Capello rates WAGs on new online index

Written by alexc

Sunday, 26 September 2010


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England manager Fabio Capello has once again caused controversy with a new online index in which he rates the players partners.

The Capello WAG Index, which includes categories such as blondeness, submissiveness, appeal to Neanderthal Nuts readers and likelihood of staying after the inevitable "footballer sleeps with prostitute" scandal, has caused bad feelings between the manager and players.

Wayne Rooney is said to be furious at Capello for his poor estimation of his wife Coleen but Capello insists she was right to dock her marks for failing to expose her breasts in lads magazines and for exhibiting "worrying signs of independence of thought and action".

Conversely David Beckham has spoken of his anger at Capello's snubbing of his wife Victoria with the Italian suggesting she no longer has a part to play in the England WAG arena. The former Spice Girl responded by saying she has no plans to hang up her pink stilettos yet.

A spokesman for Capello was keen to play down any talks of a rift in the England camp.

"Nobody has said anything to Fabio and most of the players are completely behind him," he said. "They understand Fabio's incessant child-like need to reduce complex issues or abstract concepts into easily categorisable numbers and tables."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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