Pope Benedict surprised everybody, including his security retinue on his visit to Gateshead today. As part of his tour he visited Gateshead market where local stall holder, Bahja Singh has his Soap-on-a-rope stall.
In honour of the visit, Singh had produced a special Pope-Soap-on-a-Rope soap-on-a-rope, in the hopes of cashing in on the Pontiff's visit. Each one was hand carved to resemble the Holy of Holies. He got more than he bargained for when Il Papa spotted the stall, and directed his red shod feet away from the main procession and joined Singh behind the stall to hawk the Pope-Soap-on-a-Rope.
"It was a miracle," said Singh. "He managed to sell every last one of the special Pope-Soap-on-a-Ropes."
Benedict used his bulldog like voice to reach above the absolute hush in the market place yelling: "Get yer official Pope-Soap-on-a-Rope soap-on-a-ropes here. One for a fiver, three for twenty quid!"
There was a rush from the devout to purchase these now declared holy items, and within twenty minutes all of the Pope-Soap-on-a-Rope soap-on-a-ropes had gone.
"I was most grateful," Singh said. "I think I might become Catholic!"
In other related news, one of the Pope-Soap-on-a-rope Soap-on-a-ropes managed to foil a bank robbery when it was dropped by Mrs Hattie Glassbottom outside Barclay's on High Street, and the thieves slipped on the holy miracle worker bathroom product, getting tangled in each other and the rope, allowing the police to arrive in time and arrest them all.
"It's like a miracle," said Detective Inspector, Phil Inns.