Written by Abel Rodriguez

Monday, 16 February 2009

image for The Search For President Obama's Nickname
President Barack "The Big O" Obama (photo courtesy of Malia Obama)

WASHINGTON, D.C. - President Barack Obama's top aides are trying to figure out a nice catchy nickname to use for the president.

One aide suggested to simply use his three initials, BHO (Barack Hussein Obama). But that idea was quickly shot down because they felt that the HO part would offend women who are HO's (i.e. streetwalkers, hookers, prostitutes, hussies, or sluts).

Someone then suggested to just use the initials for Barack Obama, BO. Well that was thrown out because of the obvious reference to prespiration smell.

A close friend of the Obama's, Herbert 'Farina' Carpet suggested that they use the first three letters of his first name and combine them with the last three letter of his last name, which would be, BARAMA.

Vice-President Joe Biden emailed one of the aide's and said that they should use the first letter from his first name and the first three letters from his last name, BOBA.

And Secretary of the Treasury Oprah Winfrey recommended that he use the first letter of the first name and the last three letters of his last name, BAMA.

One of Michelle Obama's cousins, LaShawna 'LaSheena' Lantana urged him to take the last four letters of his first name and combine them with the first two letters of his last name, RACK-OB.

Several aides stated that they liked that one, but then a secret service agent said that his wife's gynecologist (Ob/Gyn) went by the nickname, RACK-OB.

The special agent did suggest that they modify the name by turning it into RACK-O, but Speaker of The House Nancy Pelosi said that RACK-O written backwards was OKCAR, which is a make of automobile manufactured in the Arab country of Oman.

Pamela Anderson called up Vice-President Joe Biden and suggested that he could use the nickname, the BIG O. But aide's threw that one out since they felt that it would offend Oprah Winfrey.

Finally, Obama's half-brother Aweemawok Obama, who stands 7 foot 11 and plays for the Boston Celtics suggested that he use the name BARRY.

He said it was easy to pronounce, it was not in any way offensive, and that no one used that name as a nickname.

Michelle mentioned it to her husband and the president smiled, nodded his head in agreement, and said "Ladies and gentlemen hold your calls we have us a winner."

In related news. The White House has contacted Brent Barry, Dave Barry, Rick Barry, Barry Bonds, and Barry Manilow and all have given their permission for President Barack Obama to use the name Barry as his nickname.

Brent Barry, ex-San Antonio Spur and now Houston Rocket even said that when the Obama's get their little girls' their pet puppy, that it would be fine with him if they name it Brent, if it's a boy, or Brentina if it's a girl.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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