Somewhere in the maze of Edinburgh's Palace of Holyroodhouse:
You've gotta love him for the senile old fool that he has always been - the comic foil to the Queen's seriously frumpy frowning face.
He is of course, the first Laddie of the Land - England's very own Phil the Greek - the Clown Prince of Faux Pas.
From asking African politicians whether they were still spear-chuckers to warning Brits not to stay too long in China for fear of turning slitty-eyed, Phil has sparked controversy after controversy only to be written off as the world's most harmless royal buffoon.
Now in another instance of Royal inanities the almost nonagenarian Phil has pulled another skunk out of his hat.
Having noticed that many male Members of Scottish Parliament were sporting ties bearing a new tartan to mark the Pope's visit, old roving-eye Phil turned his attention to a top female Tory who was not wearing a similar tartan tie and asked her sotto voce:
"I say, are you by any chance sporting a pair of crotchless tartan knickers?"
She is said to have replied equally sotto voce: "I cannot possibly comment and even if I had I could not possibly exhibit them"
After which the Phil is believed to have followed her around like a lovesick puppy.
Despite media attempts to blow this typical Phil faux pas out of proportion, Her Majesty(hem-hem) maintained her usual silence while the classy older Scottish 'lassie' MP remarked: "It's marvelous that humor is alive and well in the Royal Family".
As Phil himself would have said: "Well bugger me with a Ragman's Trumpet"