Sophomoric Twits and Depraved Porn Junkies Invade Streets of Spoofington California

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

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Known the world over for their eclectic residential base of satirical writers, Spoofington California was overrun this past weekend with nebbishes, sophomoric young males, hetero porn junkies and puerile twits from various age groups, all expecting to find an event titled, "The West Coast Free Porn Convention".

Originally written for TheSpoof.com Online Magazine, but somehow picked up by three international news wires as an actual news story, the satirical article called for all interested men to come and meet the stars of no less than 100 adult films.

Co-authors for the piece and residents of Spoofington, Monkey Woods and Jesus Buddha, never intended to mislead anyone about the fake nature of the story, yet their small town had been overwhelmed with men in unfashionable short pants, plaid short sleeve shirts, typically wearing black socks with white tennis shoes.

"The fanny packs and perpetual boners gave them away", Jesus Buddha said. "They are everywhere. I couldn't even get my daily caramel double shot skim latte with fat free foam and a sprinkle of cinnamon. The line was too damn long."

Gravitating towards each other during the day with amoeba-like movement and acting as one social organism, the throng of unwashed and un-cool masses headed for the beach, facing out towards the west and the eventual sunset. Police had modified Jeep vehicles by then, attaching loud speakers to the tops of their roll bars and were rolling past the crowd.

The announcement was clear, there would be no free porn, free lunch or anything free for that matter. Captured viral video shows thousands of boners deflating in unison after the amplified announcement.

Spoofington California returned to normal the following day, but sparked another announcement by the Governor, Arnold Swarzenegger. "Yaah, It's not like we vant to dizcourage young visitors from coming out to our beautiful state, and all of these things, but come back for healthy, conservative, christian, republican reasons. Yaah."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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