Human rights lawyer sues himself

Funny story written by The Red Menace

Tuesday, 24 February 2009

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Controversial Canadian human rights lawyer Richard Warman sparked more furore last night when he announced he was suing himself.

In a press statement, Warman said that he had come to realise that his attempts to stop people like conspiracy theorist David Icke speaking and selling his books in Canada was a violation of Icke's human rights.

"I realise that just because I do not agree with someone's point of view, does not mean that others should not be allowed to listen as decide whether Icke is telling the truth or is some new-age whack job full of crap".

"Its both patronising and dangerous for one person to hold themselves up as the sole arbiter of freedom of speech, hence my decision today to issue a write against myself."

But upon hearing the self-imposed writ, Warman reacted angrily by issuing a counter writ against himself for libel.

"The suggestion that I am some kind of obsessive despot who gets off on bullying, threatening and suing people is totally odious" he said.

His press conference was then interrupted as he served papers stopping himself from giving interviews. He also issued libel writs to all the attending journalists warning them that his other press release contained defamatory statements and that not only would they would be sued if they repeated them, but that he was also sue printers, newsagents and paperboys for distributing that news.

Warman then left the rostrum heckling and pushing himself before being ejected by security staff.

An aide concluded the press conference by saying "We may find some views out there offensive or even outrageous, but so long as they are within the law, we have to accept that as part of a democratic society, that sometimes we will hear things we do not agree with".

"Freedom of speech is an important issue, its a basic human right, and we should be thankful for lawyers like Richard Warman who make sure that it is never trivialised or debased."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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