A gaggle of American Susan Boyle red scarf wearing fanatical loonies, on route to Scotland, have spent their first night in jail after attempting to smuggle SuBo into the country.
The trouble started at Heathrow airport, when the loonies were seen attempting to offload a suspicious package. Security officers quickly swooped, only to find SuBo wrapped in bubble wrap and hidden inside two boxes.
"It's not really SuBo!" grumbled one of the over-excited fanatics. "It's our trademark 'flat Susan'. It's made out of cardboard!" she protested.
"We always bring 'Susan' to our legendary 'Meet & Bless' gatherings!" said another fanatic.
The cardboard cut-out, standing 5 feet tall and bearing a red scarf, has since been quarantined as a precaution. "We don't know what the loonies have been doing with it. We heard some male fanatic had it for a while, so we have to be careful," said a security spokesman.
The loonies have since been released, and allowed to continue on to Scotland.
"We didn't think The Pope did a very good job blessing the people of Scotland, so we're heading there now to offer our blessings!" said the fanatics.
The fanatics are due to attend yet another 'Meet & Bless' gathering at a secret location in Scotland, or at least it was secret until they accidentally announced it on public radio! "Oh, I have a real funny story to tell!" a very over-excited fanatic told the radio presenter. "I was walking through the airport and some lady said hello, and I said hello back!" "And then?" enquired the presenter. "No, that was it!" said the deluded fanatic.
"Yes, we've even brought our wealthy husbands along this time! They can carry the luggage!" said some old dear with a red scarf.
Meanwhile, the cardboard Susan came to life, escaped, and is now starring in a West End show!