Bishop Eddie Long Plans to Burn 72 Korans at Ground Zero Mosque

Funny story written by Karen Fish

Sunday, 26 September 2010

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Embattled Bishop Eddie Long announced plans today at his Sunday Sermon to burn 72 Korans at the Ground Zero Mosque, on Oct. 31, 2010.

In his sermon this morning at his New Birth Missionary Baptist Mega Church in Lithonia, Georgia, Bishop Eddie Long said, "With all due respect to Pastor Terry Jones and his wife Brittney Jones and the Dove World Outreach Church in Gainesville, Florida, 'Go Big or Go Home!"

Bishop Eddie Long continued, "The Dove World Outreach Church has 50 members, not including Terry Jones and Brittney Jones. By comparison, my Church, the New Birth Missionary Baptist Church has 25,000 members and a $50 million cathedral. It's like comparing Roy McAvoy's driving range and the Sistine Chapel. I did not have sexual relations with those boys. This is a conspiracy which evolved in the minds of the radical Muslim extremists in Pakistan opposed to my freedom under the Constitution of the United States of America to burn as many Korans as I like at the Ground Zero Mosque. These pitiful people only wish that they had my muscle definition."

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs said, "President Obama is outraged. The Tiger Woods scandal and now the Bishop Eddie Long scandal have destroyed the President's approval ratings which have now dropped to 42%. This means that 58% of the people in the United States of America disapprove of the job that President Obama is doing.

"Now people are talking about Michael Jackson moonwalking on the roof of his car at his pedophile trial. I don't know how many women Tiger Woods slept with during his marriage or how many boys Bishop Eddie Long slept with in his bed. What I do know is that these incidents are killing our poll numbers. In defense of Bishop Eddie Long, why should the Catholic Priests have all the fun?"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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