Written by alexc

Sunday, 26 September 2010

image for Ed Miliband's mum orders son to share leadership with brother
Poor David.

New Labour leader Ed Miliband has been ordered by his mother to share the party leadership with elder brother David.

Just hours after he had narrowly beaten his brother in the leadership contest, 40-year-old Ed was banished to his bedroom to reflect on his "selfish actions".

Mother Marion spoke of her disappointment at "Eddy" for putting politics before family and revealed the tension in the family home was now unbearable.

"David was really upset to lose out to his baby brother" she said, "he immediately took back the Radiohead CDs Ed had borrowed, locked himself in his room and sulked for hours".

Eventually the brothers agreed to a meeting, on the condition that they would under no circumstances talk with each other directly. Tensions were raised even more when David dug up old family history, comparing the betrayal to the time Ed had "purposely" disfigured his Stretch Armstrong figurine.

She eventually proposed a "coalition leadership" between the two, arguing that as it was possible for non-siblings like David Cameron and Nick Clegg, it should be much easier for siblings.

Ed was initially said to have rejected the idea before conceding on the condition that David would stop teasing him about his first teenage crush and would let him sleep on the top bunk of their shared bed.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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