Transmits Photos of Martians Having Orgies

Funny story: Mars Rover Transmits Photos of Martians Having Orgies

No wonder the rover is called Curiosity! NASA was delighted to receive the racy photos, with one official proclaiming, "Some folks think this outer space stuff is just dull science. Wait till they get a peek at these eye-popping photos. Whoopee!...

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Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

Funny story: Rob Pattinson Is First Vampire to Ring Opening Bell at NY Stock Exchange

The staid institution may never be the same after Tuesday's history-making event. Some onlookers reported that Pattinson, wearing a Gucci suit and sporting a rather conservative hairdo, looked more like a Wall Street executive than a vampire.

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Peacock on the Prowl in Queens, NY

Funny story: Peacock on the Prowl in Queens, NY

Yep, there he was, strutting around, proud as a ... well, you know. Queens residents weren't pleased. "There goes the neighborhood," one was heard to remark. Apparently the peacock "escaped" from a local high school agricultural program. He makes no apologies for his flight to freedom. A Spoof reporter who knows peacock prose interviewed her subject in a Queens park. She said tha...

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Woman Delivers Triplets While Bungee Jumping

Funny story: Woman Delivers Triplets While Bungee Jumping

CANON CITY, Colorado - Maddie Jo Ketzlinko, 27, and her grandmother Gretchen Batboxette, 73, were visiting the nationally famous Royal Gorge. Mrs. Ketzlinko who is 8 months, 3 weeks, and 6 days pregnant told her granny that she wanted to bungee ju...

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Prince Harry caught naked in showers with Usain Bolt

Funny story: Prince Harry caught naked in showers with Usain Bolt

Photos emerged last night on a leading entertainment website of bonny Prince Harry completely naked in the showers with Double Double Olympic Gold medallist Insane Bolt. The Palace blocked usage of the images in local paper The Windsor Times, but...

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Flash Mob Teens Met By Flash Mob Police Dogs

Funny story: Flash Mob Teens Met By Flash Mob Police Dogs

HACKENSACK, New Jersey - A group of about 20 teenagers who went into Stefano Silvestri's Shirt Shop got the surprise of their young lives. The teens thought that they could just barge in and help themselves to whatever shirts they wanted free of c...

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Ian Somerhalder Pulls a Britney and Shaves His Head Bald

Funny story: Ian Somerhalder Pulls a Britney and Shaves His Head Bald

VENICE BEACH, CA - Vampire Diaries star Ian Somerhalder has reportedly shaved his head bald according to sources close to the actor. It is not clear what may have prompted such a drastic decision on his part, but there is one demographic that is ext...

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The Dallas Cowboys To Sign Olympic Champion Usain Bolt, The Fastest Man In The World

Funny story: The Dallas Cowboys To Sign Olympic Champion Usain Bolt, The Fastest Man In The World

DALLAS - Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones is so happy he was actually seen doing somersaults by several members of his Cowboy Stadium cleaning staff. Jones, who eats, sleeps, and drinks Cowboy blue spoke with Rufus Reno of Sports Balls Illustrated...

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Yogurt Rescues the Greek Economy

Funny story: Yogurt Rescues the Greek Economy

Athens - Don't stick a fork in Greece. Use a spoon instead, because the debt-riddled nation is about to emerge as Europe's economic powerhouse, thanks to booming sales of Greek yogurt. "Greek yogurt has more protein than regular yogurt. It tastes...

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Political Facebook - President Obama and Vice-President Biden Talking About Paul Ryan

POLITICAL FACEBOOK President Obama: Hey Joey, did you see who "Old Mittens" finally picked to be his vice-presidential running mate? 8:01 a.m. Vice-President Biden: Yeah Barry, I just heard about it on CNN. And let me say that today is our lucky day. 8:05 a.m. President Obama: You got that right bud. Paul Ryan? Can you believe that out of all of the fairly good choices the old Mormon ha...

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A Series of Truly Disgusting, Sexually Explicit Jokes for Children With a Low Reading Age

Funny story: A Series of Truly Disgusting, Sexually Explicit Jokes for Children With a Low Reading Age

Following the news of the decline in the number of pass grades in English Literature, the Stoodents Younion of Grate Britten have commissioned a re-print of the Blyton Book of Smut for distribution to all state schools. The following jokes are a random sample taken from it: A lady goes to the Police Station. "Can I help you?" says the policeman. "I hope so" says the lady. "You see, a man has...

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TMZ website shows proof that Prince Harry has a red star tattooed on his rear

Funny story: TMZ website shows proof that Prince Harry has a red star tattooed on his rear

The latest snaps of Prince Harry in his hotel suite in Las Vegas have been published on the TMZ website, and show that he sports a bright red star tattoo on his backside. The significance of the tattoo is not known for sure, but that has not stopp...

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Derek Hough Denies The Gay Rumors

Funny story: Derek Hough Denies The Gay Rumors

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Derek "The Dancing Dude" Hough has said that ever since he started dancing at a very young age people have naturally assumed that he rode sidesaddle. He says that nothing could be farther from the truth. The Dancing With The Stars...

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Lance Armstrong announces new challenge after doping charges

Funny story: Lance Armstrong announces new challenge after doping charges

Seven times Tour De France winner Lance Armstrong today addressed the media for the first time since revealing he will not fight the doping charges brought against him by the USADA (US Anti-Doping Agency), and instead he will actually be cycling to t...

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Clint Eastwood's GOP Convention Speech Helped President Obama

Funny story: Clint Eastwood's GOP Convention Speech Helped President Obama

TAMPA - Clint Eastwood showed everyone at the Republican National Convention and millions of television viewers that he may be a legendary Hollywood icon, but he sure ain't no political speaker. The man who starred in The Good, The Bad, and The Ug...

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Russell Brand Says He Misses Ex-Girlfriend Kate Gosselin's 8 Kids

LOS ANGELES - Russell Brand called up Ling Chow Rangoon with iRumors and told her that he wants her to let everyone know that he is sorry and really regrets his little recent indiscretion with Kat Von D. He stated that he had no idea that it would...

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Tiddlywinks to become an Olympic sport in 2016!

Funny story: Tiddlywinks to become an Olympic sport in 2016!

The IOC have confirmed the fact that Tiddlywinks, Snakes & Ladders, Ludo & Scrabble will all become Olympic sports in 2016. Scrabble seems to be a slight problem because of the language barrier, but as usual Seb Coe got his way and forced to...

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London Olympics: More than half athletes warned for supernatural doping

Funny story: London Olympics: More than half athletes warned for supernatural doping

Warnings have been issued to more than half of all athletes competing at the London Olympic Games for exploiting supernatural performance enhancing stimulants. Last July, the act of "Asking God for divine intervention" was added to the list of pr...

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Anger As Pussy Riot Vatican Gig Cancelled

Funny story: Anger As Pussy Riot Vatican Gig Cancelled

There was anger and condemnation today from the Vatican, over the jailing of little known punk band Pussy Riot in Russia. The group was booked to play at the Popes 'Jesus Rocks' benefit concert next weekend, but the sentencing of the ladies in Mos...

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Nightsticks vs Vibrators: NYPD Cracks Down on Dildo Dealers

Funny story: Nightsticks vs Vibrators: NYPD Cracks Down on Dildo Dealers

New York - A mixed squad of undercover and uniformed police has broken up "a sex ring" that was attempting to distribute "vibrating devices" in "broad daylight" at locations in Rockefeller Center and the Meatpacking District. The disrupted giveawa...

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Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Funny story: Spoof Horoscopes for September 2012

Aries March 21st - April 19th Your must win at any cost attitude must be kerbed this September, for the sake of the less violent people around you, and to help prevent the high risk levels from the 4th to the 11th, of your making yourself look a bigger prat than usual. Especially if fail to think before talking! Your silent but deadly passing of wind, will reach new heights around the 14th,...

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Hope Solo Says Maksim Chmerkovskiy Angrily Bit Her Toes

Funny story: Hope Solo Says Maksim Chmerkovskiy Angrily Bit Her Toes

NEW YORK CITY - U.S. Women's Olympic Team goalie Hope Solo was in the "Big Apple" on a book signing tour of her new book Goooooooalllll! - The Hope Solo Memoirs. She was asked by Rufus Reno with Sports Balls Illustrated Daily about a chapter in th...

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Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski To Star In "Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Werewolves of Walla Walla

Funny story: Paul Hogan and Linda Kozlowski To Star In "Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Werewolves of Walla Walla

HOLLYWOOD - Noted Australian director Kittles McLeavenworth has just announced that Paul Hogan and his wife Linda Kozlowski will be appearing in the film Crocodile Dundee Vs. The Werewolves of Walla Walla. The movie will be the sixth installment i...

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Romney reveals more Bain Capital 'lessons for success'

Funny story: Romney reveals more Bain Capital 'lessons for success'

New York - Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney says he ran out of room in a recent Wall Street Journal article in which he attempted to connect his business experience at Bain Capital with the qualities he would need to be a good president.

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Russell Brand Caught Tongue Wrestling With Kat Von D

Funny story: Russell Brand Caught Tongue Wrestling With Kat Von D

HOLLYWOOD - Russell Brand is reportedly still upset that he was not invited to be a special guest of Queen Elizabeth II, during the Summer Olympics in London. Prior to the Olympics, Brand had bragged to his girlfriend Kate Gosselin that he was cer...

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Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Peta Murgatroyd May Leave Dancing With The Stars

Funny story: Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Peta Murgatroyd May Leave Dancing With The Stars

HOLLYWOOD - One of the most popular professional dancers on the hit reality dance show Dancing With The Stars has dropped a hint as to his future. Maksim Chmerkovskiy, who is known as the "Bad Boy of The Ballroom" mentioned to Tahiti Zeppelin with...

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Lance Armstrong never took drugs, just performance enhancers!

Funny story: Lance Armstrong never took drugs, just performance enhancers!

Lance Armstrong has called the rumours surrounding his so-called drug taking during the Tour De France as complete and utter nonsense! But he does admit to taking perfomance enhancers before the Tour and during it too and these are certainly not drug...

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Paul Ryan to Seniors: Please Drop Dead

Funny story: Paul Ryan to Seniors: Please Drop Dead

Arlington National Cemetery - The Republican's newly named vice presidential nominee has some patriotic advice for America's elderly. He'd like them to stop breathing. Introducing his Medicare cutback program at a graveside press conference, Rep.

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Hank Williams Jr. Writes A Country Song About Randy Travis

Funny story: Hank Williams Jr. Writes A Country Song About Randy Travis

NASHVILLE - Hank Williams Jr., is no stranger when it comes to the world of drinking. In fact, during his career he has been named Country Music's Drinkingest Singer four times by the highly respected Country Sounds Coalition Federation based in Toad...

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Early Humans Were Chinese, Scientists Find

Funny story: Early Humans Were Chinese, Scientists Find

BEIJING, China - Researchers found that human ancestors, although all originating from Africa, were Chinese. A three-month study by the Scientific Research Center of the State Council (SRC) defied the conventional assumption that having ancestral...

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Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Are Asked About Kristen Stewart

Funny story: Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev Are Asked About Kristen Stewart

ALBUQUERQUE, New Mexico - The stars of The Vampire Diaries, Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev were in Albuquerque on a stop on their promotional tour for their hit show. The two stars, who are also dating, appeared before a crowd of 900 cheering New...

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Kim Kardashian Spotted by Google Earth Near Lost Pyramids

Funny story: Kim Kardashian Spotted by Google Earth Near Lost Pyramids

Researchers using Google Earth were amazed recently when they discovered some "lost" pyramids in Egypt. Amazement turned to complete shock when they spotted a beautiful woman near the entrance of one of the pyramids. The woman had long black ha...

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Big Head on the Mountain

The gears of their well-worn Chinese-made Schwinns were grinding as Dante and his kid sister Uma rounded a steep curve on a wilderness trail in the Black Hills. A gap in the forest foliage gave them a direct view of the mountain known as Rushmore, and they squeezed their handbrakes and came to an abrupt stop, as if the awesome sight before them was the visual equivalent of a roadblock. "Wow,"...

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Rob Pattinson and Selena Gomez To Star In The Zombie Thriller "Call Me Maybe"

Funny story: Rob Pattinson and Selena Gomez To Star In The Zombie Thriller "Call Me Maybe"

HOLLYWOOD - Rob Pattinson recently told a reporter with Bedroom Pillow Talk that he has just signed on to star in Tico Scallavini's zombie epic Call Me Maybe. Pattinson told BPT's Carolina Chipotle that he has to do something to take his mind off...

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Human exhalations melting ice on moons of Jupiter and Saturn

Funny story: Human exhalations melting ice on moons of Jupiter and Saturn

Munich, Germany - Scientists here, not of the Nazi Party, have determined that human exhalations are releasing gasses that are escaping to outer space, traveling to the Sun, falling into the Sun, causing it to get hotter, and causing ice on the moons...

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SAS to parachute Queen into Grimsby euthanasia clinic on Wednesday

Funny story: SAS to parachute Queen into Grimsby euthanasia clinic on Wednesday

Balmoral Castle, Scotland - A crack team from the Special Astrological Service in charge of stars' and celebs' security is behind the move amid unprecedented planetary alignments. These show a celestial Grand Cross forming in the zodiac's cardinal...

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Lou Reed names Joe 'Take A Walk On The Wild Side' Biden as inspiration behind smash hit single

Funny story: Lou Reed names Joe 'Take A Walk On The Wild Side' Biden as inspiration behind smash hit single

New York - Decades after hinting heavily that Warhol superstar Joe Dallesandro was the muse behind the 1978 Live: Take No Prisoners album single the truth is finally out. At a press conference in New York today hosted by Cattle Rustler News magazi...

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A Heartbroken Kristen Stewart Flies Down To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

Funny story: A Heartbroken Kristen Stewart Flies Down To Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

CABO SAN LUCAS, Mexico - Mexico's national news agency, Las Maracas is reporting that Twilight actress Kristen Stewart is staying at the luxurious Puffy Taco Resort & Casino. The establishment which is co-owned by Ryan Seacrest and Steven Tyle...

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It's Official: Live With Kelly & Michael

Funny story: It's Official: Live With Kelly & Michael

NEW YORK CITY - After what seemed like a year and hundreds of guest hosts, the executives of Live With Kelly have finally picked a replacement for Regis Philbin. They pointed out that contrary to dozens of rumors Philbin was not let go because he...

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Bwahaha! Diana's ghost is stalking me wails the Queen

Funny story: Bwahaha! Diana's ghost is stalking me wails the Queen

London - Someone has told her that Friday's 15th anniversary of Princess Diana's death 'will be a double whammy' in royal RIP terms. And that the day's Full Moon is a portent of HM's own demise. "Bloody stuff and nonsense if you ask me," Prince...

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Latest NASA blockbuster a flop!

Funny story: Latest NASA blockbuster a flop!

Box office records for the latest NASA blockbuster based on an unmanned landing on planet Mars have proved disappointing. Filmed at the massive open air studio known as 'Area 51', the latest would be blockbuster was shot in the barren desert there...

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Homeless Martians greet US robot and beg for food!

Funny story: Homeless Martians greet US robot and beg for food!

The US robot, Curiosity, that landed safely on Mars and cost the US tax-payer $2,5 billion dollars had a strange encounter of the third kind! Curious Martians approached the craft with begging bowls in their hands thinking that the "Messiah Mc Do...

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Kangaroo Closes Heathrow For 2 Hours!

Funny story: Kangaroo Closes Heathrow For 2 Hours!

Heathrow Airport had to be closed to air traffic for two hour this morning when a kangaroo decided to take a hop along a runway Having just arrived on the scheduled Australia Airlines flight from Sydney the marsupial then escaped down to the tarma...

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Kate Gosselin Wants To Adopt Little Honey Boo Boo

Funny story: Kate Gosselin Wants To Adopt Little Honey Boo Boo

READING, Pennsylvania - Kate Gosselin recently dumped her boyfriend Russell Brand and she's stated that her main focus right now, other than her children, is on getting another reality show. Gosselin told Bedroom Pillow Talk's Carolina Chipotle th...

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Prince Harry Naked Shock

Funny story: Prince Harry Naked Shock

The shock of seeing Prince Harry naked on the Internet has caused problems throughout Britain. Prince Charles announced that he could not believe 'a son of mine could behave in such a manner'. Prince William said he 'half-believed' Harry had been...

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Miley Cyrus Photo Surfaces, Intended For Boyfriends Eyes Only, Paris Hilton Manipulation?

Miley Cyrus has obviously enlisted The Paris Hilton Agency, the agency that keeps Hollywood trailer trashers in the spotlight. As I've reported repeatedly, Paris Hilton has opened a agency that keeps attention whores in the spotlight, Kim Kardash...

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Scotland Wants Own Olympic Team

Funny story: Scotland Wants Own Olympic Team

Scotland's outspoken and opinionated First Minister, Alex Salmond, has courted controversy by insisting Scotland will field its own Olympic team at the 2016 Rio Games. Salmond, who is convinced Scotland will have departed the UK by 2016, has insis...

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NATO silent as Democrat Party Internal Affairs meets in secret conclave to oust Obama

Funny story: NATO silent as Democrat Party Internal Affairs meets in secret conclave to oust Obama

Long Island - It's been likened to Captain Jean-Luc Picard's Redemption directive of non-involvement in Klingon High Council secret ops to oust a tricky Romulan impostor. This weekend a cabal of Dem oil and gas tycoons meeting at The Hamptons' ver...

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Wiccans warn Barack about Friday's Blue Fool Moon

Funny story: Wiccans warn Barack about Friday's Blue Fool Moon

New York - The Carnegie Hill chapter of Filthy Rich Pagans Anonymous is right up Barry's ass over Friday's lunation according to a new hex-messaging service launched today. A rare and stunning second August Full Moon lights up the heavens in that...

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Elvis Presley's Death 35 Years Ago Noted by Purring Elephants

Funny story: Elvis Presley's Death 35 Years Ago Noted by Purring Elephants

If you thought that cats are the only animals that purr, think again. Researchers have recently reported that elephants purr too. See "The Mystery of the Purring Elephant" by Veronique Greenwood in TIME.com (August 3, 2012). A Spoof reporter who...

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10 Product Spin-Offs That Failed

Funny story: 10 Product Spin-Offs That Failed

Every year hundreds of corporations throughout the United States spend millions of dollars trying to capitalize on already existing products in the hopes that they will be as successful as the originals. And every now and then some of these consumer product spin-offs make it and they are wholeheartedly accepted and embraced by the American buying public. But sad to say, most of the times the...

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Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev To Star In "Fifty Shades of Grey"

Funny story: Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev To Star In "Fifty Shades of Grey"

HOLLYWOOD - The Bedroom Pillow Talk Entertainment News Agency has just announced that Pipe Dream Films has acquired the movie rights to the E.L. James novel Fifty Shades of Grey. The erotic book has already sold 32 million copies world wide includ...

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Sun newspaper front page pic of nude Prince Harry is gift to Wendi Deng

Funny story: Sun newspaper front page pic of nude Prince Harry is gift to Wendi Deng

Wapping insiders claimed today that the front page picture of Prince Harry almost 'koo' starkers was a birthday present from Rupert Murdoch to his heroic wife, Wendi Deng. Deng shot to worldwide fame in 2011 when attacking Johnnie Marbles Kung-Fu...

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Lance Armstrong's seven Tour de France titles go on sale

Funny story: Lance Armstrong's seven Tour de France titles go on sale

In a stunning announcement last Thursday, the famed cyclist Lance Armstrong said he was selling his seven Tour de France titles. The titles will go on sale next week, but they most likely won't be available to the fans. All Tour de France runner-...

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Lamb to the slaughter as Murray faces Federer in Gold Medal showdown

Funny story: Lamb to the slaughter as Murray faces Federer in Gold Medal showdown

London - A repeat performance of this year's Wimbledon Men's Finals pitches the desperate Scots wannabe against the ball-crushing maestro of Grand Slam supremacy. "Yeah, he'll get his ass kicked in two straight sets," Rafael Nadal's tarot card rea...

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Lady Gaga and Heidi Montag To Buy The Texas Nude Maid Service Company

Funny story: Lady Gaga and Heidi Montag To Buy The Texas Nude Maid Service Company

LUBBOCK, Texas - The Texas Nude Maid Service Company was first established in April of this year. Its owner Lubbock native Essie Belle Tuckahoe had a vision that a cleaning service in which the maids were all nude could be successful. And Miss Tuc...

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Political Facebook - Ann Romney and Elisabeth Hasselbeck

POLITICAL FACEBOOK Elisabeth Hasselbeck: Hello Ann. Are you there? 9:01 a.m. Ann Romney: Yes, I'm here. How are ya Lizzy? 9:04 a.m. Elisabeth Hasselbeck: I'm great. And girlfriend let me say that I watched your GOP National Convention speech and you did fantastic. 9:09 a.m. Ann Romney: Thanks Lizzy. You don't think that I over did the color red do you? 9:12 a.m. Elisabeth Hassel...

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Adult acne and homeless cat problems solved

A new study by the Cornell University, School of Medicine, Dermatology Department has seemed to have made significant strides in alleviating two problems that have appeared unrelated up till now. It has been discovered that cat saliva may have a c...

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Black gymnast Gabby Douglas stripped of gold medal!

LONDON -- Olympic gymnast Gabby Douglas has been stripped of her gold medal at the 2012 Olympic Games for "not using one's black affiliation to win a match." "Upon further review of the video footage," official Suchet Zwambi said, "we determined t...

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Dallas cowboys told Salvator Mundi is not for sale

Funny story: Dallas cowboys told Salvator Mundi is not for sale

Texas - The reported $192 million 'transfer fee' targeting a reclusive Lily Pond Lane, East Hampton art buff has been rubbished as wildly optimistic pie-in-the-sky. Leonardo Da Vinci's fabulous Salvator Mundi dazzled the art world at London's Roya...

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Randy Travis - Arrested Again!

Funny story: Randy Travis - Arrested Again!

GRAYSON COUNTY, Texas - It appears that country singer Randy Travis not only sings down and out country music songs, but he is now actually starting to live them out. The 53-year-old crooner has just been arrested for a second time this year.

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Prince Harry To Appear In The Spy Porn Film The Red Star Diaries

Funny story: Prince Harry To Appear In The Spy Porn Film The Red Star Diaries

HOLLYWOOD - Gladiator Films in association with Left Coast Libido Pictures is currently in talks to sign England's Prince Harry to appear in the motion picture The Red Star Diaries. The porn film will be directed by Gunther Krottentokker and will...

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Katy Perry Exposes Her Bare Butt At Water Park

Funny story: Katy Perry Exposes Her Bare Butt At Water Park

Katy Perry has enlisted in the Paris Hilton Agencies growing roster of celebrity clients. Any time there is blatant exploitation of a celebutant you have to start thinking, is this a Paris Hilton media manipulation? Paris was behind the Lin...

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Michelle "The First Mama" Obama Picked Up By Olympic Lady Wrestler

Funny story: Michelle "The First Mama" Obama Picked Up By Olympic Lady Wrestler

LONDON - America's First Lady, Michelle Obama could very well be the most popular American in London, no matter what Bob Costas or Matt Lauer may think. On Sunday merry Michelle hugged every single member of the United States men's basketball team...

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Kate Gosselin Dumps Russell Brand

Funny story: Kate Gosselin Dumps Russell Brand

READING, Pennsylvania - The woman who is employed as Kate Gosselin's nanny Mindy Lulu Lickenfeister has stated that Kate is devastated at boyfriend Russell Brand's infidelity. Gosselin, 37, was told by a close friend that iRumors reporter Taffeta...

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Paul Ryan rumbled as Bill Clinton's bastard son

Funny story: Paul Ryan rumbled as Bill Clinton's bastard son

Tampa, Florida - A UN Security Council 'NOC-list' of undesirables confirms what those Dumbo-esque ears and rictus grin have hinted at for decades. "We have established that Paul Ryan is Clinton's bastard spawn," a spokesperson for Ban Ki-Moon's Ta...

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Minneapolis Solves Its Unemployment Problem

Funny story: Minneapolis Solves Its Unemployment Problem

MINNEAPOLIS - The city council of Minneapolis, Minnesota has just announced that it has reduced the town's unemployment percent all the way down to zero. Council member Delta Joan Muscaretello spoke with an assembled throng of reporters and she re...

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Mars Rover Curiosity Lands Safely on Mars before Sinking in Quicksand

Funny story: Mars Rover Curiosity Lands Safely on Mars before Sinking in Quicksand

The NASA robot dubbed "Curiosity" landed safely on Mars Sunday night smack dab in the middle of a deep pit of quicksand and sunk before any useful data could be collected. Curiosity, the largest and most advanced spacecraft ever sent to another pl...

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The "Queen of Porn Films" Jenna Jameson Endorses Mitt Romney

SAN FRANCISCO - The woman who is considered to be "The Queen of Porn" was sitting in a booth at San Francisco's infamous Booby Trap Strip Lounge. Jenna Jameson, who has appeared in 162 porn films, including www.GSpot.hot, iBox, and Cinderella's Sa...

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Message from Mars detected

Funny story: Message from Mars detected

Mars - The Mars Rover has detected a radio message emanating from what appears to be the ancient remains of a building next to a dried up canal on Mars, according to Dr. Mipaysurtax and his team of scientists of the Earth ground crew, who have all b...

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Pedometer Sales Soar After Penn State Scandal

Funny story: Pedometer Sales Soar After Penn State Scandal

Yoo Hoo,Pa.-Fraceme Pedometer Manufacturing company isn't so sleepy anymore. The tiny Pennsylvania based company was just trudging along, making the same old easy-to-read pedometers walkers use to measure their walking distance each day, when an inte...

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Elton John Says He Hates Madonna

Funny story: Elton John Says He Hates Madonna

LONDON - Elton John did not take too kindly to Madonna insinuating that Lady Gaga had gotten the idea for her song "Born This Way" from Madonna's song "Express Yourself." The 65-year-old British singer/songwriter recently performed at Liverpool's...

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Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Funny story: Akin's rape delusions expose a 'Congress of Crazies'

Washington DC - Rep. Todd Akin's recent comments about rape and abortion indicate that he is better suited for long-term stay in a psychiatric ward than he is for a Senate seat. Specifically, he told a television interviewer that in cases of "legi...

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Curiosity on Mars didn't kill the cat, it zapped a Martian $2,5 billion rock!

Funny story: Curiosity on Mars didn't kill the cat, it zapped a Martian $2,5 billion rock!

Sensational photos coming back from Mars have proven that "Curiosity" doesn't only kill cats; it zaps Martian stones too! Scientists at NASA were wetting their pants as these historic photos reached their computer screens. They fell into each othe...

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Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

Funny story: Stocks Surge on World's Clean Slate

NEW YORK, New York - U.S. and European stocks advanced as world leaders decided on Monday to cancel all world debts to start economies over with a clean slate. The concept of countries cancelling their world debt has been popular among those who s...

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Queen's mental decline blamed on bong hit decades

Funny story: Queen's mental decline blamed on bong hit decades

London - Mental slippage and cognitive retardation have wreaked havoc on HM's sunset years after decades Commonwealth ganja dependence a royal source said today. Palace quacks' insistence on bleeding her with leeches first identified the scale of...

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Bolt puts success down to 'all those mushy peas' during Bradford childhood

Funny story: Bolt puts success down to 'all those mushy peas' during Bradford childhood

While the bars stayed open late in Jamaica, after the 200m success of Usian Bolt and his team-mates last night, the fish and chip shops of Manningham was where the greatest celebration took place. It has been revealed that Bolt is yet another succ...

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GB Olympic Team In Shreds After Queen's Drug Test Shock

Funny story: GB Olympic Team In Shreds After Queen's Drug Test Shock

The Great Britain Olympic team was said to be "in tatters" this morning after news emerged that the result of a random drugs test carried out on Her Majesty the Queen after Her opening ceremony parachute jump, had turned out positive. The Queen co...

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New York Mets take away 11 'positives' from the 2012 season

Funny story: New York Mets take away 11 'positives' from the 2012 season

New York - With their season running off the rails, the New York Mets have already started to take a look back at the year to see what positives can be salvaged from the train wreck. They found 11: 1. The plan to add performance enhancing drugs to the hotdogs at Citi Field has been successful. Mets fans are singing "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" much more enthusiastically. 2. The sawdust in...

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Sparks and Mensa launch the disposable bath towel

Funny story: Sparks and Mensa launch the disposable bath towel

The High Street Intelligentsia Department Store with more stores in Oxford and Cambridge than it's similarly abbreviated rival, has innovated yet again with the world's first disposable bath towel. "You can either buy a single roll, or family pack...

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'Who Told You I Am Bill Clinton's Daughter?' Kristen Stewart livid at rumor mill

Funny story: 'Who Told You I Am Bill Clinton's Daughter?' Kristen Stewart livid at rumor mill

Los Angeles - A celebwatch site is sticking to its guns today after posting 'conclusive evidence' of the former President's paternity of Twilight Saga actress Kristen Stewart. Some hysterical squabs - er...historical swabs! - which vanished myster...

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Mitt Romney's Past Thug Life in Gangster Rap Group Comes to Light

Funny story: Mitt Romney's Past Thug Life in Gangster Rap Group Comes to Light

The Washington Post has recently reported details from Governor Mitt Romney's past that may derail the presumptive Republican candidate's goal of the White House in the 2012 Presidential Election. Quoting a variety of anonymous sources, the Post has...

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99% of tabloids' royal family bollocks sourced to bigamist Camilla

Funny story: 99% of tabloids' royal family bollocks sourced to bigamist Camilla

London - Cringe-making stories about royal humbug are being lapped up by red tops deprived of phone-hacked stuff. And most of the rubbish is coming from Camilla, doyenne of Palace bollocks and other unsavory crap. At an editorial meeting of QM-...

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Oprah Winfrey Criticizes Serena Williams For Doing The "Crip Walk"

Funny story: Oprah Winfrey Criticizes Serena Williams For Doing The "Crip Walk"

CHICAGO - Oprah Winfrey has expressed the fact that she really and truly misses being in the celebrity limelight and actually feels like a fish out of water. She recently revealed that she had no idea that not being the focus of so many people's l...

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Akin Truthtelling Mistake Exposes Risk of Actually Learning What Republican Party Stands For

Funny story: Akin Truthtelling Mistake Exposes Risk of Actually Learning What Republican Party Stands For

U.S. Representative, Todd Akin (R-MO) remained under attack today from his Republican colleagues and Party officials for daring to say out loud what they all think. Earlier this week Akin was explaining to an interviewer why there should be no rape e...

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Kenyan Police Scale Down Hunt For Rogue Essex Girl

Funny story: Kenyan Police Scale Down Hunt For Rogue Essex Girl

Masai Mara National Park, Kenya: Kenyan police chief, Moses Mbegwe announced this evening that the Kenyan police are scaling down their hunt for a rogue Essex girl, who was reportedly sighted lurking in the long grass, here in the Masai Mara National...

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Lady Gaga Denies She's Changing Music Genres

Funny story: Lady Gaga Denies She's Changing Music Genres

LOS ANGELES - Lady Gaga flew out to the Left Coast to have dinner at one of her favorite all-time eateries, The La Brea Tar Pits Diner. Ever since Lady Ga first patronized the eating establishment five years ago she has made it a point to visit th...

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Nicki Minaj - The New American Idol Judge

Funny story: Nicki Minaj - The New American Idol Judge

HOLLYWOOD - The producers of American Idol have finally decided on a replacement for Steven "Lips" Tyler and it is none other than Nicki "Rumpola" Minaj. The 29-year-old hip hop artist from Trinidad was picked from a list that included such notabl...

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Prince Philip Funeral Plans Found In Gents Toilet On Hampstead Heath

Funny story: Prince Philip Funeral Plans Found In Gents Toilet On Hampstead Heath

Draft plans for the funeral of Prince Philip have been found stuffed behind a toilet cistern in a gentlemen's toilet on Hampstead Heath. How the documents came to be there remains a mystery. The documents were found by a local kebab shop owner, Ge...

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Bigfoot Claims to Have Taken Best Picture Yet of Loch Ness Monster

Funny story: Bigfoot Claims to Have Taken Best Picture Yet of Loch Ness Monster

While vacationing in Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands, Bigfoot, also known as Mr. Sasquatch, reported taking the best photo yet of the storied Loch Ness Monster. Bigfoot, a three-meter-tall-ape-like creature, was visiting Scotland from his home...

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LeAnn Rimes To Host A Cooking Show

Funny story: LeAnn Rimes To Host A Cooking Show

LOS ANGELES - Country singer LeAnn Rimes has just said that her dream has finally come through. The extremely skinny singer who has had such hits as "How Do I Live," "Blue," and Blue Moo Moo" has just been signed by the Nourishment Network to hos...

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Akin: Woman's Body Armor Thwarts Rape Pregnancy with Tricks -- Sperm "Won't Ask for Help or Directions"

Funny story: Akin: Woman's Body Armor Thwarts Rape Pregnancy with Tricks -- Sperm "Won't Ask for Help or Directions"

On the heels of his comment that "legitimate" rape is "really rare" and that "the woman's body has ways to shut that whole thing down," U.S. House Science Committee member Representative Todd Akin(R-MO)schooled newsmen today using the same sex educat...

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Sarah Palin Upset At GOP Convention Snub - Says She May Just Vote For President Obama

Funny story: Sarah Palin Upset At GOP Convention Snub - Says She May Just Vote For President Obama

WASILLA, Alaska - Reports out of Alaska state that Sarah "Snowflake" Palin is one very angry white wilderness woman. Political Salad Bar Magazine has confirmed that the former governor of the Iceberg State and failed 2008 GOP Vice-Presidential can...

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Farcebook furor as 87% of users branded 'bogus' - report

Funny story: Farcebook furor as 87% of users branded 'bogus' - report

Cyberspace - Trolls, grudge peddlers and cyber bottom-feeders chucked out from rival sites make up the numbers according to a report published today. Analysis of the social netjerking site's 666 million users shows 87% are 'fakes' created ahead of...

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Whitney Houston's Daughter Bobbi Kristina Marries Her Step-Brother

Funny story: Whitney Houston's Daughter Bobbi Kristina Marries Her Step-Brother

ATLANTA - Bobbi Kristina Brown, the 19-year-old daughter of Whitney Houston and Bobby "Buster" Brown, has her entire family including aunts, uncles, cousins, and a grandmother all in a tissy. Bobbi Kristina, who looks nothing like her mother, repo...

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Town Folk Tired of Local man Thanking Everybody For Their Service

Funny story: Town Folk Tired of Local man Thanking Everybody For Their Service

Whatabout,ID-Micheal "Micro" Shoft thanked a returning soldier he met at a restaurant and a firefighter he met in line at the grocery store. He even thank the garbage man for his service when he met him at the curb one morning after forgetting to set...

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Snoop Dogg Changes His Name (Again)

Funny story: Snoop Dogg Changes His Name (Again)

WATTS, California - The Yo Bro Record Label Company has just announced that one of its featured artists Snoop Dogg has just changed his name. The man who was born Calvin Cordozar Broadus, Jr. and started performing under the name Snoop Puppy Dogg...

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Tom Cruise and Eva Longoria Spotted At SalsaLand

WEST HOLLYWOOD - Tom Cruise appears to be feeling a little bit better about his divorce from Katie "The Kid" Holmes. Cruise and the sultry Latina Eva Longoria were seen dancing and doing a bit of bumpin' and thumpin' at the SalsaLand Dance Hall.

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