There were 1,298 spoof news stories published in February 2009. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.
People Googling "Miley Cyrus nude" in vain
According to Google, Inc., despite the ongoing world financial crisis, rising unemployment, the housing market crash, and other more personal troubles, people throughout the world are googling for nude pictures of pop sensation and Hannah Montana sta...
Read full storyJade Goody Sexy Page 3 Picture Exclusive
Jade Goody, the former Big Brother contestant who was married to criminal Jack Tweed this week, is in the news again, after it was announced the News of the World have bought exclusive rights to publish her raunchy portfolio of sexy topless photograp...
Read full storyTaylor Swift The Next Dolly Parton Without the Big Tits
Taylor Swift has broken all of the music industry records and she is only nineteen but she has relatively small breasts. Country music critics are comparing her meteoric rise to stardom to the great and big busted country music superstar Dolly Pa...
Read full storyU Tube Clip Shows a Nude Obama Horsing Around in Shower After Pick Up Ball Game; Times Gets Exclusive Rights!
NY/NY Wall Street Journal - The New York Times, once the proud leader of journalistic excellence, has fallen on hard times, and has now resorted to sensationalism in order to boost sagging sales and its shares on the DOW by catering to Obamamania.
Read full storyMan with World's Largest Scrotum Fined for Overweight Bags At Heathrow!
London, UK / Air Travel News - A disgruntled passenger caused a long flight delay today at Heathrow International Airport when he strongly contested being surcharged for having an overweight scrotum, which airport security classified as "carry on ba...
Read full storyMiley Cyrus Says She's Not "Too Close" To Dad
Miley Cyrus doesn't like to admit it, but she's bothered by people who think that she and her dad, singer Billy Ray Cyrus, are "too close or too cuddly." "That's just stupid", stated Cyrus. "Those magazines have to come up with something to print...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's Tatiana Del Toro Balls
LOS ANGELES, California - Tatiana Del Toro, who many consider to be the most annoying contestant to ever appear in the eight-year history of American Idol has been eliminated. The 23-year-old drama queen from Puerto Rico has fallen by the wayside.
Read full storyPrincess Margaret caught Aids from gangster lover/crack dealer Bindon
London - (Sordid Cold Whore Mess): Bitter and twisted mobster's moll Princess Margaret died from complications linked to Aids and cocaine addiction after becoming contaminated by her gangster crack dealer lover John Bindon according to a TV docu-dram...
Read full storySparkling Water Has More Calories than Diet Cola
A laboratory in Switzerland has made a discovery that will upset many a dieter who may have opted for a sparkling mineral water as opposed to a diet cola or other low calorie soft drink. For it turns out that fizzy water actually contains more calor...
Read full storyDarwin's Theory of Evolution Has Changed Beyond All Recognition, Scientists Say
Researchers at the University of Lyef near Amsterdam were astounded today when, during their celebrations to mark Charles Darwin's 200th Birthday, they realised his Theory of Evolution is no longer similar to the original. Scientists were observing...
Read full storyAishwarya Rai filing for divorce, blames dodgy astologers' pregnancy rumors
Mumbai - (Bollyawful Mess): Bollywood megastar Aishwarya Rai has told divorce lawyers that her marriage has been blighted by Bachchan in-laws' astrologers' pregnancy rumor mill. The stunning green-eyed movie queen has claimed husband Abhishek Bac...
Read full storyJapanese Woman Mistakenly Pregnant With Fertilized Monkey Egg
A Japanese woman was likely impregnated with the fertilized egg of an orangutan by accident during an in vitro procedure last year, hospital officials said Thursday. The woman, who is in her 20s, aborted the pregnancy when she was told of the pote...
Read full storyEmma Watson in New Picture Shoot Admits She Might Do Nudity
Harry Potter actress Emma Watson, who turned eighteen last year, recently sat for a much celebrated photo shoot. "It was my first chance to be taken seriously as a model and to do a bunch of different kinds of pictures. I kind of consider this as m...
Read full storyNew add-on for Google Earth announced - Indoors:Live
Google announced today the release of their controversial new add-on to Google Earth, Google Indoors:Live. The new software interfaces with Windows, Mac and Linux operating systems to provide users with access to built-in and USB-connected webcams a...
Read full story"Octuplet's Mom's" Sperm Donor Comes Out Of Hiding
BELLFLOWER, California - The man responsible for donating the sperm that created eight babies has finally come forward. David Solomon, (aka The Sperm Donor) told a reporter for CNN that the reason he had not come out before is because he suffers f...
Read full storyHats Are The Next Big Thing Says Hat Manufacturer
In these recession hit, snowbound, icebound, eggbound days, at last a hint of an economic revival. Milliner (hatmaker - origin from Milanese fancy goods supplier) Charlie Titfer of East London announced that his business was positively booming as...
Read full storyRobert Pattinson: Love Trapezoid
It has been less than three months since the movie "Twilight" has hit theaters, and its main man, Robert Pattinson, is already swooning teenage girls all over the globe. So, it comes as no surprise that the new heartthrob is being linked to the likes...
Read full storyMother of Octuplets Is Pregnant Again!
BELLFLOWER, California - Nadya Suleman, the woman who gave birth to octuplets ten days ago is pregnant. It is amazing. It is unbelievable. But it is true. Ms. Suleman says that she took an EPT test and the results show that she is in fact pregnant...
Read full storyDubai Going Broke! Proves There is Only One God, and It Ain't Allah!
Dubai/UAE Raggedy Ass Arab News - Despite claims to the contrary, Allah is not smiling on his children in Dubai. In addition to the recent revelation that the former playground of the rich and famous had turned into a running sewer with infidel s...
Read full storyMen with Big Penises Live Longer, Happier, More Satisfying and Productive Lives
Duke University, NC- After decades of research by sociologists, psychologists, statististions, anthropologists and astrologers it has been determined, without any doubt, that men with large penises live longer, happier, more satisfying and productive...
Read full storyTeen queen, Brenda Song and Rob Pattinson spotted kissing!
Teen queen, Brenda Song and teen heartthrob Rob Pattinson have been spotted at Central Park in Manhattan. The two teen sensations were earlier spotted at Barney's and Saks Fifth Avenue, were Brenda reportedly bought a purse costing over $100,000 at...
Read full storyMan With Little Penis Braves Taking Shower After Ballgame.
It took quite a bit of courage for Freddie Hancock to get into the shower with all his teammates after the neighborhood donkey-basketball game for a local charity. "I thought I felt a pin prick when I bent over awhile ago!" yelled Billy Ray Johnso...
Read full storySarah Palin's Vagina Diagnosed with Down Syndrome
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin's Press Secretary Meghan Stapleton has issued a press release which comes close to explaining the former Vice Presidential candidate's often puzzling comments and behavior. It seems Palin's vagina has been diagnosed wit...
Read full storyBrenda Song & Rob Pattinson vow to stay virgins till marriage!
Teen queen, Brenda Song and Twilight hottie Rob Pattinson have vowed to stay virgins till marriage. The teen sensations wear purity rings, Brenda and Rob, both 19, reportedly wear metal bands on their fingers to symbolize. Rob thinks of it as, "a pro...
Read full storyPattinson and Stewart: Together?
It seems that stars Rob Pattinson and Kristen Stewart , are together. The two were spotted hugging and laughing at an event in Wallenpaupack, Pennsylvania. "They are just friends. Nothing bad was going on. They're young, they have the right to ha...
Read full storyJade Goody all set for role in Eastenders
Cancer ridden tabloid cod piece Jade Goody was said to be delighted after the make a wish foundation granted her wish of appearing in long running BBC television show eastenders. It's thought the former big brother, celebrity big brother and racis...
Read full storyLeBron James Traded To The Los Angeles Lakers
CLEVELAND - NBA superstar LeBron James has been traded by the Cleveland Cavaliers to the Los Angeles Lakers. In a surprise move that left the NBA world stunned beyond belief King James will be going west to join the Los Angeles Lakers who currentl...
Read full story"OctuMom" Admits She Has Never Had Sex
BELLFLOWER, California - The 33-year-old mother of octuplets and six other children has admitted to Katie Couric that she has never had sex. In an exclusive interview mom said that yes, she is technically a virgin, since all of her 14 children wer...
Read full storyJoseph Mengele Diaries Found in South America
The secret diaries and notebooks of Nazi Doctor Joseph Mengele have been discovered in the library collection of a Catholic Church in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Mengele, known as the Doctor of Death, was responsible for experimentation on Jews in the...
Read full storyMan with nanopenis consummates marriage
A 35 year old married man, formerly of Italy, now residing in Littledick, TX, has finally gotten his wife of 10 years pregnant, by proxy, after many, many attempts. The man's name, Canno Finda Mydicka, you see, was born with a "nanopenis" which c...
Read full storyJade Goody to live out days in Big Brother House
A deal has been struck whereby the producers of Big Brother will transform the BB House into a Hospice where Jade Goody will spend her final days. A spokesman for Inyerface Media said "Basically the BB format will be followed, but obviously there...
Read full storyDemi Moore now "Too Ugly" to strip
Demi Moore has received some shocking news from her agent, Frank Telling. Telling has told her the reason she has been rebuffed from several parts that she auditioned for in recent months. "Basically," said Misty Morning, Telling's assistant, "she...
Read full storyJamie Lynn pregnant again soon after 1st baby!
Jamie Lynn Spears revealed yesterday that she's single, and pregnant again. Her now ex-boyfriend, Casey Aldridge says that "Jamie's going to be ok. We're still friends..." Jamie's mom said: "She's doing ok, actually. We still are a bit shocked...
Read full storyFlyers Announce: WallyMart Offers Big Rollback On Condoms!
WallyMart has announced that their "natural lambskin" condoms are being rolled back not only for a lower price but for a snugger, tighter fit. "And", added the retail giant, "these boxes are labeled by code and not by size so even your cashier wo...
Read full storyBritney Spears Invents Bra Phone-Holder, Lingerie Company Interested
In what sounds like a slam-dunk, sure-fire thing, an idea by Britney Spears and a top lingerie company are hammering out a multimillion dollar deal for her to endorse a new line of sexy, lacy bras for plugged-in babes. The new bras will be featu...
Read full story300-Pound, Chain-Smoking Alcoholic Pill-Popper Afraid Of Dying From Global Warming
300-Pound, Chain-Smoking Alcoholic Pill-Popper Afraid Of Dying From Global Warming Beaner, Tennessee - Jonnie Ben Johnson, a 41 year old Beaner homemaker, admits that she's petrified by the thought of dying from global warming, saying, "It scares...
Read full storyJon Leaves Kate With Eight!
Jon Gosselin, 31 , has split from wife , Kate Gosselin , 33. He's also leaving the children with her. So Mady, Cara, Collin, Leah, Hannah, Joel, Aaden, and Alexis will have visiting hours set to be with Jon. In an interview, Jon tells that "some...
Read full storyTeen queen, Brenda Song & Rob Pattinson spotted on a date!
Teen queen, Brenda Song and Twilight hottie Rob Pattinson have been spotted on a romantic date in Studio City, Hollywood. Earlier this week, Brenda was seen at Rob's new $3 million apartment in Tribeca. The stars shared an ice cream bowl. The paparaz...
Read full storyPorn star Stormy Daniels vows to 'join all the other whores in the Senate'
Washington AC/DC - (Horny Ass Mess): Enormous-bosomed peroxide porn star Stormy Daniels has vowed to 'join all the other whores in the Senate' by challenging David Ritter for the Louisiana Senator's seat. "My hot ass is a lot perkier than that abs...
Read full storySteven Seagal Injured in Guitar Hero Accident
Action movie star Steven Seagal was admitted to hospital last week after suffering a sprained testicle while playing the popular Guitar Hero game on the Xbox 360. Seagal is claimed to have been attempting the elusive 'Double Whammy-Bar Deflect wit...
Read full storyRobbie Keane Wore Spurs Scarf At Liverpool v. Chelsea Game Last Sunday
Fans who were sitting near Robbie Keane at Anfield last Sunday during the Liverpool v. Chelsea game, have said that even before his transfer back to White Hart Lane had been announced, the player was wearing a Tottenham scarf around his neck. Kean...
Read full storyMick Jagger lands J Howard Marshall III role in Royal Opera House's Anna Nicole Smith life story
London - (Wrinkly Ass Mess): Ageing sexagerian crooner Mick Jagger is to play the role of Texan oil billionaire J Howard Marshall III in the Royal Opera House's production of Anna Nicole Smith's life story. The title role is still up for grabs alt...
Read full storyPresident Obama's and President Bush's Communication Skills Examined
Washington DC: Dr. Kartoffel Kopf, a visiting professor from the Dusseldorf School of Linguistics, has been lecturing here in the USA about how great leaders communicate. He has postulated an analytical model to measure the information contained in a...
Read full storyTraffic Cone to Retire After Twelve Years of Hard Labor
Interstate 40, Amarillo, Texas -- After twelve years of public service, the Department of Transportation has announced the retirement of one of the agency's most durable traffic cones. "It's a sad day today," highway worker, Mike Davey, said as he...
Read full storyJury Consults Tarot Cards
An Appeal Court in California has been asked to review a murder conviction on the basis that the jury reached its verdict after following some Tarot readings in the jury room while no one else was looking. Actually only four were involved in the r...
Read full storyDuffy's Ass Breaks Record at Brits
We learned today that Welsh singing sensation Duffy had to change her outfit part way through the Brits Awards due to a mishap in the interval. It seems she inadvertently broke an eight metre Gold Disc display with her pert buttock shelf when she tu...
Read full storyCelebrity discovers pot plants having intercourse
In a titanic effort to write a popular story, the infamous Queen Mary Jane Screws analysed the statistics and discovered that people's minds are occupied with celebrities, sex, and pot. She therefore resolved to research and report on the real truth...
Read full storyThe Search For President Obama's Nickname
WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Barack Obama's top aides are trying to figure out a nice catchy nickname to use for the president. One aide suggested to simply use his three initials, BHO (Barack Hussein Obama). But that idea was quickly shot down b...
Read full storyMadonna To Auction More Nude Pictures For Obama Stimulus
(Los Angeles-CA) Directly on the heels or insert the body part of your choice of this week's Christie's auction of a full frontal nude photograph of Madonna selling for over $37,000.00, the original Material Girl announced today at a Regent Beverly W...
Read full storyGordon Brown - "Jade Goody is the People's Princess"
The Prime Minister Gordon Brown took time off running the economy yesterday to comment on the latest news about Jade Goody. He came out of Number 10 and spoke to waiting journalists. "The whole of our country, all of us, will be in a state of shoc...
Read full storyGoogle Earth Discovers the EU is a Big Dick
Google Earth has enabled many onlookers to get googlely eyed about the earth. Giles Cocknbull used Google earth to watch his girlfriend Hortensia mow the lawn of her neighbor, Bull Meacham. Virtual hikes of the Grand canyon, make believe climbs of Ev...
Read full storyDid Video Games Console kill Jade Goody?
Possible exposure to a video games console may have caused the cancer in Jade Goody, scientists have proved perhaps. Shocking revelations from the Polytechnico of Juventius di Milano departmento di speculananio reveal the Japanese console popular...
Read full storyCOO melamine aspartame scare smokes out secret bar code scanners for the elite
GENEVA, Switzerland - UPDATE 1 - Hot on the heals of the country of origin (COO) secret melamine bar code revelation comes an even more shocking cover-up. "Not funny", is the plaintive cry of industry associations in response to the original revelat...
Read full storyVaginas and peckers go virtual reality
Silicone vaginas and penises, part of a new virtual reality package offered by Microsoft Corporation makes its debut this weekend, and CEO Bill Gates, as usual, is behind the state of the art hardware and software for the game experience. Said to...
Read full storyJolie To Star in "The Octuplet's Mom" Movie
LOS ANGELES, California - Angelina Jolie has been signed to star in the new movie "The Octuplet's Mom." Jolie will portray the California Super Mom who recently gave birth to octuplets in Kaiser Permanente Hospital in Bellflower, California. T...
Read full storyJohn Terry - I'm No Ladyboy
England footballer John Terry has come out and denied that he is actually a cross dressing pervert. Recent revelations in the British gutter press suggested that 'Lucky' Lucy Smith was a looky-likey for the Chelsea captain. Strapping Big John...
Read full storyTeen queen, Brenda Song & Rob Pattinson Dating
Brenda and Rob, both 20, are set to star in the upcoming indie film, Burning Star. The pair have been seen on a date and apparently, they been seeing each other for several months. The pair reportedly wear matching rings, and have kept their relat...
Read full storyParliament Toilets To Be Fitted With Thrutching Bars
Parliament this morning authorised a £10 million scheme to fit thrutching bars in all toilet stalls in the house, prompting calls from opposition MPs for the resignation of Gordon Brown and the abolition of slavery. Dave 'do nothing' Cameron decli...
Read full storyU2's "The Edge" changes name to "Bono"
A spokeman for world topping band U2, has confirmed that the band's lead guitarist "The Edge" (real name David Howell Evans) has today finalised the legal documentation to change his name to "Bono". The lead signer of the band, "Bono" (real name P...
Read full storyHiggs Boson discovered - Cern 'furious'
The elusive Higgs Boson, the so-called 'God Particle' has been discovered by three schoolboys working with a home-made particle accelerator. The boys, all aged thirteen and from The Francis Howard Academy in York, built the accelerator from bits and...
Read full storyFederer "I quit" - tennis world in shock
Roger Federer, until recently the worlds' no.1 tennis player, has decided to quit. The superstar, who was beaten by Spaniard Rafa Nadal in the Australian Open on Sunday, declared, "You know, I've really tried to play my best game this last year a...
Read full storyTatiana Del Toro to open for David Archuleta on tour
Hollywood, Calif. - Reports are leaking out that American Idol contestant Tatiana Del Toro will be the opening for Idol second place runner up David Archuleta for his upcoming tour. Tatiana has been one of the most talked about contestants this year...
Read full storyIf Britney Can Go Without Underwear, So Can I?
Peter Showman (Not his real name), 51, was "adamant," according to England's Kettering Evening Telegraph, that he had the right to wear whatever outfits he wanted, even though his favorite hangout was in front of Woodville Primary school in the morni...
Read full story3500 Year Old Egyptian Tomb Reveals a Strange Inscription
Cairo Egypt: An archeological expedition to Egypt's Valley of the Kings has reported finding a strange inscription inside the innermost burial chamber of a 3500 year old Pyramid. The inscription @*$! #%* was written on a wall. Dr. Jones the head...
Read full storyPattinson: America is cramping my style!
Robert Pattinson, heart throb to girls all over the world and international superstar has been heard to have said that he can't wait for the filming of "New Moon" - the gripping sequel to twilight - to have finished filming so he can go back to his a...
Read full storyObama Builds Basketball Court In White House
Washington DC-- President Obama had a basketball court built in the White House over the weekend. The court is NBA regulation size and was paid for with private donations. Mr. Obama plans to use the court 'everyday' to stay in shape and to help him...
Read full storyAmerican Idol's "Bikini Girl" To Appear In Magazine
HOLLYWOOD, California - Katrina Darrell, better known as "Bikini Girl" was recently eliminated from the singing competition show American Idol. But Katrina, who is a sexy-looking 20-year-old California babe will soon be crying all the way to the b...
Read full storyJohnny Depp To Star As A Gay Mexican Astronaut
HOLLYWOOD, California - Columbia Pictures in association with Mexico's Guacamole Films has just announced that Johnny Depp will be starring in their motion picture "Gay Jose, Can You See By The Dawn's Early Light?" The movie which will be shot dow...
Read full story1-seater smart forone Car Planned
A car manufacturer has bought the rights to 1960's classic Peel P50 microcar to make the smart forone. Following yesterday's coverage of the new clockwork smart fortwo, we can today report that it has also been announced that the manufacturer will...
Read full storyHilary Duff announced that she's having plastic surgery - just to fit in!
Hilary Duff, 21, has announced that she's going to have a breast augmentation. "I just feel I need this to fit in with the other celebrities that have done it," says Duff, "it would make me feel better about myself..." YIKES! She says she's g...
Read full storyParis Hilton Unearths Missing Super Bowl Rings
It seems Paris Hilton has solved a mystery that has puzzled American football fans for months. Initially it was reported that the New York Giants' Super Bowl Rings were stolen in a heist. It now appears that story was an elaborate cover up. Info...
Read full storyBlack Children's TV presenter "scares young viewers"
A children's TV channel came in for criticism last night when complaints were made about its new presenter Simon Churchill who some parents claimed "scared their kids". Churchill, 26, whose grandfather was from Jamaica and settled in the the UK in...
Read full storyBook of Secret Knowledge is a Fraud
The Pagan Community is reeling at the revelation that the book, The Lebor Feasa Runda (The Book of Secret Knowledge) is indeed a work of an indulgent imagination. Reported as being an English translation of a German Copy of an Ancient Irish Text,...
Read full storyEverton v. Liverpool FA Cuptie To Go To Penalty Shoot-Out, After Doubt Cast On 'Goal'
An emergency meeting of the FA at Lancaster Gate today, has decided that the FA Cup fourth round replay between Everton and Liverpool, should be taken to an extraordinary penalty shoot-out after severe doubt was cast on Everton's 'goal'. Viewers w...
Read full storyShilpa Shetty voodoo hex blamed for Goody woes
London - (Karmic Crap Mess): BNP fans of Jade Goody's 2007 Celebrity Racist Big Brother rant are in hiding this weekend after blaming a Shilpa Shetty 'voodoo hex' for the stricken reality TV contestant's woes. "Shetty invoked the wrath of Kali, go...
Read full storyWoman Sets Breast Record, 38KKK
A woman underwent nine breast-implant surgeries, even leaving the country, to set the world record for the largest bust. People...well..men.. were already fairly impressed last April, when they heard that one Sheyla Hershey traveled to Houston for...
Read full storyMiss Whiplash 'found arse over tit' in slime-filled ditch
Risbury, Herefordshire - (ReUterus & Sordid Ass Mess): Former brothel madam Lindi St Clair spent nearly 24 hours upside down in a fetid contaminated ditch after pranging her motor down a ravine according to West Mercia reports. Miss Whiplash -...
Read full storyHuman rights lawyer sues himself
Controversial Canadian human rights lawyer Richard Warman sparked more furore last night when he announced he was suing himself. In a press statement, Warman said that he had come to realise that his attempts to stop people like conspiracy theoris...
Read full storySatan retires, goals achieved
After several thousand years of mayhem, soul snatching, temptation, morality compromising, lust induction, and being the supreme causative factor in moving people to lie, cheat, rape, steal, and murder, Satan has decided to call it quits. Satan, a...
Read full storyCBS New Reality Show "Arranged Marriages" Debuts with George Obama & Mom of 14!
Nairobi,Kenya/ SF/CA Combined Reality Show Mess - George Obama was bailed from jail today by Presidential Legal Counsel Greg Craig after his recent detainment for holding one (1) joint, other than his dick, in his shorts after a recent Kenyan pos...
Read full storyJade Goody To Divorce
Yes, it's true. The news we all feared has arrived. Poor Jade Goody is set for a divorce. Close friends (?) said that Jade came home from a hospital appointment to find her husband in bed with Shilpa Shetty. "It was too much for Jade to take." Cl...
Read full storyObama Admits He Has Multiple Tattoos
New United States President Barack Hussein Obama admitted yesterday that he has multiple tattoes. "Body Art" is not original in the Oval Office to this President as many previous Presidents served in the military. Obama is the first, however, to ha...
Read full storyHip Hop Harry, Sponge Bob Squarepants and C-Funk arrested for hit on Barney
There is breaking news this morning out of Compton, California where police just arrested Hip Hop Harry, C-Funk, and Sponge Bob Squarepants for the drive-by shooting of Barney, the purple dinosaur loved dearly by millions of children nationwide. W...
Read full storySlumdog Sideshow: Rohan Antao, Freida Pinto's Ex, Blames Bollywood For Break-up
Rohan Antao, former fiance of Slumdog star, Freida Pinto, blames the movies success and Pinto's costar Dev Patel for breaking them up. A report in News Of The World, Antao is quoted as saying , "The film bosses at Bollywood didn't want her to be e...
Read full storyEllen DeGeneres And Her Wife To Adopt Octuplets
BEVERLY HILLS, California - In a surprising move, talk show host Ellen DeGeneres, 51, has announced that she and Mrs. DeGeneres, aka Portia de Rossi, 36, are adopting the famous octuplets. Ellen recently met the octuplets' mother at a local Subway...
Read full storyPresident Barack Obama's Prized Bong is Missing
White House security personnel admit that they are unable to locate President Barack Obama's $1,200.00 Roor Custom Little Sista Icemaster 7.0 Bong that appears to have been stolen from his dresser in his bedroom and they have few clues as to who may...
Read full storyClockwork powered smart car announced
At a time when the majority of car manufacturers are trying to work out how to shift the daily-growing stockpile of unsold cars as recession bites deeper leaving them to resort to crazy tactics in order to get rid of them such as cereal box token-col...
Read full storySquirrel Woman Accused of Collecting Men's Nuts
Rumors abound about a squirrel woman and her insatiable appetite for collecting men's nuts. Hospitals are reporting an unusual number of balless males appearing in emergency rooms hysterically screaming about their missing testicles and one or anothe...
Read full storyDerren Brown denies influencing Premier League goal chances
'Stay with me now'. We've all heard him say it and we've all watched him do it. But none of us can work out how he does it. Yet, despite the quite unbelievable number of missed goal scoring chances across the Premier League last weekend, the TV magic...
Read full storyHillary Clinton slaps French President's wife
The newly appointed Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has reportedly slapped the French President's wife Carla Bruni Sarkozy last night in New York. They were attending a fund raising dinner held in the aid of procrastinator's around the world wh...
Read full storyThe moon is not real
In shocking news today, NASA have admitted that the moon landings were fake, but not because they could not make it to the moon, but because the moon is fake. "We actually did go to the moon," said Professor Boffin of JPL's San Andreas lab. "But w...
Read full storyPenis Monologues, Sequel to Vagina Monologues, Debuts on Broadway
The Penis Monologues, a sequel to the very popular and award winning The Vagina Monologues, is scheduled for a Friday evening opening on Broadway. The play has is about men and their relationship with their reproductive organs. All shows for the...
Read full storyFishy tales: nuclear sub crash captain 'was smashed on skunk'
Atlantic Ocean - (Merde Alors! Mess): Ministry of Defence sources have blamed the recreational smoking habits of Capt Rongleur for the stricken French submarine Le Triomphant's mid-Atlantic prang with HMS Vanguard The two vessels crashed into one...
Read full storyFiji vs Fuji war of words escalates
Things reached boiling point in the continuing war of words between two of the world's leading microelectronics companies yesterday. Japan's giant Fuji Electronics Corporation have issued a writ against Fiji Microelectronics Corporation for "delib...
Read full storyNadal's Throat Is A Bay Of Pig
Tennis Superstar Rafael Nadal has revealed the secret agony that has afflicted him since breaking on the Tennis scene in 2005; he has a tiny pig lodged in his throat. The Majorcan Maestro,22,from Majorca shocked the Tennis and Pig world this morni...
Read full storyNew York Post Attempts "Clarification" With New Cartoon
New York, New York: Mere days after the New York Post published what was first thought to be one hilarious cartoon involving President Obama's economic policies and a chimpanzee shot dead, The New York Post has published yet another cartoon in order...
Read full storyPorn Free
The Sport Daily Newspaper announced today that it intends to go Porn Free from next month. The racy red-top has decided to remove all stories and photographs of a blatantly sexual nature from its pages. In fact, anything the least bit saucy will be...
Read full storyNew Atlantis sighting 'is pre-Lemurian UFO airport runway'
Atlantic Ocean - (Grateful Dead Sea Scrolls Mess): Thames Estuary Airport backers are elated at reports that an Atlantean 'grid of streets' captured on satellite may be a 'pre-Lemurian UFO airport runway' and not the remains of the fabled ancient Cit...
Read full storyRobin Williams Lip Syncs for Geithner: US Can't Print Money Fast Enough to Keep up With Corruption and World Welfare!
Washington, DC/ All the News Fit to Print from The Mint and Then Some! - Newly minted Secretary of Treasury, Tim Geithner, appearing at a hastily called news conference with his tie poorly knotted and his shoes untied, hastened through a brief report...
Read full story"OctuMom" Receives $1 Million To Star In Skin Flick
WHITTIER, California - The world famous octuplet's mom has just signed a $1 million contract to star in a porn movie. Cicero Spoongate who is the president of LabiaLand Pictures says that the motion picture will be shot on location in Lake Tahoe,...
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