Labour Election Triumph

Funny story written by j.w.

Sunday, 26 September 2010

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I was first past the post but I didn't win!

It was a great triumph for the Labour Party. They beat the Conservatives and the Lib Dems, who came nowhere, in the election for their leader.

As votes cast for unsuccessful candidates were allocated to Ed and David Milliband, Ed overtook his brother and won.

'It is a great voting system' said Ed 'it must be because it voted me in.'

'Then why isn't this great voting system of allocating voting preferences advocated by Labour for a General election?' I asked.

'Because we probably wouldn't win that way and we would never have stable Governments.'

'Would that mean there would be Coalitions?'

'Yes. It would be a disaster for the country.'

'But I thought you said it was because you probably wouldn't win.'

'Well, that would be a disaster.'

'But we have got a coalition now. It seems to work even if you don't like it.'

'It works after a fashion but it is not the best way to run a country.'

'So you want elections to be based on a first past the post system?'

'Of course.'

'So when are you handing over the Leadership of the Labour Party to your brother David?'

'David didn't win.'

'He was first past the post.'

'He was not first at the final count. I was.'

'But he was first in the first ballot.'

'May I say, young man, that you have a lot to learn about politics.'

'I've just learnt quite a lot.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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