Astronomers discover 'Death Star'
Scientists in the Canary Islands volcanic observatory high up on Mt. Teide have made what they describe as a 'significant discovery' Observing light from long long ago, in a galaxy far far away, they discovered what they call a "Death Star" simi...
Read full storySarkozy Finally Dubbed "Too Tall"
President Sarkozy celebrated his first recent success story this week when (in a first for the five-foot-five Frenchman) he was proclaimed "too tall" for the part of one of the dwarves in upcoming film "The Hobbit". Tiny Sarkozy, who auditioned on...
Read full storyCommonwealth Games update: Customs officials catch British athlete trying to smuggle in midget lover hidden inside her sweater
A British athlete has been apprehended by Customs officials in New Delhi for trying to smuggle in her midget lover by hiding him inside her bulky sweater. A visibly excited Chief Customs Officer Sher Khan Singh said: "This big Britisher lady wh...
Read full storySwamp Gas Sighting Debunked as UFO
PHOENIX, AZ- Witnesses claim to have seen the rare phenomena of 'swamp gas' hovering over Phoenix Wednesday night. Hundreds of calls came in to the Phoenix Sheriff's Office describing the mysterious phenomena. "I guess you could say we were '...
Read full storyTransformers ready for F1
A new team is ready to take next season's F1 by storm, it's been revealed. Following the disappointing finish of Lewis Hamilton and that other guy who won the Championship last year, British interests have floated to a brand new team known as the...
Read full storySouth Carolina 'ready to surrender to the North'
One hundred and fifty five years after the rest of the South capitulated to the North in the American Civil War, the state of South Carolina has finally conceded that it can no longer continue to fight for its right to subjugate and enslave without c...
Read full storyPrescott fails to become Treasurer. Quits in a huff.
The Big Man himself has quit politics all together after being left out of Ed Miliband's Labour party shake up. The former Deputy PM under Tony Blair appealed to new Labour Leader Eddie for the position of Treasurer of the Exchequer. Unsurprisingl...
Read full storyHobbit actors are "short in talent"
Duffy. Cheryl Cole. Kylie Minogue. That guy who played the blond hobbit in Lord of the Rings. The other three guys who were Hobbits but were actually 6 ft something or other. These are the names currently being linked to being in the latest Hobbit...
Read full storyOne of the Miliband Bros Wins Labour Leadership
David/Ed Miliband has won a mandate from the Labour Party and prepares to lead the party in opposition. Ed / David said the win was "a great honour/surprise" and assured voters that party will not "lurch to the left/right" under his leadership an...
Read full storyBalloon Race across France "Sarkozy's Latest Immigration Policy"
More French news for you all. Following the expected cancellation of "Napoleon's Castle", Sarkozy has refined his policy concerning the immigration of Romanian Gypsy folk. "We've been giving out free tickets on hot air balloons for the past two da...
Read full storyBrothers torn apart by Labour Election
They've broken up after many years being brothers. After a very very tough year in which they've been slagged off in the press and not had a chance to shine having lived in the shadow of bigger stars, the UK's most iconic brothers have headed their s...
Read full storyNews Anchor hospitalised, Dental Patients left gagging as Natural Amalgam scandal unfolds
Dr. Harry Monk, a dentist in Newcastle has become embroiled in a major NHS scandal. Monk's Dental practice website states: "Mercury fillings are unsightly, and there is anecdotal evidence mercury amalgam may be hazardous to health" "At Mon...
Read full storyCommonwealth Games: Snake discovered in South African athletes room. Hosts say this is a traditional welcome so "stop whining"
When will it end? The constant negative news-feed from the Delhi CWG Games has now turned into a regular groanfest. Call it a case of schadenfreude - the German reveling in the misery of others - or perhaps a case of "I-told-you-so". Either way...
Read full storyCommonwealth Games 'could move to Sandy, Bedfordshire'
As tension mounts in the run up to the ill-fated Commonwealth Games, the committee responsible for organising the games has suggested that the Bedfordshire town of Sandy may be used as an alternative venue. Despite its small size, Sandy, unlike De...
Read full storyBishop Eddie Long Plans to Burn 72 Korans at Ground Zero Mosque
Embattled Bishop Eddie Long announced plans today at his Sunday Sermon to burn 72 Korans at the Ground Zero Mosque, on Oct. 31, 2010. In his sermon this morning at his New Birth Missionary Baptist Mega Church in Lithonia, Georgia, Bishop Eddie Lo...
Read full storyFuturama and The Simpsons to join foces in a new movie.
Matt Groening has today confirmed that a second Simpsons movie featuring Bender, Fry, Leela, Linda, Morbo, Amy and Hermes Conrad, which is called The Simpsons: Futuredramas is in development. The story line revolves around Homer being called by NASA...
Read full storyKarl Largerfeld tampon launched
Visitors to the Paris fashion show were stunned by the unveiling of the latest designer fashion accessory yesterday. The new tampon modelled by Kate Moss was an instant hit with fashion buyers, and drew gasps of appreciation from the audience.
Read full storyIndia Leads Medal Count Early at Commonwealth Games
Shaking off claims of corruption, unsanitary conditions in the athlete's village and collapsed construction India has started to turn things around, showcasing the talents of the young men and women competing for their country by being the first game...
Read full storyYoda, celebrities list joined he has, those who dyslexia have.
Some of the most famous celebrities of today are dyslexic personalities. The owner of Virgin airlines Richard Branson, John Lennon, actors like Tom Cruise, Robin Williams and Whoopi Goldberg, Photographer David Bailey. Even people from past times...
Read full storyRash of terrifying Katie Price-esque 'black slug' eyebrows hits soccer whores pics
London - (Reuterus): The slanted shiny black paint jobs are suddenly sliming across the foreheads of alleged David Beckham hooker Irma Nici and Wayne Rooney whore Jenny Thompson. Like twin gastropod molluscs of the genus arion ater the terrifying...
Read full storyBarry Chuckle Wins Labour Election Contest
Barry Chuckle defeated brother Paul in as closely fought leadership contest the Labour Party has ever seen. The vote swung back and forth in the complicated election system, as fellow candidates Orville the Duck, Grotbags from ITV (circa 1980s) an...
Read full story'Ahmadinejad's Warts' The Title of Farci Falafel's new Book
London -- The book, "Ahmadinejad's Warts," by the journalist Farci Falafel, depicts the President of Iran as a deeply troubled, temper tantrum leader prone to sucking his thumb, wetting the bed, playing with matches and excitedly looking to nurse fro...
Read full storyBeckham sex slurs still secret from Posh
Soccer ace David Beckham recently got furious after a fans flinging of false phrases referring to the artful footballers fornicating with a fallacious floozy. The former England captain reacted angrily after an LA Galaxy supporter twice shouted "S...
Read full storyEnvoys from Planet Heterophobia Land in West Virginia: Claim Earth Now Their Colony
CONVENT OF THE QUEER, WV (ABSNN) - Sightings of UFOs flying above, and landing, in West Virginia towns is nothing new. Pt. Pleasant, West Virginia, a small town where the Kanawha River joins the Ohio River has long been a hot-bed of alien activity.
Read full storyIphone 4G, innovation taken too far? Losing popularity amongst married couples
The latest model of iphone 4 is suddenly falling in popularity among married couples. The reason is the new video call function, facetime, where people can see each other live when talking. Suddenly, long used lies as " I have to work overtime...
Read full storyGordon Brown Withdraws from the Olympics
In a statement that will shock the world Gordon Brown has said he will not be going to take part in the Commonwealth Games in Delhi. I am withdrawing from the High Jump and the Long Jump. I have seen shit in the pit you jump into and I have had enough shit to last me a lifetime. I asked him if he had asked Tony Blair for advice before taking his remarkable decision. Tony is one of my best...
Read full storyLabour Election Triumph
It was a great triumph for the Labour Party. They beat the Conservatives and the Lib Dems, who came nowhere, in the election for their leader. As votes cast for unsuccessful candidates were allocated to Ed and David Milliband, Ed overtook his brother and won. 'It is a great voting system' said Ed 'it must be because it voted me in.' 'Then why isn't this great voting system of allocating...
Read full storyFemale Grads now have Option of Paying Back Student Loans in Sexual Acts
It's something that plagues college graduates for years, even decades after they've tossed their grad caps and nailed their cheaply framed degrees to the walls of their one bedroom apartments. It's the student loan. It doesn't go away, and it doesn't...
Read full storyTwilight: Before The Books
Once there a little boy by the name of Edward He liked sparkles and was quite flamboyant He was stricken with the unbearable tragedy of being extremely pale And he also sparkled in the sun light This would be no big deal to most other little boys But him already ridiculed with insults of homosexuality It would be really dramatic He turned his life into a dramatic horror teen movie Then...
Read full storyJustin Bieber's Guest Appearance On "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" May Earn Him An Emmy Award
HOLLYWOOD - The teen singing sensation from Canada has just shown that he can also act. Justin Bieber appeared in a role in the hit TV series CSI: Crime Scene Investigation and he literally stole the show (no pun intended). Veteran directors, prod...
Read full storyLindsay "The Lucky Bitch" Lohan Somehow, Someway Manages To Find A "Get Out Of Jail" Card (Again!!!)
LOS ANGELES - Lindsay "The Lucky Bitch" Lohan is a free woman once again, again, again. The substance abusing, alcohol downing, lawbreaking ditsy twat really needs to go out and purchase a lottery ticket, because with her luck, the freckled ass ho...
Read full storyWoman sues confectionery company over inaccurately-named "fun size" chocolate bar
A woman has received a huge payout from the Mars confectionery company for the extreme emotional distress she suffered as a result of an inaccurately named chocolate-based snack. Cerys Lee O'Bese revealed she had purchased a bag of "fun sized" Mar...
Read full storyWest Brom Move Into Champions League Spot With Flukey Win At Arsenal
West Bromwich Albion, the team that everyone loves to laugh at, came away from the Emirates with all three points yesterday, after securing a flukey 3-2 win against Arsenal. They now occupy a Champions League berth in fifth spot. After Chris Br...
Read full storyCameron: My baby has to learn the perils of homelessness before its too late
Prime Minister David Cameron has sensationally revealed the reason behind his decision to dump his baby in a cardboard box and leave it to sleep on the streets. Cameron said such actions were necessary to illustrate the perils and dangers of homel...
Read full storyNorwich City 0 Hull City 2 - In-Depth Analysis Follows
It was a great day in Norfolk for Championship strugglers Hull City on Saturday as they wiped the floor with Norwich City at Carrow Road, with two late goals from Robert Koren and Tom Cairney wrapping up all three points for the Tigers. City ended...
Read full storyRetail world in shock over man who opens key cutting shop without additional shoe repair service
The world of retail has been turned on its head by the shocking news that a key cutting store opened without any facilities for additionally repairing shoes. The shop, in Bournemouth High Street, has angered many in the industry for going against...
Read full storyLindsey Lohan out on bail
Lindsey Lohan was released from jail after a 15-hour stay. During a brief hearing Friday morning, a Los Angeles Superior Court Judge had ordered Lohan held without bail until due back in court on Oct. 22. That ruling was tossed after her attorney...
Read full storyFarmville player arrested for cultivating cannabis
A Farmville player has been arrested on suspicion of cultivating cannabis on the popular Facebook simulation game. Details emerging reveal a man, believed to be in his mid 30s, was arrested when police checked his computer and discovered an onlin...
Read full storyTeachers conduct secret trial with Tasers
Leaked documents from the Department of Education have revealed that a secret trial has taken place, in which teachers have been issued with Tasers at a top private school. The Principal of Nowhere College, Mr George Whacker, said that he had agre...
Read full storyEd Miliband's mum orders son to share leadership with brother
New Labour leader Ed Miliband has been ordered by his mother to share the party leadership with elder brother David. Just hours after he had narrowly beaten his brother in the leadership contest, 40-year-old Ed was banished to his bedroom to refle...
Read full storyCheney Seeks Treatment for Black-Heart
CAPE CANAVERAL, FL- The immediate family of Dick Cheney answered questions Sunday about the therapy sessions the former Vice President has been undergoing. "He's just seemed so emotionally vacant the last few years. I knew we had to try somet...
Read full storyFrequently Asked Questions
Here at The Spoof, we want your experience to be a satisfying one. Before reporting a problem to us, please review the following Frequently Asked Questions. Your website appears to be down. What should I do? Please do not call the Hotline. We are experiencing unusually heavy call volume, as always. Wait until the site comes back up, then log on and use the Simple Problem Reporting process t...
Read full storyCapello rates WAGs on new online index
England manager Fabio Capello has once again caused controversy with a new online index in which he rates the players partners. The Capello WAG Index, which includes categories such as blondeness, submissiveness, appeal to Neanderthal Nuts readers...
Read full storyAshton Kutcher Has Just Added Tiger Woods, Jesse James, Charlie Sheen, John Edwards, and Joe "Pinky" Arpaio To His "Fave Five" List
LA BREA, California - A very somber, dejected, and highly embarrassed Ashton Kutcher sat all by himself at a local Mickey D's located next to the world famous La Brea Tar Pits. As he sat eating two orders of Chicken McNuggets he was overheard talk...
Read full storyJamie Lee Curtis Says Her Rumored Sex Change Operation Is Nothing But A Scandalous Lie
WEST HOLLYWOOD - Jamie Lee Curtis recently took her pet Alaskan Malamute, Daisy Doo to get it vajazzled at the famed animal clinic in West Hollywood Bow Wows 'R' Us. As Curtis was sitting in the waiting room for Daisy Doo's procedure to be complet...
Read full storyMagnetic Testicle Epidemic has medics worried
A small mining town in East Texas has been the epicentre of a new disease called Magnetic Testicle Syndrome(MTS) Dr. Dick Thorn MD of East Texas Medical Centre explains 'A patient arrived at the centre who could not get off his bike. At first,...
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