Critic dares Bollywood to make a realistic film about Mumbai. Says Bollywood stars who slam Slumdog have been living with their heads up their arses

Funny story: Critic dares Bollywood to make a realistic film about Mumbai. Says Bollywood stars who slam Slumdog have been living with their heads up their arses

MUMBAI - Ferocious, self-serving criticisms have been leveled against Danny Boyle's successful Oscar-nominated film "Slumdog Millionaire" by a jealous Bollywood fraternity and the perennially petulant Indian chatteratti. "To hear them complain, y...

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England Cricket Team The Toast Of The Caribbean

Funny story: England Cricket Team The Toast Of The Caribbean

England's cricketers were the toast of the Caribbean tonight, as they failed miserably to bowl out the West Indies to take the second Test match here in Antigua. The hosts, who needed to score 503 for an unlikely last-day victory, decided instead...

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Sparkling Water Has More Calories than Diet Cola

Funny story: Sparkling Water Has More Calories than Diet Cola

A laboratory in Switzerland has made a discovery that will upset many a dieter who may have opted for a sparkling mineral water as opposed to a diet cola or other low calorie soft drink. For it turns out that fizzy water actually contains more calor...

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'I will abolish the Friday the thirteenth superstition' Obama promises

Funny story: 'I will abolish the Friday the thirteenth superstition' Obama promises

US President Barack Obama today promised to end the superstition surrounding Fridays that fall on the thirteenth day in a month. 'People', he said, 'let us take it into our hearts, and let us move forward. Let us just say to one another, we can do...

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Man Toasted At Tanning Salon

Funny story: Man Toasted At Tanning Salon

A Health and Safety Executive investigation has been launched today after a 48-year-old man suffered burns over 99% of his body when he used a machine at an unstaffed tanning salon in Dudley. The man, Shadrach Umbongo, went along to the Black &...

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Bank of England sells interest rate TV rights for £3m

Funny story: Bank of England sells interest rate TV rights for £3m

The Bank of England has signed a £3 million TV deal for exclusive rights for its monetary policy committee (MPC) interest rate decisions. A revamp of the monthly rate decision will see announcements switched from the first Thursday of the month to...

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Ellen, Rosie, and Melissa To Lend The U.S. $20 Million

Funny story: Ellen, Rosie, and Melissa To Lend The U.S. $20 Million

MALIBU BEACH, California - Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell, and Melissa Etheridge have decided to lend the financially strapped United States $20 million. Herb Hankowitz, attorney for Tri Guys Unlimited, the company solely owned by the happy trio...

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American Idol's Tatiana Del Toro Balls

Funny story: American Idol's Tatiana Del Toro Balls

LOS ANGELES, California - Tatiana Del Toro, who many consider to be the most annoying contestant to ever appear in the eight-year history of American Idol has been eliminated. The 23-year-old drama queen from Puerto Rico has fallen by the wayside.

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Duffy hat-trick raises question marks on Welsh striker's international future

Following the 24 year old's unexpected hat-trick at the Brits this week, Welsh manager John Toshack has hinted that she maybe just the added spark he's looking for to push the Red Dragon's qualifying campaign forward. Toshack, Wales current and mo...

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Stephen Hawking "Don't worry, I can wank with my mind"

Funny story: Stephen Hawking "Don't worry, I can wank with my mind"

Doctors' with concerns over Stephen Hawking's enlarged testicles have had their fears abated today. The Professor announced that as well as proving the existence of a singularity in space-time, he could also unleash an unearthly volume of 'man juice'...

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National Statistics Office sheds light on life in the UK

Funny story: National Statistics Office sheds light on life in the UK

The National Statistics Office has unearthed some hitherto unpublished facts which were released today in an effort to get away from stories about mad Islamic clerics, Jade Goody, senior bankers' bonuses, the Home Secretary's homes, extortionate trai...

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Seamus Heaney Revealed!

Funny story: Seamus Heaney Revealed!

Irish poet and writer, Seamus Heaney has been let down by the home team today. His brother, who wishes to remain anonymous, has said that the more famous one kept 43 squirrels under his bed for luck. These Squirrels each had individual names rangi...

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Duffy's Ass Breaks Record at Brits

Funny story: Duffy's Ass Breaks Record at Brits

We learned today that Welsh singing sensation Duffy had to change her outfit part way through the Brits Awards due to a mishap in the interval. It seems she inadvertently broke an eight metre Gold Disc display with her pert buttock shelf when she tu...

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Missing $8 billion Texan fraudster Stanford 'bankrolling Mexicans' state visit to UK'

Funny story: Missing $8 billion Texan fraudster Stanford 'bankrolling Mexicans' state visit to UK'

Tijuana - (OMFG! Mess): A missing Texan fraudster accused of masterminding a $8 million Ponzi scam swindle has been named by the FBI as the head of a notorious Mexican cocaine cartel bankrolling the 30 March UK state visit of President Felipe Calderó...

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Mossad Enron cover-up behind Madoff Ponzi scam losses

Funny story: Mossad Enron cover-up behind Madoff Ponzi scam losses

Off-the-Wailing-Street, NY - (Rioters): A toxic paper trail connecting a Mossad cover up in the Enron collapse to Ponzi scam fraudster Bernard Madoff may be behind the hedge fund swindler's spectacular $50 billion heist. According to depositions f...

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Submarine slapdown! Both captains lose 'no claims' bonus

Funny story: Submarine slapdown! Both captains lose 'no claims' bonus

Nuclear Behemoths of the deep, HMS Vanguard and Le Triomphant were both badly damaged in a deep underwater crash in the middle of the Atlantic, which is expected to cost up to £50 million in repairs. Both captains lost their no claims bonuses and are...

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Record Romantic Hookup: Most Married Woman and Man With Longest Ear Hair Click On Line!

Funny story: Record Romantic Hookup: Most Married Woman and Man With Longest Ear Hair Click On Line!

Gary, Indiana, / Cosmetology News/ Personal Dating Service Update - Unlikely as it may seem, a little viewed personal ad in a local food market flyer may be responsible for hooking up two world record holders. Somehow, the food market flyer give...

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Rihanna Lying Low After Hospital Visit, Has Left Barbados

Funny story: Rihanna Lying Low After Hospital Visit, Has Left Barbados

Rihanna is on the move and staying under the radar, according to a just released report. ABC News has learned that the recuperating R&B star has left her native Barbados after spending time with her family and friends in the wake of the Feb.

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Norfolk not as flat as first thought

Funny story: Norfolk not as flat as first thought

A team of Dutch investigators from the Dutch Flat Earth Society have concluded that Norfolk is not as flat as some have suggested. Dr Rip Van Scrotum, spokesman for the Society states that it appears that the highest point is some 2 metres higher tha...

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Cancer Expected To Kill Millions More, Aside From Jade Goody

Funny story: Cancer Expected To Kill Millions More, Aside From Jade Goody

Cancer, the terrible disease that has taken hold of the Big Brother 'star' Jade Goody, is this morning reported to be a risk for millions of other sufferers worldwide, many of whom will also die. Cancer can affect people of all ages, but the risk...

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Wisconsin Man Moves Burglars Van

Funny story: Wisconsin Man Moves Burglars Van

A man in Beloit, Wisconsin made sure a pair of burglars didn't get away with his two flat-screen televisions and computers - he moved their getaway van. Henry Nicholson was in the basement of his Alexander Street home on Thursday when he heard th...

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Russians Being Usual P*icks!

Funny story: Russians Being Usual P*icks!

Both Russian and Georgian peace negotiators agreed yesterday to allow international monitors visit anywhere they need to in Georgia and both of its two breakaway republics to improve the tense security situation there, diplomats said. But they al...

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New Joint Invented

Funny story: New Joint Invented

Timothy Burr, a cabinet maker from Nottingham, has invented a new form of woodworking joint. It is a straight cut interleaved joint between two flat pieces of wood, such as in the back corner of a drawer, but with an important addition. Whereas...

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U Tube Clip Shows a Nude Obama Horsing Around in Shower After Pick Up Ball Game; Times Gets Exclusive Rights!

Funny story: U Tube Clip Shows a Nude Obama Horsing Around in Shower After Pick Up Ball Game; Times Gets Exclusive Rights!

NY/NY Wall Street Journal - The New York Times, once the proud leader of journalistic excellence, has fallen on hard times, and has now resorted to sensationalism in order to boost sagging sales and its shares on the DOW by catering to Obamamania.

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Jade Goody to live out days in Big Brother House

A deal has been struck whereby the producers of Big Brother will transform the BB House into a Hospice where Jade Goody will spend her final days. A spokesman for Inyerface Media said "Basically the BB format will be followed, but obviously there...

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American Catholic Priests Select Favorite Movies

Catholic Priests in the United States were polled about their favorite films and the results are much different than in years past. A list that used to include such noted films as Boy's Town, Shoes of the Fisherman, and The Bells of St. Mary's now appears much different. As the times have changed and the Priests have come out of the closet, the 2009 choices are nowhere near the same. Fath...

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Bono to join Girls Aloud

Funny story: Bono to join Girls Aloud

In what celebrity pundits are calling an amazing revelation, Bono, the lead singer of U2 has stated on the live broadcast of the Brits last night that he wants to join Girls Aloud. Sporting a fetching shade of eye make up, lipstick and nail varnis...

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Pensioner Attacked

Funny story: Pensioner Attacked

A boy faces charges after allegedly striking a man with a balloon in an argument over manners. Police told the Crap Times that a 78-year-old man leaving a primary school on Monday morning held the door open for a 3-year-old boy. Police said the 3-...

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Men with Big Penises Live Longer, Happier, More Satisfying and Productive Lives

Funny story: Men with Big Penises Live Longer, Happier, More Satisfying and Productive Lives

Duke University, NC- After decades of research by sociologists, psychologists, statististions, anthropologists and astrologers it has been determined, without any doubt, that men with large penises live longer, happier, more satisfying and productive...

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Caught by his own balls

Funny story: Caught by his own balls

Police said a burglary suspect was literally caught when he tripped over his own testicles while trying to run away. A part time police officer responded to an anonomous scream at a store early yesterday lunchtime and reported seeing a 77-year-old ma...

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A-Rod Volunteers in South Bronx Needle Exchange Program

Funny story: A-Rod Volunteers in South Bronx Needle Exchange Program

Call him A-Roid or A-Fraud but Yankee Alex Rodriguez who has been outed as a hormone juicer has been the first NY yankee to get involved with the ghetto neighborhood where the billion dollar stadiums are located. Millionaire ball players are chauffer...

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Child father known to Police

Funny story: Child father known to Police

Baby-father Alfie was well known to police before becoming "father" to a baby, Police have revealed. The 12-year-old was cautioned for dealing drugs at age 3 years, spent six months inside at age 5 for stealing cars and joyriding, was arrested fo...

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British Politicos Swim the Tiber

Funny story: British Politicos Swim the Tiber

In an effort to outdo current media favorite, the dead CS Lewis, who went from profound atheist to simple minded fundamentalist cult classicist, British politicians have been swimming the Tiber back to Roman catholicism like lemmings off of the cliff...

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Bush Mansion in Dallas to Become Homeless Shelter

Funny story: Bush Mansion in Dallas to Become Homeless Shelter

Truly decent and ultra patriotic Amuricans like Laura and W Bush are stepping up to respond to the housing crisis that their negligent administration caused. Countless hardworking Americans are now without a roof over their heads because of Bush econ...

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Bush and Cheney Digging Tunnel to China

Funny story: Bush and Cheney Digging Tunnel to China

George W and his MasterBlaster Little Dick Cheney are believed to be in the process of digging a tunnel to the other side of the globe. Frightened by rumors that the Obama Justice Department may actually pursue justice, the infamous war criminals...

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UK and US Environmental Protection Agencies to monitor Breathing and Farting; The Vart Avoids Tracking for Now

Funny story: UK and US Environmental Protection Agencies to monitor Breathing and Farting; The Vart Avoids Tracking for Now

Worldwide Environmental Protection Agencies, especially the British and Colonial divisions will begin monitoring Carbon Dioxide and Methane. EPAUK has resolved to track every breathing mammal for its CO2 load. USAEPA has made a similar resolution:...

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Faceoff or Sign-off!

Funny story: Faceoff or Sign-off!

As recently as 24 hours back, Faceoff.web has released its new "Theft & Confiscating Policy". According to the new T&C Policy, hackers shall be given with secret logins along with shady ids. This would comfort the hackers and reduces their...

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New Book, "Screw Mars and Venus: Men and Women are from Uranus" is a Best-Seller

Funny story: New Book, "Screw Mars and Venus: Men and Women are from Uranus" is a Best-Seller

Possum Creek, AL- The publishing world and authors of self-help books alike have been turned on their respective ears by the new number one best-selling non-fiction book in the nation, Screw Mars and Venus: Men and Women are from Uranus. The unlik...

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Micro-chipped cockroach causes havoc

Funny story: Micro-chipped cockroach causes havoc

Shaun O.T. Seine read about USDA's National Animal Identification System (NAIS) in The Washington Stump, and decided that he would get his pet cockroach, Bernard, micro-chipped. It took less than two weeks before Shaun, and thousands of others, be...

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Five Civilized Tribes Decide It's No Fun

Funny story: Five Civilized Tribes Decide It's No Fun

Descendants of the Five Civilized Tribes (The Cherokee, Choctaw, Chickasaw, Creek, and Seminole tribes) ahve decided that being civilized is not much fun after all and have announced that they are going to give up that designation. Said Cherokee C...

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Spoof writer becomes America's Press Secretary

Funny story: Spoof writer becomes America's Press Secretary

In a recent interview, the Editor of The Washington Stump, Sir Phull O'Krapp admitted that all of his newspaper's stories were spoofs. He said "I am amazed how those in the government seem to base their plans and projections on stories in this newspa...

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Secret Plans for Terrorist World Domination Discovered

Funny story: Secret Plans for Terrorist World Domination Discovered

Secret plans written and approved by the late Ayatollah Khomeini for world domination have been discovered in a cave in Iraq by soldiers searching for Osama Bin Laden. The plans, written in the mid 1970's and bound in a book, apparently were printed...

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Researchers Uncover Cancer Cause

Funny story: Researchers Uncover Cancer Cause

Researchers at Johns Hopkins University and the Mayo Clinic have discovered a new probable cause for many, if not most, forms of cancer. In a study lasting three years and costing in excess of twelve billion dollars, Scientists have linked together...

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Leaning Tower of Pisa Collapses!

Funny story: Leaning Tower of Pisa Collapses!

The famous Leaning Tower of Pisa, one of the most visited and photographed buildings in the world, collapsed Tuesday morning. Fortunately, no one was hurt in the accident. The tower, in the province of Pisa in the Tuscany region of Italy, begin cons...

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Bank of Upper Podunk Issues Financial Outlook

Funny story: Bank of Upper Podunk Issues Financial Outlook

Podunk USA: The Bank of Upper Podunk (BUP) has issued a letter to its millions of customers, investors and shareholders around the world. BUP wants its clients to have confidence and be assured that there are "no problems" with their corporate bankin...

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