Tiger Woods drops golf, launches porn career

Funny story written by Helen Tarnation

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

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Woods scents profits in porn industry

Tiger Woods, whose unparalleled golf career has made him the first to top $1 billion in championship earnings, is dropping golf as a career -- and launching a new career in the porn industry.

In addition to career winnings, Woods' prowess on the golf course earned him millions in corporate sponsorships, and even a nomination by a US Congressman for the Congressional Medal of Honor.

Then the revelations came pouring in: that he had cheated on his wife with as many as seven other women, rumored recordings of phone sex with one of them, and claims that a women's fluff magazine has pictures of him in the nude.

With corporate sponsorships evaporating, the bid for his Medal of Honor withdrawn, his PGA membership in jeopardy, and yet more allegations of his sexual excesses in the works, Tiger has decided on a career change.

'It's all, been there, done that' for me, said an unapologetic Woods. 'I've won all the golf trophies there are, I've beaten all the best golfers there are, so what's left?' he said.

'Heck, I even got married and made some babies. Been there, done that.'

'But there are so many hot babes in the world, it will be a real challenge to jump them all', he added. 'So I figure, start at the top, with the hottest and the best. That's the porn babes.'

Woods figures he can make as much money on porn as he did on golf, or maybe even more.

'I'll still be a star', Woods says. 'I'll just be a different kind of star.'

'And with all these hot women coming forward about being with me', he concluded, 'that's a lot of advance endorsements for my upcoming films.'

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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