A British athlete has been apprehended by Customs officials in New Delhi for trying to smuggle in her midget lover by hiding him inside her bulky sweater.
A visibly excited Chief Customs Officer Sher Khan Singh said:
"This big Britisher lady who is a shot putter was standing in the customs line when we noticed her rather huge breasts were moving up and down in a very suspicious manner. We were most amazed by this and could not stop watching with great interest. Suddenly we heard strange noises - as if her breasts were farting.
"We have never witnessed such unusual breast behavior in our country so as we moved in for a thorough pat-down a tiny 29-inch midget hopped out and headed for the exit, clicking his heels, singing Toora-looora-loora, toora-loora-ly"
The British chef de mission said their athlete had tried to smuggle in her midget lover to keep her company but since the midget is Irish "this is a matter for the Govt. of Ireland".
The little pischer has been caught and is being held in a wicker basket in the Delhi police station.
He says he is mighty pleased with his ultra-spacious accommodation and local cops have been feeding him delicious morsels of Indian food. He says he loves India so much he will be filing a claim for asylum on the grounds that the food in Ireland is dreadful