Lindsay "The Lucky Bitch" Lohan Somehow, Someway Manages To Find A "Get Out Of Jail" Card (Again!!!)

Written by Abel Rodriguez

Sunday, 26 September 2010


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you wish to back out now, please click here to go back to the home page.

image for Lindsay "The Lucky Bitch" Lohan Somehow, Someway Manages To Find A "Get Out Of Jail" Card (Again!!!)
It looks like these 'green things' will certainly buy a lot of 'get out of jail' cards.

LOS ANGELES - Lindsay "The Lucky Bitch" Lohan is a free woman once again, again, again.

The substance abusing, alcohol downing, lawbreaking ditsy twat really needs to go out and purchase a lottery ticket, because with her luck, the freckled ass ho will no doubt win millions of dollars.

LiLo Lohan has gotten so good at getting out of anything illegal that she gets into that she could probably get a charge of hijacking Air Force One reduced to merely driving with a burnt out tail light.

It is simply amazing how lucky she and the other 'do nothing' blonde broad Paris Hilton actually are. The two could literally teach a college course in how to make a mockery out of any law in the United States and get away scot free.

The nation's prisons are filled to the rafters with women who have broken the same exact laws that the "Ditsy Duo" have and those women are not going to get out until sometime in 2013 or later.

Fasheena Mimosa Moxywood, 31, an ex-con from Detroit shook her head and asked, "Can sumun prease tell dis here ghetto sista how in da world duzz dem two blonde, honky, cracker bitches keeps on breakin' da laws of America and gettin their lily white asses away wiff it all huh?"

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Fasheena Mimosa sweety. I is, I mean I am what one could call a white honky cracker and I swear that I have no mother effen idea in hell how those two 'split tails' do it. The two 'Teflon Twats' are without a doubt absolutely America's foremost 'Dynamic Duo' bar none. Batman and Robin ain't got shit on these two muffin molls.]

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Spoof news topics

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more