Beyonce: What's The Matter Tiger, Black Girls Not Good Enough For Ya?

Funny story written by Abel Rodriguez

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

image for Beyonce: What's The Matter Tiger, Black Girls Not Good Enough For Ya?
A photo of Oprah Winfrey standing on a step ladder changing a light bulb.

CHICAGO - Beyonce made an appearance on The Oprah Winfrey Show and after singing her hit song Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) sat down to chat with the Queen of The United States.

Talk got around to the continuing Tiger Woods "Golf Gate" saga and Oprah asked Beyonce what she thought about the whole intriguing mess.

Beyonce told Oprah that she is really pissed off at that skinny little [N-WORD DELETED BY SPELL CHECKER].

"Now hold on there girl" Oprah cautioned. "Tiger is my boy, and he also happens to be a damn good friend of mine."

And Beyonce said that she did not give a rat's a*s and that it was not about friendship. She then asked Oprah why it is that of the seven women who have come forward so far none of them are black.

Oprah simply raised her eyebrows.

Beyonce fired back, I'll tell you why because black athletes like Tiger, and O.J., and Kobe like to use them white girls for their hormonal needs, but when they need someone to talk to and to understand any problem they may be going through they always run back to the black women.

She went on and told Oprah. Just look at that shithead O.J. He spent all his adult life messing with white women. And when he got into trouble who was his biggest supporters? Black women. The other women turned on him like day old guacamole.

Oprah listened. And then she said, "Girlfriend, Tiger is a friend of mine. So doncha be dissin' on him. You wanna diss on someone go diss on those two good for nothin' punks Chris Brown and Kanye West."

"Hey girlfriend" Beyonce fired back. "Kanye, he be my boy. So you leave him the effen out of this."

Oprah stood up and said,"You know what fat ass, speaking of out, get your big butted behind the hell out of my show, now, before I kicks that humongous caboose of yours from here to frickin Cleveland."

In other news. Senator John Edwards was having lunch at a Taco Bell in Raleigh, North Carolina and one of the employees overheard him saying, "Thank you Tiger, thank you Tiger," over and over and over.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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