Police were frisking monks and nuns today as crowds turned out for the Pope's first public engagement on English soil.
Amid tight security, guests queued in a good-natured fashion despite fears of an unruly crowd, organisers were preparing to ask the crowds to behave in a Christian manner, but no one had bought swords with which to kill infidels' and heretics whilst they storm any local holy cities, so their concerns were unwarranted.
Despite it being a mostly parochial crowd, the local police force were leaving no curate unturned in their search for any potential ecumenical turn coats or secular psychopaths who may want to pounce upon the unsuspecting pontiff. Cassocks were lifted and rosaries were checked for hidden weapons or explosives.
Protesters outside the event seemed more concerned with the chilly weather than voicing their anger at the Pope's visit. But their banners told of the protests to come: one read "down with this sort of thing" while another stated "careful now".