Supermarket Refuses To Sell Old Bloke Tobacco

Funny story: Supermarket Refuses To Sell Old Bloke Tobacco

A leading supermarket's decision to refuse a sale of tobacco to a sixty-seven year old man, who walks with the aid of a zimmer frame has sparked controversy on an international basis. Jeffrey Fagg, 67, who can only walk with the assistance of a zi...

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Man With World's Largest Frying Pan And Woman With World's Largest Maris Piper Make Heavenly Chips

Funny story: Man With World's Largest Frying Pan And Woman With World's Largest Maris Piper Make Heavenly Chips

Twas a journalist's dream. Today, the man with the world's largest frying pan met the woman with the world's largest Maris Piper, and the results were HOT! HOT! HOT! Albie There, owner of the world's only six-foot frying pan met up with Yes Yes Oh...

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Rihanna learns to keep her mouth shut the hard way

Funny story: Rihanna learns to keep her mouth shut the hard way

International pop sensation Rihanna was taught a valuable life lesson this week when she finally learned that sometimes it's better to just keep your mouth shut. The incident happened whilst the umbrella singer was buying her dinner from a hotdog...

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Second Test Between England And West Indies Ends In Draw

Funny story: Second Test Between England And West Indies Ends In Draw

There was better news for the England cricket set-up today when the team gained a tame but creditable draw in the second Test against the West Indies at the Sir Vivian Richards Stadium in Antigua. The tourists, fresh from their humiliating innings...

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China claims potty training reduces tourism

Funny story: China claims potty training reduces tourism

In a recent informal discussion during an elaborate lunch, President Hu Jin Tao, after a huge gin tonic, mentioned that he had received a report related to the problems created by Chinese style toilets. Mr Hu Flungdung said "Apparently it's not t...

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Ed Balls rebrands as X

Funny story: Ed Balls rebrands as X

Kiddy minister Ed Balls is to legally change his name to Ed X. Brown ├╝ber-underling Ball has taken the decision to rebrand himself to make himself more accessible. "People say I am out of touch - but Ed X will be absolutely down with Generation...

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Recession victims TV Cowell X-job op

Funny story: Recession victims TV Cowell X-job op

Credit crunch job losers could find employment through a new TV series. Simon Cowell, the Marquis of Granby, George Osborne and Les Dennis are to be judges in the new series of Britain's Got A Job. "We are looking for real victims of the credit...

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Three Foot Tall Thirteen Year-Old Fathers Four Foot Baby

Funny story: Three Foot Tall Thirteen Year-Old Fathers Four Foot Baby

What's it all about Alfie? As if all the bad weather wasn't enough, breaking news reveals that a three foot tall thirteen-year-old has sired a baby, who's a full foot taller than her father already! Baby Daisy tipped the scales at a whopping 56lbs...

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Man With Little Penis Braves Taking Shower After Ballgame.

Funny story: Man With Little Penis Braves Taking Shower After Ballgame.

It took quite a bit of courage for Freddie Hancock to get into the shower with all his teammates after the neighborhood donkey-basketball game for a local charity. "I thought I felt a pin prick when I bent over awhile ago!" yelled Billy Ray Johnso...

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Jimmy Sirrel responsible for Paul Newman's saucy success

Funny story: Jimmy Sirrel responsible for Paul Newman's saucy success

An ex-Scottish football manager and an ex-American actor. An odd couple indeed. But how so? Many know of Paul Newman's huge success in later life with his range of salad dressings. What few know, however, is that Newman's inspiration was the one time...

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New Pink Panther Critized, Pockets Millions, Etc. Etc,

Funny story: New Pink Panther Critized, Pockets Millions, Etc. Etc,

U.S. actor Steve Martin dismissed negative reviews of the latest installment of the Pink Panther movie franchise, saying comedies always had to overcome critical snobbery and that the genre was "not a critics' medium" "nor a medium's critic!" "The...

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Man In Prison Says They Got The Wrong Man!

Funny story: Man In Prison Says They Got The Wrong Man!

William Jackson of Tennessee State Prison won't shut up about "them getting the wrong man". "That's all he wants to talk about", stated inmate Dilbert Lindsey. "My turn sharing his cell is almost over and I'll be glad. I mean, the man will drive y...

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'Scooby Doo and the Prophet Mohammed Go to Legoland' film opens

Funny story: 'Scooby Doo and the Prophet Mohammed Go to Legoland' film opens

In Leicester Square today, 'Scooby Doo and the Prophet Mohammed Go to Legoland' opened. In the cartoon film Scooby Doo and Shaggy go for a holiday to Denmark and find themselves trapped in Legoland, and then the evil villain, the Prophet Mohammed,...

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Madonna To Auction More Nude Pictures For Obama Stimulus

Funny story: Madonna To Auction More Nude Pictures For Obama Stimulus

(Los Angeles-CA) Directly on the heels or insert the body part of your choice of this week's Christie's auction of a full frontal nude photograph of Madonna selling for over $37,000.00, the original Material Girl announced today at a Regent Beverly W...

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Dying Man Hopes To Meet Johnny Carson

Funny story: Dying Man Hopes To Meet Johnny Carson

Sam Anderson of Buckley, Indiana is on his deathbed but, except for the tall hooded guy stretched out there beside him on the bed with a sickle, you wouldn't know it. "I'm excited", stated Anderson! "Oh I hurt like the dickens but by tomorrow nig...

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Flyers Announce: WallyMart Offers Big Rollback On Condoms!

Funny story: Flyers Announce: WallyMart Offers Big Rollback On Condoms!

WallyMart has announced that their "natural lambskin" condoms are being rolled back not only for a lower price but for a snugger, tighter fit. "And", added the retail giant, "these boxes are labeled by code and not by size so even your cashier wo...

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Girls Aloud Sign New Contract

Funny story: Girls Aloud Sign New Contract

Talent-free zone Girls Aloud have announced they have signed a new deal with their record label Fascination, despite recent reports that the group may be on the verge of breaking up. The band have reportedly signed a six-figure deal with the compa...

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Sliced Bread Knocked off top spot!

Funny story: Sliced Bread Knocked off top spot!

The widely popular television (also known as the stoner's paradise, the picto-cube, the Funbox, and the idiot box) is now the greatest achievement in the history of mankind since the wheel, sliced bread and, according to many, white chocolate Kinder...

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Another St Valentine's Day Massacre as Puppet Monarchy contemplates 'doing a Waco'?

Funny story: Another St Valentine's Day Massacre as Puppet Monarchy contemplates 'doing a Waco'?

London - (Branch Davidians Copycat Mess): Fears are growing about the troubled UK Puppet Monarchy 'doing a St Valentine's Day Waco' after the European Court of Human Frights ordered the entire spoof dynasty to undergo compulsory equality training and...

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Big Oil To Bail Out America's Broken Ass

Funny story: Big Oil To Bail Out America's Broken Ass

San Ramon, Ca - (Upstream Mess): A massive sweet light crude find, easily 100 times the size of Saudi Arabia's record-breaking 85 billion barrel Ghawar Field, "will bail out America's bankrupt economy" according to the lucky landowners in secret Big...

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Snow place like home

Funny story: Snow place like home

The small village of Loxton in Somerset has today released plans to have winter all year round in a headstrong attempt to keep the dreaded Harlequin Ladybird off there streets and away from the folds in there curtains. The Harlequin comes form As...

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Iran Claims Its Missile Brought Down Satellites!

Funny story: Iran Claims Its Missile Brought Down Satellites!

Russia is monitoring the wreckage of two communications satellites that collided in space above Siberia. NASA says neither the earth nor the International Space Station are at risk from the debris of the Russian and American satellites. But what caus...

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Obama Continues to Lobby for "Best Actor" in Horror Docu - Drama!

Funny story: Obama Continues to Lobby for "Best Actor" in Horror Docu - Drama!

Hollywood,Ca/ Rolling Stone - President Barry O'Bama continues his whirl wind, non stop campaigning for an Oscar nomination in the World's continuing Docu Drama, "Mayhem on Main Street". The production, which to date has cost $760M in campaign f...

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Salmanella Heaven In Austin Peanut Plant

Funny story: Salmanella Heaven In Austin Peanut Plant

Health Inspectors in Austin, Texas have ordered a recall of all products ever shipped from a now-closed a US Peanut plant in Plainview amid a nationwide salmonella outbreak. The order came Thursday evening from the Department of State Health Servi...

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US woman gives birth to $800,000

Funny story: US woman gives birth to $800,000

BELLFLOWER, California - A woman gave birth on Monday to $800,000, only the second time in history such a large amount has survived more than a few hours without being stolen, doctors said. The mother gave birth to eight thousand $100 dollar bills...

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Government to Introduce 'Cohesion' Laws

Funny story: Government to Introduce 'Cohesion' Laws

Following the outcry over the Geert Wilders incident, the Government is to introduce new legislation to preserve social cohesion. Under the terms of the new legislation, to be announced today, all references to Christianity and Atheism are to be b...

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Microsoft Offer Bounty for Virus Writer

Funny story: Microsoft Offer Bounty for Virus Writer

A reward of $250,000 has been offered by Microsoft to find out who was behind the Downadup/Cornficker virus. Since it started circulating in October 2008, the virus has infected millions of PCs worldwide, including, hospital computers and even Roy...

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Flag poles attack Essex

Funny story: Flag poles attack Essex

With over one hundred confirmed deaths, 50 people injured and twenty suspected anal brutalities, terrorised citizens of Essex plea "when will the madness end?" These shocking statistics were released by Colchester's local police station yesterday...

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Laptop Must be Found - Police Ask Public for Help

Funny story: Laptop Must be Found - Police Ask Public for Help

Using technology that is designed to identify computer viruses, the Metropolitan Police today began the hunt for a laptop PC that was left in the back of a taxi yesterday. Police were guarded about providing many details, but said that it was a matt...

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Dorothy Arrested For Oz Fires

Funny story: Dorothy Arrested For Oz Fires

Munchkin-land Oz -- Dorothy Gale is under arrest and facing multiple felonies that could send her to the electric chair. The creepy little brat stands accused of starting an inferno that scorched Oz and led to thousands of deaths. Her sleazy cohort...

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Sarah Palin Explains Strange Kids' Names

Funny story: Sarah Palin Explains Strange Kids' Names

In an exclusive interview, Sarah Palin sat down to tell the world just why she gave her children names that would leave them resenting her for the rest of their lives. On son Track: "Because Todd and I had to make tracks to get married after he was conceived. But don't tell anyone." Bristol: "'cause those darn democrats just make me bristol with anger." Willow: "That was an inside joke b...

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Queen launches website

Funny story: Queen launches website

After using computers for the past two years, Queen Elizabeth the second has come into the digital age by creating her very own web site. Her initial attempts were rather poor, but after studying website programming for eighteen months, Liz has cr...

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Bush Goes Out In A Blaze Of Stupidity

Funny story: Bush Goes Out In A Blaze Of Stupidity

He stopped to take a sip from a beer, a luxury he could afford now that the cameras were all on Obama and not on him. "Now take Herbert Hoover. He was always said to be the worst and he wuz only one term. I got him beat! What about Taft? That guy was so fat they had to make a special bath tub for him! They say I'm maybe the most fit President ever. See, I am number one at something!" "What a...

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Researchers Find Marijuana Substitute

Funny story: Researchers Find Marijuana Substitute

With the US Food and Drug Administration (FDA) cracking down hard on marijuana users and suppliers, researchers have discovered a synthetic compound that mimics the drugs benefits. Researchers at the University of California Berkeley have discover...

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More People Inserting Objects Inside Themselves!

Funny story: More People Inserting Objects Inside Themselves!

According to reports, people of all ages are inserting objects into themselves. While it's been known to happen from time to time, now it seems to be epidemic. Professionals at Nationwide Children's Hospital in Cleveland, Ohio, told an annual meet...

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President Obama's and President Bush's Communication Skills Examined

Funny story: President Obama's and President Bush's Communication Skills Examined

Washington DC: Dr. Kartoffel Kopf, a visiting professor from the Dusseldorf School of Linguistics, has been lecturing here in the USA about how great leaders communicate. He has postulated an analytical model to measure the information contained in a...

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Jury Consults Tarot Cards

Funny story: Jury Consults Tarot Cards

An Appeal Court in California has been asked to review a murder conviction on the basis that the jury reached its verdict after following some Tarot readings in the jury room while no one else was looking. Actually only four were involved in the r...

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Porn Free

Funny story: Porn Free

The Sport Daily Newspaper announced today that it intends to go Porn Free from next month. The racy red-top has decided to remove all stories and photographs of a blatantly sexual nature from its pages. In fact, anything the least bit saucy will be...

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