Study: Erections Cause Stupidity In Office Workers

Funny story written by Bureau

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

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"Gloop! Gloop!

A new study coming out tomorrow in the New York Constitution will show that male office workers have a hard time with erections.

"Our study shows that a newly hired sexy lady placed only one full day in an office causes male productivity to go down nearly 40%", states Professor Sigmund Floog of the SFB Institute (Social Functioning in Business Institute or, as they call it locally, the Shit For Brains Institute). "Only the very strongest can resist taking a peek from time to time."

Although silly behavior has been noted for many years the new study reports that there is much more to it than first suspected.

"It's not just the pissing contest among the males working there, neither the fact that their eyes stray and hurt their concentration, our study has found that the new female causes erections. Therefore, the blood in the male's heads runs to their penis, not their brain."

Floog then went on and stated that it actually causes the best-dressed, no-nonsense worker there to drool like an idiot.

"We call this the 'Process of Natural Erection'. And here's a big surplus! I mean, here comes a big surprise. Hey, who is THAT??? She new here or what?.........Gloop!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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